Blush (Pittsburgh, PA)

Quality of Dances (11.5/20) - I didn't get the feeling that extras are available, but most of the girls provide a decent grind and two-way contact is encouraged to varying degrees. Most of them welcome some breast groping and some girls have told me I could do whatever I wanted as long as I made sure that the camera didn't have a clear sightline if I wanted to rub their crotches. In the past, I've gotten a lot more teasing than quality dancing at Blush and it's possible that some of the girls still do that, but all of my recent dances here have been fairly good. 

Quality of Dancers (7/10) – These ladies are, for the most part, fairly attractive, but they’re a noticeable step below what you’d find at Cheerleaders.  For whatever reason, most of the black dancers that I've seen here haven't done much for me, but most of the paler ladies relatively young, in fairly good shape and in the 6-8 range.

Number of Dancers (4.5/10) – On Friday and Saturday nights, I've seen 15-20 women dancing which sounds fairly good, but it's actually not great considering that the club gets packed with so many customers that you can barely move. I hate to tell a club to raise their cover charge, but they need to do something to thin out the crowd on weekend nights, or they need to hire more dancers, because what they had just wasn’t getting the job done.  At non-peak times, I've found about half as many dancers, but since there's usually only a handful of customers, the ratio was much more favorable. 

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3.5/5) – I’m giving them a 3.5, but the variety at Blush is as about good as you’ll find in western Pennsylvania.  Most of the ladies are black or white, but I’ve seen a few Asians and olive skinned ladies as well, and there’s sufficient size variation. 

Attitude of Dancers (3/10) – These girls are nice enough once you talk to them, but like everywhere else in Pittsburgh, there are so many customers at prime time that the ladies don’t mind giving customers attitude, especially if they don’t think those particular customers are likely to be big spenders.   Ladies, maybe pissing a guy off won’t cost you anything tonight because you’re busy, but it will cost you tomorrow when the club is dead and the only potential customer is the guy you just pissed off. 

Value (4/10) – Everything is slightly more expensive than it should be with a $10 cover, $30 dances (a slightly discounted $79 if you buy 3) and $10 drinks, but nothing is too outlandish.  Plus, you certainly get more for your money from the nude stage action than you do from the topless show at Cheerleaders.  I was quoted $220 for a half hour upstairs or $360 for a full hour, but I'm not sure what exactly that includes.  

Dance Setup (6/10) – The chairs aren’t particularly comfortable, but you get your own booth with an opaque curtain blocking the view from anyone else.  I was told that there's a camera in there, but I didn't get the feeling that anyone monitors that too closely.  As an added bonus, they have TV screens in each booth that show the stage, so you can watch that if you're bored by the lady you're with.  Though, if you're bored by the lady you're with, why did you just give her $30 for a dance?      

Club Setup (2/10) – Blush is a small club with a narrow stage along the right side wall, a reasonably long but very narrow square bar in a raised area along the back wall and a small cage-like stage in a back corner, but most of the club is standing room only.   That would be awkward but tolerable under normal circumstances, but this place can get so packed that you’ll get more contact from other customers bumping into you than you could hope to get from the dancers.

Club Atmosphere (6/10) – This place can be cramped and just generally crazy, but it's actually a fun place to hang out for an hour or two, especially before or after a sporting event.  It's too crowded for large groups, but groups of about 4 guys or less should have a good time in here.  

Club Accessibility (5/5) – Blush is right downtown and is within easy walking distance of several hotels and the Consol Energy Center and PNC Park.  Parking can be a bit of a pain in the ass, but you can usually find street parking nearby, and if not, there's a parking garage right across the street.   

Overall - You can get better contact at Silky's in McKees Rocks, the girls are hotter at Cheerleaders and Club Erotica, and the Filly Corral is great if you're willing to drive for a half hour, but the combination of reasonably hot girls, fairly good dances, nude stage action, a full bar and a nice, relaxed vibe, makes Blush my favorite option when I'm in or around downtown Pittsburgh.    

RAW SCORE = 52.5

Hi-Way Playground (Yukon, PA)

I won’t be able to write a full review since I wasn’t even invited to enter the main room of the Hi-Way Playground, but I saw more than enough to tell you that it’s definitely not worth visiting.

