Keystone Cafe (Bridgeport, CT)

The Keystone Cafe (also known as Shaker's) was the temporary home to many of the Pleasant Moments girls for much of 2011, but now that Pleasant Moments is open again, the Keystone Cafe has gone downhill drastically.  

Quality of Dances (15/20) - You'll get full two-way contact and plenty of grinding during these lapdances, but if you're looking for more than a dance, it's no longer available since they've shut down the private rooms.  Several girls initiated discussions about meeting outside the club for a relatively small fee and I wouldn't be surprised if they reopen the private rooms eventually, but I won't be re-visiting this club any time soon to find out.  The bottom line is that, even though the dances are decent, the girls are so unattractive that you shouldn't bother with them whether or not you can find girls who are willing to do more than that.  

Quality of Dancers (0/10) – I don't think I've ever given a club a goose egg for dancer quality, but when I'm wishing that the girls were giving airdances just because I'd rather that they not touch me, that's a bad sign.  I haven't seen a single girl that I'd rate above a 3 since Pleasant Moments reopened.  

Number of Dancers (1.5/10) – Even without many customers, it's unacceptable to only have one dancer working, as they did during one of my recent visits.  And when they do have more dancers, it still doesn't help matters too much since none of them are attractive.  

Variety of Dancers (1/5) – The was a decent mix of black and Latina dancers here when Pleasant Moments was temporarily closed, but most of the Latinas have migrated back there now that it's reopened, so this is almost exclusively a black club now.  When it's done right (as it is in Atlanta), I love black clubs, but this one certainly isn't done right.  

Attitudes (4/10) – A lot of these ladies are desperate, so they'll act really friendly for a while, but they don't take "no" for an answer once they start the sales pitch.  I've ended up feeling bad for them and buying pity dances, but you'd be better off avoiding the situation altogether by not coming to the Keystone Cafe.   

Value (8.5/10) – There's no cover, bottles of Heineken are only $2.75 and dances are a solid value at $20 each.  There's usually no stage show, but I can overlook that since beers are no more expensive than they'd be at a regular bar.  

Club Setup (1/10) – This place is a dump. The bar takes up most of the main room, leaving little room for a stage in the back.  There’s a much larger stage is a spacious second room that I assume is used when they’re busy, but I've never seen anyone over there.

Dance Setup (5.5/10) – The barely converted bathroom that was being used as a private lap dance room is no longer in use, so you now get lap dances in a small curtained off area in a brightly lit corner of the club.  There are two chairs and a couch in there, so you'll have no privacy if there's more than one person getting dances at a time, but that usually won't be the case. so you should be alone.    

Atmosphere (0/10) – If the girls don’t feed the jukebox, the music doesn’t play, so you might end up awkwardly sitting around watching whatever weird TV show the bouncer feels like putting on.  It actually doesn’t seem too dangerous by Bridgeport standards, but you'll probably get some suspicious looks from the regulars upon arrival and I can’t imagine ever wanting to hang out here, especially late at night.

Location (0.5/5) – The Keystone Cafe is in downtown Bridgeport, but you’re on full display to a busy street when you walk in the door and I was less than confident that my car would be waiting for me when I left.

Overall – The Keystone Cafe aka Shaker’s is a shitty club that you shouldn’t even consider visiting.  While their private room was open and Pleasant Moments was closed, it was maybe worth a considering if you were looking discounted brothel services in a strip club setting, but it's not even an option for that anymore.  I can't imagine that this place will stay in business for long because they really have nothing to offer at this point.   

RAW SCORE = 37

Ruby's II (Bridgeport, CT)

Quality of Dances (13/20) - The dances are nude and the girls make decent contact with you and most of them are fine with varying degrees of 2 way contact. There are big signs all over the club saying "No physical contact with the dancers," so you probably shouldn't assume that it's okay to grab a handful of titty, but I haven't found a girl here who seemed to mind when my hands slowly moved in that general direction. Some of these girls indicate that they'll get the job done if you stick around for several songs, but I've never gotten a dance from a girl hot enough to tempt me to take them up on those offers.

Quality of Dancers (4.5/10) - A lot of these ladies are on the older side, and you really won't find many stunning dancers here, but the majority of white girls are fairly attractive in a girl-next-door sort of way. Many of the Latinas are a little more sloppy, but they're still Latinas, so you know I won't complain too much.

