Club Babylon (Duncannon, PA)

Quality of Dances (8/20) –  Despite their best efforts to give a good dance, I had to physically push two of the girls away because they were smashing my sensitive parts.  I like to think they weren't used to guys with nuts as big as mine, but it's more likely that they just have no lap dance skills.  On the bright side, the girls that I got dances from at least attempted to use their legs to provide some friction and none of them had been working here for very long, so maybe they'll improve.  Thanks to the cameras, you won't get away with touching the upper bodies, but leg and hip touching seem to be fine.

Quality of Dancers (5/10) – Most of the girls here are fairly young and are in relatively good shape.  I wouldn't describe any of them as real beauty queens, but the majority of girls are decent and are certainly a lot better than the ones that you'd find across the street at Fantasy's Island.

Number of Dancers (4/10) – I've only been here once, so maybe my experience wasn't typical, but I saw about a half dozen dancers and about the same number of customers.  That isn't ideal for a Friday night, but it's still easy to find a girl for a dance within a minute or two if that's what you're looking for.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (0.5/5) – I hope you're into white girls, because that's all that you're going to find here.  I'll give them half a point though, because the one girl had a tan, and for Duncannon, that counts as diversity.  There was also a little variation of body types.

Attitude of Dancers (2/10) –  I'm not a fan of paying for a dance in advance, but asking for a tip in advance is particularly bad.  I blame the club for that more than I blame the girls, since the girls don't even get a cut of the dance fees.  Either way though, it sucks.  I also didn't think that the girls circulated or chatted enough with customers, but they were at least fairly enthusiastic while on stage.

Value (7/10) –  BYOB is always a solid value, there's no cover, and the dances are a decent deal at 2 for $20 and 3 for $25.  You're expected to match the dance price for a tip, but 2 for $40 or 3 for $50 still isn't too bad.  The only real drawback is that there's not really a cheap way to sample a girl before dropping some significant money for multiple dances, so you have to invest a little time into scouting at the stage instead of just taking a chance with the first hot girl who approaches.

Dance Setup (3.5/10) – You get your own room for lap dances, but it's not nearly as sweet as it sounds since there's a window looking out to the main room and a camera that is monitored by whoever is working at the desk.  Still, it's nice to not have to worry about any other guys sitting near you, and the couch is fairly comfortable.

Club Setup (1.5/10) – The one half of the building is a porn store, but the club area has a real warehouse feel with a high ceiling, lots of concrete and several uncomfortable little chairs.  It really feels unfinished, and since it's a fairly new club, I'll hold out hope that they're still making improvements.  For now though, it's pretty shitty.

Club Atmosphere (1.5/10) – As with most strip clubs that don't serve alcohol, there seems to be a disproportionately high percentage of of young d-bags in this place.  BYOB is nice for people who live nearby, but unfortunately, I didn't have a cooler full of beer in my car when I was in the area, so I had to suffer through this place without the assistance of alcohol.

Club Accessibility (0.5/5) – It's right across the street from Fantasy's Island, but that's not a good thing.  Like everything else in Duncannon, Babylon is pretty much in the middle of nowhere, though you could get here from Harrisburg in a little under half an hour if you were so inclined.

Overall – You'd have to go out of your way to get to Club Babylon, but you'd have to be crazy to make the effort.  Harrisburg-based strip club enthusiasts don't have a lot of options, but if you're willing to drive this far, you're much better off driving a little further to the more mediocre (in a good way) Wild J's in Port Trevorton.

TOTAL SCORE = 33.5