Deja Vu (City of Industry, CA)

Quality of Dances (14/20) – Just like at the other big City of Industry clubs, the lap dances are very nice with full two-way contact and enough of a grind to help the girls segue into their VIP sales pitch.  Back there, different girls have different limits (one was apologetic for only offering to lend a helping hand even though I hadn’t indicated that I wanted anything more than a lap dance), but you should be able to find someone who is willing to do whatever it is that you’re looking to have done.  It won’t be cheap and there will be some upsell if you agree to go to the VIP before you clearly agree to specific services for a specific amount of money, but that’s true everyone and isn’t nearly as bad here as it is at the Spearmint Rhino.  

Quality of Dancers (5.5/10) – A lot of these ladies are a little rough around the edges.  Most of them are passable but unspectacular and a few are just sloppy, but I’ve seen at least one stunner and a few pretty good girls during each of my visits.  As long as you’re patient, you shouldn’t have a major problem finding a few girls who are more than worthy of your dance money. 

Number of Dancers (8/10) – For a fairly small club, they have a ton of dancers, with more than two dozen lining up for the 2-4-1 cattle calls.  Unfortunately, that’s the only time that you’ll see them all since a large percentage of them is either in the dressing room or off giving dances, but there are still more than enough to choose from.

Variety of Dancers (5/5) – I couldn’t ask for any more from a club.  During my first night there I saw Asian chicks, white chicks, black chicks, Latina chicks, young chicks, old chicks, skinny chicks, chubby chicks and possibly even a chick who was born with a dick.  I can’t confirm that last one though. 

Attitudes (4/10) – The girls rarely sit with guys to chat and the “wannadance?” routine can get old quickly, but most of them are pretty friendly once you do get dances. Plus, the attitudes are significantly less important here than they are at any other club (other than a few other CA Deja Vu location), because they have no way to rip you off during the dances.  For the dances, you have to insert your money into a machine that counts down until the money is gone, then the light changes red and your dance is over.  If it’s a 2-4-1 or some other kind of special, the machine calculates that, so the girls couldn’t miscount dances if they tried.  Of course, they could still give shitty dances or not deliver on promised services, but that hasn’t been my experience at all.     

Value (8/10) – The $20 cover is steep, but sodas are free, no one tries to get you to buy sodas for girls and the stage value is excellent.  Shelby, in particular, put on the best stage show I’ve ever seen, with a nice mix of pole acrobatics, floor work and crowd interaction.  Even the pole cleaning routine is turned into a fun little production with the waitresses wearing sexy maid outfits and parading around while wiping it down.  More importantly, though, dances are an excellent value.   The topless version is only $10 each, but since I only had $20s, I just put them into the machine and it calculated the time for me.  If you’re looking for nude dances they’re $40 for some amount of time that’s longer than one song, but I couldn’t get a straight answer from anyone about how long they are.  VIP sessions are $150 for a half hour plus whatever you negotiate with the girls for specific services.  At those rates, everything is a decent deal anyway, but it’s even better if you wait for specials and/or go on the right night, since VIPs are only $100 on Thursdays, dances are 10% longer on Sundays and topless dances are frequently discounted to 3-for-$20. 

Club Setup (4/10) – The club is nice enough, but the circle of chairs lined up around the room is a little awkward.  There are at least a few benches in the back of the club, but there still aren’t enough seats for weekend nights.  The stage does allow for some good shows, though, since the two tall poles are able to rotate, allowing some of the more skilled girls to do some very impressive tricks.   The other thing that I like about the club is that they have a rain making machine that will rain down 19 ones over the stage for every $20 that you enter.  It’s gimmicky, but it’s a fun gimmick, and the girl gets the same out of money that she’d get if you got your ones at the bar since you’d tip a dollar for that anyway.  Unfortunately, the machine was out of order when I was there, but hopefully that was just a temporary problem.  If you’re really curious to try it, the one at the North Hollywood Deja Vu was working, though it’s honestly not cool enough to justify the drive.       

Dance Setup (5.5/10) – You’ll get your own booth for the topless dances, but you should know that these are much smaller than the average lap dance booth.  That’s both a good and a bad thing though.  On the bright side, the walls of the booth are so close to you that no one can really see what you’re up to, but the downside is that big guys might be uncomfortable and no guys will be able to spread their legs to the optimal angle for a proper grind.  The VIP area is much more private, especially in the last room, since the only opening to the large cubicle areas can be blocked with moveable fake trees.  The couches desperately need to be replaced, but they’re comfortable enough for whatever activities you want to do back there.  The dance counting machines are in the VIP area as well as the regular lap dance area, so you can monitor the countdown timer.  It’s based on dollars and cents rather than minutes, but it doesn’t take long to figure out roughly how much time you have left. 

Atmosphere (4/10) – This is another California club that decided that bottomless ladies add more to a strip club experience than booze.  I can’t say that I agree, but there is at least a bar next door where you can down a few beers before heading into the club.  As for the club itself, the seating arrangement makes it less than ideal for large groups and the crowd can be a little rough, but the music is a decent mix of rap and dubstep and, even though he’s incomprehensible, the DJ isn’t too obnoxious.  Overall, but this is a fairly comfortable place to hang out and has as much of a party vibe as an alcohol-free club can have.          