Number of Dancers (4/10) - There are a decent number of girls here during peak hours on peak days, but any time other than that and it can be a little sparse. By closing time on weekends, it's really thinned out. I can understand that at clubs that close at 3 am, but there's really no excuse for girls to leave early when the club closes at 1. And early in the week, it's pretty bad regardless of what time you go.

Variety/Diversity of dDancers (3/5) - You'll find plenty of white girls and Brazilians, but there's a surprising lack of black dancers given the location.

Attitude of Dancers (7.5/10) - The girls should be more interested in getting people to get dances, but they were all friendly once I got their attention and I've never seen women look so appreciative for even small tips. You're pretty much guaranteed to get a face full of tits if you sit at the stage, and one time when I put a single on the stage and walked away, you'd have thought Nelly had just slid his credit card through the girl's ass.

Value (6/10) - $5 cover and $20 dances seem to be slightly less than at most clubs in the area, and it's BYOB with a small fee for them to hold onto your drinks. If you're just passing through town, and I hope for your sake that you are, BYOB doesn't really help that much. The signs say there's a 3 drink minimum, but that doesn't seem to be strictly enforced.

Dance Setup (2.5/10) - There are booths, but they're made of lattice fencing, so they're basically useless. Anyone who is in this part of the club can see right in.

Club Setup (3.5/10) - There's a large bar in one section, a fairly small stage in the next section, and a few pool tables near the far wall. Even though they need more seats in the stage section of the club, this place seems like it could have been pretty decent at some point. Unfortunately, it's pretty run down now.

Club Atmosphere (1/10) - Ruby's is definitely more bar than gentleman's club, which is a problem since they don't serve alcohol. And the Hell's Angels at the bar, the tough guys standing by the pool tables, the country music, and the signs saying "If you're not drinking, you're loitering" don't really add to the atmosphere.

Club Accessibility (1/5) - I can't imagine anyone wanting to stay in this area for long, but it is easily accessible from I-95. The neighborhood isn't great, but it's not terrible and they have a private parking lot where your car should be safe.

Overall - I've been told that you can have a lot of fun with a few of the girls here, and there are plenty of people who really like this place - I'm just not one of them. It might be a decent option if you're looking for a Bridgeport club that's a compromise between the places with really tame lap dances (Scruples) and the places that are ridiculously shady (Bishop's Corner), but a club really has to blow me away to make up for a lack of alcohol, and Ruby's II doesn't.

TOTAL SCORE = 46

Pleasant Moments (Bridgeport, CT)

UPDATE: Pleasant Moments was closed for much of 2011, but it's now open again and is the same as ever.

Quality of Dances (17/20) – I hate to implicate a club in illegal activities, so I'll start this off by saying that not every girl offered extras (maybe they would have if I'd talked to them, but who can be sure?) and I didn't see any signs that the bartender or bouncer knew about or condoned what the girls were offering.  Plus, they have a sign in the bathroom reminding customers that they'll be asked to leave if they're caught doing drugs, so you know the club is on the up and up.  Having said that, several girls were shocked to find out that I actually wanted a dance since I guess not many customers at Pleasant Moments are looking for that.  Still, they all gave a good effort and were happy to do as much or as little as I wanted them to.  The one girl was even apologetic for her less than skilled dance moves, saying, "sorry, I don't not how to dance to this Spanish music - I usually just suck dick to it."  I had to knock them down a few points because the high chairs can make the contact awkward (more on that below), but these are still great dances.  

Quality of Dancers (2/10) – I've seen a few really hot girls and a lot of not so hot girls, but just about everyone in this place looks a little worn out.  Still, I've always managed to find at least one girl worth getting a dance from on any given night, and if you're into thick girls, you should find a lot more than that.

Number of Dancers (3/10) – Pleasant Moments isn't a large club, but there usually aren't more than about 2 customers for every dancer except on weekend nights, so you won't have any problem getting one for a dance.  Unfortunately, the number of dancers is usually in the single digits, and the number of hot dancers is usually in the low single digits, so you might have a hard time finding one you like.  Or, worse yet, you may have to wait for a girl that you like to finish up a dance with another customer, and considering what goes on during many of the "dances," that can be fairly disconcerting.  

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3/5) – They have thick, thin, black, and Latina dancers, but you're pretty much out of luck if you're into white ladies.  There is one who's there most of the time, but I just can't bring myself to get a dance from someone who I know has spent too much time in this place.  

