Foxy Lady Brockton (Brockton, MA)

Quality of dances (4/20) – Don’t be confused by the girls telling you that “You can touch upstairs, but not downstairs.” As Zo found out, they don’t mean that you can touch the tits but not the puss. Sadly, they’re being literal - you’ll get a worthwhile dance in the VIP rooms upstairs if you’re willing to blow some serious cash, but you won’t get any 2-way action during the regular dances downstairs. These aren’t air dances, but they aren’t a whole lot better.

Quality of dancers (8/10) – There are some stunning women here, but there are also a few that have passed their prime. Overall, my biggest complaint about the women is that there are a few too many implants, but there are still plenty of natural girls working on any given night.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – If all of the girls who are working were actually circulating the club, this could be an 8 or a 9, but most of the dancers only leave the dressing room during the 2-for-1 special lineups. Still, there’s usually a girl on both stages and several dancers and massage girls working the crowd.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (2/5) – There seems to be more variety among the massage girls than with the dancers, but there is still a good variation of body types and ages among the mostly-white dancers.

Attitude of dancers (4.5/10) – Because there are so many dancers, you’re certain to meet a few friendly ones on almost every visit. For the same reason, you’re also certain to meet a few who think they’re god’s gift to men. We’d bump them up a few points if the girls came out of the dressing room more often, but the fact that they stay back there shows that they aren’t particularly interested in interacting with the guests.

Value (3/10) – It will set you back $6 to get in during the day and $12 at night, and drinks start at $6. The dances are $20, but no one pays that since they’re just waiting for the “2-for-1s,” which are actually 2 dances and a Boston sports team t-shirt for $30. Sometimes they throw in free admission coupons, but they’re only good for a few days, so that isn’t a huge help unless you’re a regular. If you’re not a fan of Boston sports (or you just don’t want a cheap t-shirt), you can follow Zo’s lead and sell the shirts on e-Bay for around $5, making the dances effectively 2 for $25.

Dance Setup (1.5/10) – You go down a few steps from the main area of the club to get dances under the stage, but there are no partitions and no privacy. Everyone gets dances when they do two-for-ones, so the area gets packed and you’ll be sitting beside 2 guys and looking right at a few more.

Club Setup (7.5/10) – The club could use a few dark corners, but other than that, the setup is excellent. There’s plenty of seating at the two stages, the bar’s fairly large, and there are more than enough tables to accommodate groups. This score would have been even higher but for the fact that the stages don't have poles, which struck me as a little strange.

Club Atmosphere (6/10) – Foxy Lady is definitely more gentlemen’s club than titty bar, and it has all the good and the bad that comes along with that. It’s not a great place to stop for a beer or a dance, but it’s not bad if you’re looking to relax and take in the sights for a little while. Also, there are always several massage girls working, and they're usually as hot as any of the dancers.

Club Accessibility (1.5/5) – They get points for having plenty of parking in what feels like a safe area, but it’s not particularly close to anything. When your best justification for visiting a club is that it’s sortof on the way back from Wal-Mart, that isn’t a good thing.

Overall – This is one of the “classiest” clubs in the state, but as with the other Massachusetts clubs that have invested any cash in their establishments, they aren’t willing to risk their license by making their dances worthwhile. Even with the bad dances, this is probably the best safe strip club in the greater Boston area. Overall, I’d say the Foxy Lady Brockton is worth going to if you don’t care about dances, but it probably isn’t worth it if looking isn’t enough for you.

TOTAL SCORE = 45