Platinum Premier (Worcester, MA) - CLOSED

Quality of dances (4/20) – If lap dances are as important to you as they are to us, don’t bother coming to Platinum Premier. There’s 1-way contact, but even that isn’t very aggressive. A bouncer stares at you while you’re getting a dance, so even in the unlikely scenario that you find a cool dancer, you still won’t be getting away with anything.

Quality of dancers (7/10) – There were a few very hot young dancers, but even though the quality is fairly good overall, it isn’t up to the level that you’d expect for a place that looks this nice.

Number of Dancers (3/10) – Hurricane Betty’s is a hole in the wall club just down the street from here, and it had significantly more dancers than Platinum Premier. A club that’s this big should have several girls on stage and several talking to customers, but they did not.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (1.5/5) – There’s some variation in body type and age, but you’re going to find mostly white girls in here.

Attitude of dancers (2/10) – The nice building gives these girls the idea that they’re special for working here, and most of them act like it. You’d think that the dancers would be happy that I’m giving them $25 to do not much of anything, but the one girl basically called me cheap because I wouldn’t pay double for her and her roommate to dance for me at the same time. I’ll admit that I was intrigued, but I’m never going to pay $50 for a dance, especially if it’s not full contact.

Value (2/10) – The cover is $6, presumably to prove that they’re more exclusive than all the other clubs that only charge $5 to get in. Drinks are another $5, and the dances are $25. You can throw dollars on the stage, but the girls pay much more attention to the pole than they do to the customers.

Dance Setup (3/10) – The benches are decent and most of the customers can’t see you, but those are the only positives of the dance setup. There are no partitions and there’s a bouncer standing right beside the dance area who watches all the lack of action.

Club Setup (5.5/10) – This is one of the nicer strip club buildings that I’ve been to, but they don’t even come close to maximizing the potential of the space. They have enough room for a lot of decent sized tables in the stage room, but instead, they just have rows of 2-person tables lined up against each other, making it more like a movie theater than a gentleman’s club. The bar is in another room, out of view of the main stage. There’s a smaller stage near the bar, but no one was on it when I was there.

Club Atmosphere (2.5/10) – Even though this is a nude club, it’s very sterile, and seems more like a trendy steakhouse than a strip club. This wouldn’t be my top choice for a place to get dinner, but I’d be much more likely to come here to eat than I would be to come for a beer.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – Platinum Premier is right down the road from Hurricane Betty’s and Holy Cross, and they have a large, fairly secure parking lot.

Overall – If you’re looking to take your girl to a club to show her that strip clubs aren’t seedy and that she wouldn’t object to anything that strippers will do to a guy, this might be a decent place to take her; otherwise, I’d avoid Platinum Premier.

TOTAL SCORE = 32.5