Attitude of Dancers (5.5/10) – A few of the ladies are a little strung out (I guess they missed the "no drugs allowed" sign), but they're actually very friendly for the most part.  The combination of friendly girls and the aggressive dances means that I've never had an easier time turning girls down.  If you just say, "sorry, I just had one," almost all of the ladies will say something along the lines of, "ooohhhh, maybe in a half hour or so, then?"  The closest that I got to a bad attitude was one girl who pissily asked me, "what am i supposed to do with these tissues if we're not fucking?"  My question is, what were you going to do with those tissues if we were fucking?  Personally, I'd prefer a condom.  Also, unsurprisingly, this place has had some issues with the Bridgeport Police Department, so if you're white and are dressed in business apparel, you better be seen drinking alcohol the second you walk in, or the girls will disappear.  I don't usually drink water in clubs, but I made an exception here because I figured the bottles would be the cleanest things the place.  Only one girl approached me until I switched to beer, then it was open season. 

Value (6.5/10) – The cover charge is $5, Coronas are $5.50 (that's all anyone drinks) and the stage value is off the charts if you're the kind of guy who likes to grope a girl out in the open.  The real value though comes from the lapdances, which are about the most contact you'll ever get for $20.  And if you're looking for a "dance" rather than a dance, that's a disturbingly cheap $60 from most of the ladies.  

Dance Setup (7/10) –  Dances are given in individual tiny rooms with doors that close and lock.  The only real downsides are the sticky floors and the uncomforable stools that you know people fuck on.  They're just too high off the floor for a proper lapdance, though I imagine that they're not coincidentally the perfect height for using to bend someone over.   

Club Setup (0/10) – This place is a shithole.  There's a large bar with a decent view of the shitty eye-level stage, then there's a raised area off to the side where there are a few stage-side seats and 2 pool tables.  I enjoyed that they have ice in the urinals because few things are more fun that melting that while drunk, but if a ghetto way to save money on urinal cakes is the highlight of a club, that's a bad sign. 

Club Atmosphere (0/10) – If you feel a need to remind customers that drugs are not allowed, you know there are some shady characters around.  I've surprisingly never felt that I was in danger while in Pleasant Moments, but that's primarily due to the fact that everyone is thoroughly patted down upon entering the club.  Still, the shady atmosphere and the constant questions about whether I'm a cop add up to a poor atmosphere, but I doubt that even this club's biggest fans really enjoy hanging out here.  You come here to cum here, and that's about it.  

Club Accessibility (1.5/5) – I don't know my way around Bridgeport enough to say whether there are mass transit options, but you'd probably want to be able to get out of here at a moment's notice anyway, so you'll be driving to Pleasant Moments. It isn't in a great neighborhood, but at least you can park close enough to the club that you shouldn't really need to worry about your car.  

Overall – I'm all about aggressive lap dances, but Pleasant Moments is just too dirty, literally and figuratively, to justify me stopping by.  If you're interested in more than dances, that may change the equation for you, but you should definitely be careful with this place.  Police busted the club in late 2010 and both dancers and customers were arrested, so I have to think it's only a matter of time until it's raided again or shut down permanently.  

RAW SCORE = 45.5

George's (Bridgeport, CT)

Quality of Dances (0/20) – If you're going to risk your life to visit a dangerous club in the middle of the ghetto on Iranistan Avenue, that club better have some amazing lapdances. Not only does George's not have amazing lapdances - they have no lapdances. Based on that alone, you should never go here.  I'll keep writing in case you're curious, but there's really no point to the rest of this.  Don't go to George's!

Quality of Dancers (2/10) – The only girl that I saw here on my lone visit could have been a model in the Latina version of a Lane Bryant catalogue.  She had a hot face and would be absolutely blazing if she lost 60 pounds, but as is, she won't really do it for most guys.  I like a little something to grab onto during a lap dance, but again, there are no dances, so it's all about the looks here.  And 60 extra pounds don't look good.