Location (3/5) – The City of Industry isn’t particularly close to anything and there aren’t many hotels in the area, but since you’ll be stone cold sober, it’s not a big deal if you have to drive a half hour to get home, and these clubs are worth the drive.  Deja Vu is only a few minutes away from the very nice Spearmint Rhino and the solid Synn, so the location is perfect for making a night out of hitting the clubs.    

Overall - The City of Industry Deja Vu is my favorite of the clubs that I've been to in California and my favorite of the half dozen Deja Vu clubs that I've been to.  The girls aren't as consistently hot as at the Spearmint Rhino or Synn, but this would be my first stop of the night to see if you can find a girl to your liking for less money than you'd spend at the other places.  

RAW SCORE = 61

Synn (City of Industry, CA)

Quality of Dances (15/20) - Just like at the other two big City of Industry clubs (Deja Vu and the Spearmint Rhino), two way contact is expected and tit groping is encouraged.  Some of the ladies even directed my hand to the bikini zone, and even though that's not something that I'm looking to do in a club, it just shows what good sports these ladies are.  There is some grinding and over the pants rubbing with their hand, but that's more to wake up junior to help with the VIP sales pitch than to actually get you near the edge.  

Quality of Dancers (8/10) – The high end of talent is comparable to the best of the Rhino and the low end is comparable to the worse of Deja Vu.  That’s to say that there’s a huge variation in talent at Synn, but they do a pretty solid job of keeping the best of the best on stage.  The drawback of that is that the lesser girls are the ones who are free to work the crowd. 

Number of Dancers (6.5/10) – They have more than enough dancers, at least on weekend evenings, but I have two complaints here.  First, a large percentage of the girls are hanging out in the dressing room at any given time, so you only see the full lineup when they do their pre-special parades.  Second, there are too many unattractive dancers.  Since the hottest girls are the ones who are usually in the dressing room, you’ll have a parade of nasties asking if you want a dance a few times every song.  They’d be better off trimming the workforce a little because it’s hard to relax the way it is now. 

Variety of Dancers (5/5) – No matter your type, you’ll find it here.  Thin, thick, tall, short, young, old, black, white, Asian, Latina, tattooed, implanted, all natural – it’s all here. 

Attitudes (2/10) – This is one of the big things that drops Synn below Deja Vu and the Spearmint Rhino in my book.  The girls do chat with customers a little bit and seem decent enough, but I had a very tough time getting a straight answer on dance prices and half the girls wouldn’t volunteer that there are $20 topless dances in addition to the more expensive nude version.  The worst part, though, is that several girls tried to get away with charging full song prices for half a song.  That’s bad anyway, but was particularly frustrating coming from Deja Vu, where the dance counting machines make it impossible for a girl to rip you off. 

Value (3.5/10) – The $20 cover is rough and only covers one soda.  Sodas are only $2 after that and you probably aren’t trying to load up on Coke anyway, but it’s the principle of the matter.  Dances aren’t bad at $20 for topless or 2-4-$40 for nude, but their specials aren’t as good as at the other local clubs (where you can get 3 for $40) and their VIP prices are ridiculous.  I didn’t try to negotiate, but I kept hearing $250-300 without any promises of what that would get me.  I’m assuming that anything that justifies a trip to the City of Industry would be upsold from there.  The nude stage show is at least solid and not many people tip, so you can stretch your cash if you can manage to fight off the stream of girls who offer you dances. 

Club Setup (4/10) – The stage is both the best and the worst thing about the setup at Synn.  It’s probably the best looking stage I’ve ever seen, with a large marble fountain behind it that is pretty sweet even though it doesn’t work.  The stage lighting is very good too, with the color changing with each song.  The problem is that it’s almost too nice for this place, and it makes the dancer seem to be in a different world.  There are seats at the stage, but they don’t seem to be very popular.  The other seating isn’t anything fancy, but it’s sufficient.  There are a few benches and tiny stools on the main level and there are some tables down a few steps to the level that has the stage, and everyone has a nice view of the stage.  Overall, it isn’t a bad setup, but it does contribute to the less than stellar atmosphere, plus the fact that you have to walk through a porn store to leave is just odd.  

Dance Setup (6/10) – The dance area is a long narrow hallways that’s up a few stairs from the main level of the club.  You’ll get your own reasonably large booth that prevents anyone from seeing you unless they’re walking by, and they’ll only be walking by if they’re on their way to or from their own dances. 

Atmosphere (2.5/10) – It’s hard to explain, but there’s a very cold, impersonal vibe in this place despite the constantly approaching ladies.  I think maybe the stage is too far from the bulk of the crowd and the lack of alcohol doesn’t help matters, but there’s more to it than that.  It’s just not a place that I could see myself hanging out, either with friends or while flying solo. 

Location (3/5) – Synn is practically within walking distance of the Spearmint Rhino and isn’t too far from Deja Vu, but you’re going to have to travel to get there since there aren’t many nearby hotels and no one lives in the area. 