I wasn’t expecting a lot since I showed up in the afternoon, but it’s still pretty sad that the only girl in the building was working the front desk. The entrance to the club is in a room where they display a bunch of porn videos (no idea whether they’re for sale or if you can jerk off to them in their video booths, but I didn’t feel any need to inquire into that), and then you need to pay a $15 cover to get entry into the main room. The one nice thing about paying the cover is that you’ll then get free all-you-can-drink beer, but the girl at the front desk didn’t feel like dancing on stage, so she gave me the following options: 1) buy a lap dance from her; 2) buy a VIP dance from her; or, 3) get the fuck out. I chose option 1 so that’s what this review is based on, but I really should have chosen option 3.   

Quality of Dances (11/20) – My lap dance was actually fairly decent, with some solid grinding and a little over-the-pants mouth action, but it wasn’t anything special and wasn’t nearly as good as you’ll find down the road at the Filly Corral.

Quality of Dancers (4/10) - I don’t feel bad making generalizations about a group of dancers, but I really don’t want to rip an individual girl, so I’ll just say that the one I saw wasn’t bad looking, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see her. 

Number of Dancers (0.5/10) – Even for the day shift, one girl working the front desk and no girls working the club is unacceptable.

Variety of Dancers (0/5) – It’s not really fair of me to say they have no variety since I only saw one girl, but that’s the price they pay for only having one dancer working. Regardless, I’d be shocked if they ever have any non-white dancers (or customers) in this backwoods joint.

Attitudes (1/10) – I was already put off by the girl asking what kind of dance I wanted at the front desk, but her asking for a tip before the lap dance even started was the deal breaker.

Value (4/10) – It’s not a bad value if you just want to drink some beer and watch the stage if there’s actually someone on the stage, but $30 for lap dances (3 for $70 if you want the bulk discount) and $100 for 15 minutes of VIP dances aren’t great values, and those were the only options while I was there. 

Club Setup (0/10) – This is yet another category that I can’t fairly rate, but I didn’t get to see the main part of the club, so fuck ‘em.

Dance Setup (6/10) – Dances are given on old, uncomfortable couches in booths down a brightly lit hallway in the back of the club.  Although they don’t close the curtains for the regular dances, no one will be able to see you unless they happen to be walking to their own dances, but I assume doesn’t happen all that often.

Atmosphere (1/10) – Alcohol makes everything better, so the free beer is worth a point. This place is a dump though.

Location (0.5/5) – The club is right off of exit 53 of I-70 in Yukon, Pennsylvania about 45 minutes outside of Pittsburgh.  It’s only a few miles from the vastly superior Filly Corral and a Flying J travel plaza, but there’s really nothing else in the area that you’d want to visit.  The one nice thing is that they have plenty of parking, but that’s in a pothole filled gravel parking lot where you’re probably not going to want to take a nice car even if you inexplicably would otherwise want to visit this shithole.  

Overall – Even though I’m sure I didn’t see Hi-Way Playground at it’s best, I feel confident in saying that it’s almost certainly a really bad club no matter when you visit. Even if it were mediocre, though, it still wouldn’t be worth visiting since one of Pennyslvania’s best clubs, the Filly Corral, is just 2 exits down I-70. Just do yourself a favor and don't go here. 

RAW SCORE = 28

Flight Club (Inkster, MI)

Quality of Dances (18/20) – Only in Detroit do you find dances this good in such a classy club. The songs are long and you’re pretty much guaranteed to get an excellent grind and at least moderate hand or mouth action over the pants, and much more is available if you’re willing to spend a few hundred dollars.

Quality of Dancers (9/10) – These are definitely some of Detroit’s finest. Pretty much every dancer in here is at least a 7, and most of them are in the 8-9 range.

Number of Dancers (8/10) – There are usually at least 4 girls on stage at a time, and several more are always working the crowd.  Even when they’re busy, they have plenty of ladies to make sure that everyone gets some attention.

Variety of Dancers (1/5) – I saw a few thin black girls and a few slightly curvier white girls, but the vast majority of dancers were thin (some way too thin, in my opinion) and white. The lack of variety would normally be a big strike against a club for me, but these ladies were so fine that I didn’t really mind.