Number of Dancers (1/10) – The lady who was working when I visited George's only spent a very small fraction of the time dancing.  For the most part, she just sat and chatted with a single customer.  In fairness to the club, there's no way in hell that I was going to this place at night, so I was there during the day shift, but one girl is not acceptable if a club is open for business.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (0/5) – With only one girl working, obviously there was no diversity, and something tells me that all of the dancers would have been Latina or black and fairly large anyway. That "something" is experience with Bridgeport clubs.  You're just not going to find many girl next door types in the Bridgeport dive clubs unless you live next door to a weight loss clinic in the ghetto.

Attitude of Dancers (6/10) – This isn't a terribly useful rating since it's only based on one girl, but like I said above, you shouldn't even be reading this far.  In case you are, the girl that was working was reasonably friendly and very apologetic/confused about the lack of dances.

Value (6/10) – There's no cover, so the 2 drink minimum with $4.50 beers is reasonable.  If you're lucky enough to see a girl on stage, the action is adequate, but I wouldn't count on getting to witness that unless you're willing to hang out for a while.

Dance Setup (0/10) – No dances equals no dance setup.

Club Setup (1/10) – George's has 2 pool tables, paint peeling off the walls, a cigarette machine (who knew they even still make those?), a large bar that takes up most of the club and a shitty narrow stage along the right side wall.  Basically, this place is a dump.  And if the main room isn't bad enough for you, the terrible bathroom has a urinal located exactly where a civilized person would stand to wash their hands.  Luckily, I doubt that George's gets many of those types stopping by.

Club Atmosphere (0/10) – They have a sign on the wall that reads, "What you see, what you hear, when you leave, leave it here," which is really just a slightly more elegantly worded version of "Stop Snitchin'".  So that should tell you all that you really need to know about the atmosphere. You'll never really feel safe in here, and based on the cameras pointing outward, your car won't be either.  The one positive is that they have good mariache music playing most of the time (seriously, this wasn't the Reggaeton that you hear in clubs; it was the Mariachi music that you hear in a good mexican restaurant), but when the girl came out on stage, it inexplicably changed to the Bee Gee's.

Club Accessibility (0.5/5) – There's parking across the street, but this is a bad neighborhood that I would advise you to stay away from.

Overall – George's is not worth a visit under any circumstances. Risking your life for a good club is questionable, but risking it for this dump is just begging to become a Darwin Award winner.

TOTAL SCORE = 16.5

Scruples (Bridgeport. CT)

Quality of dances (8/20) – You'll get some decent grind action here, but two way contact is not encouraged and, with a bouncer closely monitoring the action, it isn't the type of place where you'll want to push your luck.  Considering the things that go on in some of the other Bridgeport clubs, Scruples needs to step their game up, because "decent" just isn't good enough to compete.    

Quality of dancers (7.5/10) –  There's a lot of variation from night to night, but I've seen plenty of 8s in here, and it's very rare to see anyone below a 5 or a 6.  The top end girls aren't all that much better than in most other Connecticut clubs, but the quality control seems to be significantly above average.      

Number of Dancers (6.5/10) – This place can be packed with both dancers and customers on weekend nights.  Though the ratio of dancers to customers isn't always great, there are usually enough girls to choose from so that you shouldn't have to wait too long to get someone's attention for a dance.  That's particularly true if, as is often the case, one of the other clubs in the area is shut down due to legal troubles.          

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2.5/5) – There's a nice mix of fit white and Latina dancers, but I've been surprised by the relative lack of black dancers and big asses.      

Attitude of Dancers (3/10) – These girls are hot, but a lot of them think that they're hotter than they are.  It's not that they're nasty, but they just aren't all that inviting either.   

Value (3.5/10) – The $8 cover on weekend nights seems a little on the high side, the mediocre dances are $20 each and cans of beer are $4 each.  They have bottles of beer as well, but I can never pass up the opportunity to guzzle a few cans of beer in a strip club, so I'm not sure of the price for them.  Like all Connecticut clubs that serve alcohol, this place is topless, but I never feel like my dollar bills are well spent at the Scruples stage.    

Dance Setup (1.5/10) –  The owners of this place seem to have more invested in the club than do a lot of the other Bridgeport club owners, and the dance setup is designed to make sure that nothing happens that will cost them their club.  That's logical from a business perspective, but it's unfortunate for us customers.  All of the dances are given in a small sectioned off area in the back of the club where a bouncer watches everything.   The chairs are attached as if they were all part of a bench, but arm rests thankfully separate customers from each other.  The dance setup is really the main reason that I haven't spent a whole lot of time in this club. 

Club Setup (3/10) – There's a massage chair, a huge bar and a long stage, but the stage isn't placed at a logical angle and there are barely any tables. Worst of all, the club is way too bright, so you (or at least I) feel kind of creepy sitting at the stage staring at a girl.  Unfortunately, thanks to the odd angle of the stage, you don't really have any other option if you want a decent view of the action. 

Club Atmosphere (5.5/10) – The atmosphere at Scruples isn't bad at all by Bridgeport standards.  When I've been here, the crowd has been mostly small groups of guys who are stopping by on their way home from work.  The lack of tables prevents it from being great for larger groups and I probably wouldn't go here for a night out, but it has a nice relaxed vibe that makes it a decent option if you're looking for a place to enjoy a beer or two.     
 
Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – The neighborhood isn't the greatest, but it's not terrible for Bridgeport and the parking lot is monitored.  There's no fee for parking, though tips to the parking lot attendant are always appreciated.

Overall – This is one of the cleaner Bridgeport clubs and really isn't bad overall, but the dance setup and the dance quality will need to improve for me to ever make this one of my regular stops.  Unfortunately, I don't imagine that will be happening anytime soon.     

TOTAL SCORE = 44.5

Mystique Gentlemen's Club (Bridgeport, CT)

Quality of Dances (8/20) – Given the location (both the city and the part of the club), I expected these dances to be amazing. They weren't bad, but they didn't live up to my lofty expectations and were about as tame as I've had in Bridgeport. You'll probably get a decent grind from the dancer's ass or knee, but two-way contact does not seem to be encouraged.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – The sample size is fairly small since I don't get to this area all that often, but the girls here are the best that I've seen in Bridgeport. Almost all of them are attractive and reasonably young, and I have yet to see a girl who I'd go out of my way to avoid.

Number of Dancers (6/10) – They have a decent number of dancers and the ratio has always been pretty solid in my experience. If you're looking for a girl for a dance or for some conversation, you should be in luck.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (3/5) – I've seen a good variety of body types and a mix of black and white dancers, with a lot of eastern Europeans. My only complaint is that I'd like to see some more Latinas in the mix, but if you're into the thicker girls that you'll find at a lot of the Bridgeport clubs, you may be a little disappointed.

Attitude of dancers (4.5/10) – Most of the girls are fairly friendly, though some are even more chatty that I'd like, with one girl in particular trying to convince me to help her sell the worst movie plot of all time to a studio. For the record, I have nothing to do with the movie industry, and based on her plot idea, this girl won't either. Or at least she'll never be in the kind of movies that have plots. A few of the girls just sit together in a corner of the club and don't really mix with customers, but overall, the attitudes aren't good enough to draw in customers or bad enough to keep them away.

Value (3.5/10) – The prices at Mystique are fairly standard for Connecticut. On a Friday evening, I paid a $5 cover, $4 for a beer and $20 for a solid but unspectacular dance. Because of the setup at the stage, you may feel a need to tip the dancers while you're sitting at the bar, which is unfortunate if you usually avoid spending money at the stage so that you have more for dances.

Dance Setup (2/10) – Dances are given in a separate room with its own unused stage. You sit on an uncomfortable individual bench style couch that forces you to recline somewhat, but there are no barriers in the room. As long as you're the only one getting a dance, it isn't too bad, but it's less than ideal if anyone else is back there.

Club Setup (2.5/10) – The club has a few small 2 person tables, but almost everyone sits around the horseshoe shaped bar that has an interior stage several feet away. You're too far from the stage to interact with the girls while they're dancing, and to give a tip, you have to throw wadded up $1s at the dancer. It's a good thing this club isn't in Canada, because you'd take someone's eye out if you tried that shit with a loonie.

Club Atmosphere (5.5/10) – There's a pretty good vibe in here, especially considering that it's in Bridgeport. The stage setup makes no sense, but it does contribute to a fun atmosphere if the drinks are flowing.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – I wouldn't exactly say that this is a good neighborhood, but by Bridgeport standards, it isn't bad at all. Despite there not being a whole lot of available parking, I've never had a problem finding a spot.

Overall – There are better options in the area for aggressive dances, but Mystique isn't a bad choice if you're in Bridgeport and are hoping to see some attractive topless women, and it's a particularly good choice if getting out alive and disease-free is a priority for you.

TOTAL SCORE = 46