Attitudes (3.5/10) – The attitudes are about what you’d expect from such attractive girls with lots of hustling and big money expectations, but they’re mostly friendly enough if you’re willing to play their games and spend some cash.

Value (2/10) – The $7 valet parking fee was ridiculous even if you park yourself (I do not hand over the keys to my motorcycle), and the $15 cover and $8.75 beers are too expensive, but the dances aren’t a bad value at $25 each plus a tip to the bouncer each time you go back, and the stage show is pretty solid.

Club Setup (6/10) – This is a really nice looking, well-lit club with a long main stage with 3 poles, and a nice bar with a bar-top stage. Unfortunately, other seating is limited since they have reserved booths along the outside of the club, the upstairs is wasted and there are only a few small tables scattered along one side of the stage.

Dance Setup (10/10) – You get your dance on a very comfortable chair in an area that’s surrounded by a thick curtain that prevents anyone from seeing you, and there don’t appear to be any cameras monitoring the action. You really won’t find a better dance setup than this.

Atmosphere (7/10) – This is a classy club that can be slightly uptight (note to this club and every other club that has women in gowns: guys don’t like that), but it’s still a fun, safe place to hangout. If they’d turn down the music slightly and tell the shot girl to be a little less pushy, it would be even better, but I’ve still always enjoyed my time at the Flight Club.

Location (2.5/5) – It’s not too far from the airport, is right across the street from Bogart’s and not too far from a few other worthwhile clubs, and it seems to be in a safe enough area, but you’re going to have to drive there since there are no hotel options in the immediate vicinity.

Overall – I really like the Flight Club. It’s not cheap and probably isn’t somewhere that you’re going to be visiting often if you live in Detroit, but it’s hard to resist a safe, clean club with drop dead gorgeous dancers who give amazing lap dances.

RAW SCORE = 67

Bogart's Lounge (Inkster, MI)

Quality of Dances (20/20) – The dances at Bogart’s are amazing, and if you want more than a dance, it’s very much available. That’s about all that I can say without giving too much away, but you’ll be able to find whatever you’re looking for at Bogart’s.

Quality of Dancers (4.5/10) – There’s a huge variation in girls at Bogart’s, but most of them are varying degrees of mediocre, though I find the top end girls here to be slightly better than at the nearby Henry the VIII. Just don’t come here expecting to find Flight Club quality girls, because most if not all of them are several steps below that. 

Number of Dancers (4.5/10) – You can expect to find somewhere around a dozen women working on weekend evenings, which is sufficient since it’s a fairly small club, but you may have to wait for a while if you’ve got your eye on one of the more attractive ladies. 

Variety of Dancers (2/5) – There’s plenty of size variety at Bogart’s, and, even though you probably won’t find many Asian or Latina dancers, the mix of white and black dancers is enough to keep things interesting.

Attitudes (6/10) – Some ladies might try to upsell, but they’re mostly very friendly and happy to invest a few minutes sitting and chatting before seeing if you’re interested in buying some dances. It’s a neighborhood type of place, but they made me feel welcome from the time I walked in even as an outsider.

Value (7.5/10) – The cover is only $5, beers are $6.75, and you need to buy a $10 wristband if you want dances, but the value really turns on whether you want regular dances or something extra. At $20 each, these dances are a good value, but the prices for extras are the real bargain if you’re interested in that.  

Club Setup (3/10) – This is a fairly small, shitty club. There’s a stage in the center of the room and a few tables around it, but most people seem to hang out at the decent sized bar in the back of the room. If I’m in Bogart’s, though, I’ll most likely be spending the majority of my time in the dance booths.

Dance Setup (6/10) – Dances are given in booths up a few steps off to the side of the club and there are curtains on the booths, so you have enough privacy to do whatever you want to do. Despite the uncomfortable chairs, I’d normally have rated this a 7, but I had to dock them a point because the booths are a little less than sanitary, as evidenced by the fact that a dancer had to warn me not to slip in a pool of semen on the floor.

Atmosphere (4/10) – Though it’s fairly close to the airport, Bogart’s really feels like a neighborhood type of place. It’s a little more upbeat than you’d expect and has a fairly decent vibe if you want to spend a little time there, but it’s definitely a place that guys come to come more than to hangout.

Location (2.5/5) – It’s not too far from the airport, is right across the street from the Flight Club and not too far from a few other worthwhile clubs, and it seems to be in a safe enough area, but you’re going to have to drive there since there are no hotel options in the immediate vicinity.

Overall – I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I love Bogart’s, but if you’re looking for amazing dances and cheap extras, you should be pleased with it. It’s not one of the classier clubs I’ve been to, but if you do go there and find that it’s a little too shady for you, it’s easy enough to change venues to the Flight Club, which is just a minute down the road.

RAW SCORE = 60

The Men's Club (Dallas, TX)

Quality of Dances (10.5/20) – The Dallas clubs all seem to have a huge variation from one girl to the next, and the Men’s Club is no exception.  I’d rate a good dance here at around a 13 and a bad dance at around an 8, but you’ll mostly get some decent contact and are usually allowed to touch anywhere except the area that’s covered by their bikini bottoms.   I was told that the no-fabric rule is relaxed if you go to the VIP area, but the grinding is usually good enough during the regular dances that I wasn’t too tempted to upgrade.

Quality of Dancers (9/10) – Pretty much every woman I saw in here was either very hot or absolutely stunning.  Other than a higher than average percentage of girls with implants, I had no complaints. 

Number of Dancers (8.5/10) – I haven’t been here during the day, so I can’t speak to that, but they had a few dozen women working at night and everyone who wanted attention got it. 

Variety of Dancers (2/5) – Most of the workforce is white, but I did see a few black girls and a few Asians, and there were some slightly curvier girls who were very attractive as well.  They weren’t quite big enough to be described as thick, but they were definitely soft enough to feel great during the dances. 

Attitudes (5.5/10) – You can expect some hustle and some well-practiced lines to try to push you towards the VIP area, but most of the ladies do sit and chat and are generally pretty friendly.

Value (3/10) – The $20 cover is pretty rough and you’ll have to budget a few bucks to the valet guy, but things aren’t too bad on the inside unless you want to drop $150 to go to the VIP area.  Beers are $6.50 and dances are very reasonable at $20 each since they play fairly long songs.

Club Setup (9/10) – This is a very large, classy club with a lot of tables and the most comfortable strip club chairs ever. The two stages in the main area and the one in the back aren’t overly large and don’t have poles, but they are nice and have some impressive smoke effects.  Between the smoke and the high-backed chairs, there’s almost an illusion that the girls on stage are floating up there.  If you’re willing to spend $150 to go to the VIP area, it’s ridiculously nice, with a swimming pool and a hot tub for you to enjoy with the dancers.

Dance Setup (1/10) – Dances are given in a raised area in the back of the club on a very long bench along the wall.  There are some pillows thrown around on the bench and it’s long enough that you shouldn’t be directly next to anyone, but there are no dividers and there are a bunch of tables and chairs in that area where guys who aren’t getting dances can sit, so there’s no real privacy.

Atmosphere (8/10) – I usually don’t love places that are this classy, but the Men’s Club manages to pull of the upscale vibe while still being somewhat relaxed and a lot of fun. For a night out with business associates or your more mature friends, you really couldn’t do much better. 

Location (4/5) – The Men’s club is right beside a hotel and is within walking distance of Baby Dolls and a Waffle House, so it’s a pretty good location even though it’s fairly far to the northwest of downtown Dallas. 

Overall – The Men’s Club isn’t worth going too far out of your way for, but it is a very solid club that you should be able to have a good time at.  Whether you prefer it over the nearby Baby Dolls will come down to what kind of club you’re looking for, but they’re about equally good overall.  Baby Dolls has more dancers, lower prices and a more of a party atmosphere, but The Men’s Club has better dances, slightly hotter women and is classier.  If you don’t have a big preference either way, I recommend starting your night at The Men’s Club while you’re still sober, then heading over to Baby Dolls once you’ve had a few.   

RAW SCORE = 60.5