Overall – Synn is a pretty solid club that’s a distant 3^rd in what is essentially a three-club town.  It’s worth a visit if you strike out at the other Industry clubs, but the cold atmosphere and the constant sales pitches from unattractive dancers mean that it would never be my intended destination for a night out. 

RAW SCORE = 53.5

Spearmint Rhino (City of Industry, CA)

This club was personally recommended to me by the Strip Club Hound.  If you haven't checked out his site yet, make sure that you do, because it's a great read.  From the clubs that he's reviewed that I've been to, I can say he's dead on, but his inside perspective as a former club manager is the real reason to visit his site.

Quality of Dances (14/20) – Like at many of the City of Industry clubs, you will get excellent lap dances at the Spearmint Rhino.  Full two-way contact is encouraged, and if you’re shy about it, some of the ladies will move your hands to where they know you want them to be.  The grinding is decent, especially during the nude dances, but the ladies are very careful to keep a little bit of a tease going to try to sell the VIP dances.  Different girls have different limits back there, but your wallet is going to be the biggest limiting factor, because you shouldn’t have a had time finding a girl to give you a good time if you’re willing to give her a few hundred dollars.    

Quality of Dancers (8.5/10) – The girls at the Rhino are beautiful.  As with every Rhino that I’ve been to, there are more implants than I’d like to see, but with faces and bodies like these, I’ll happily overlook that. 

Number of Dancers (7.5/10) – You only get the full experience when they do the 2-4-1 parade since a lot of these ladies hang out in the dressing room except when their regulars stop by, but there are still plenty of ladies to keep all of the customers occupied. 

Variety of Dancers (3.5/5) – They’ve got white, Latina and Asian dancers and a wide range of ages, but you aren’t going to find many black or thicker dancers at this Spearmint Rhino.  Or any Spearmint Rhino, for that matter. 

Attitudes (6.5/10) – These ladies are hustlers, but it’s the good kind of hustling where they really seem genuine while pumping up your ego.  It was so impressive that I even decided to test them by talking about something that I knew they wouldn't be interested in just to see if they could keep up, and they did with flying colors.  If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought these ladies were genuinely interested in how many points Jarome Iginla is going to score for the Calgary Flames this year. Most if not all of the ego boosting is obviously bullshit, but that’s what customer service is all about, and the ladies know that it’s also the best way to empty your wallet.  What I really appreciate, though, it that the wallet emptying is done honorably, with very few girls asking for tips after dancers, just about everyone offering to get change for you if you overpay for dances, and one girl even suggesting that we wait for the 2-4-1 that she knew was coming even after I’d agreed to get a dance.  That should be a lesson for dancers everywhere – you might get the first hundred faster if you rip off a customer, but you’ll only get that 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th hundred if you make sure that he feels like his money is spent honestly. 

Value (2/10) – The $20 cover is rough, the sodas are a ridiculous $5 each, the waitresses are constantly trying to get you to buy drinks for dancers and the dances are overpriced at $20 for topless and $40 for nude since they’re only about two and a half minutes long.  If you want a VIP room, that’s 4 songs for $160 plus whatever you negotiate with the dancer, or you can pay something around $500 for some time in a private room.  The dance value is slightly increased if you wait for the frequent specials, but the two-for-ones definitely seemed to have shorter songs, and the dances during the “logo dances” couldn’t have been more than about a minute each.  The “logo dances” are supposed to be 4 dances and a t-shirt for $40, but I’m fairly certain that it didn’t last for more than 5 minutes, and who really wants a strip club t-shirt anyway?  I mean, if this guy who writes a strip club review blog and travels around the world to visit clubs would be too embarrassed to wear one, how shameless do you have to be to rock a Spearmint Rhino shirt in the real world? 

Club Setup (6/10) – The first thing that I noticed about the room was that the framed porn posters around the walls are much more graphic than I’m used to seeing in other Spearmint Rhinos, with some showing cocks and one even having cum dribbling down the girl’s face.  Despite that, this is a fairly classy club overall with a fireplace off to the side and a nice, medium sized stage in the center of the room.  Even though I’ve only seen one girl dancing at a time, they have two poles and a little leather ottoman up there for the girl to work with.  I usually like to see a larger bar than they have here and I’m not a fan of the way that the chairs are lined up in rows to face the stage as if you were at a play, but I guess there’s no reason to have the place set up for hanging out since it’s an alcohol-free club.  They know that you’re there to see women, so the whole setup is designed around that.  Unfortunately, the stage is so dark that you might not even be sure what you’re looking at half the time. 

Dance Setup (3/10) – The topless dance areas are little alcoves off of the back of the main area of the club.  There’s no privacy within them, but people in the other room can’t see you, and, since there are a few of those dance areas, you’ll usually be the only one in there unless they’re running a dance special.   The nude dance area is a little more private, but you’re going to want to go to the VIP area if you’ve got the cash for it, since they have nice couches back there and curtains that prevent anyone from seeing what you’re up to.  

Atmosphere (3.5/10) – There are a lot of states that have the topless-with-alcohol or nude-but-no-alcohol rules for strip clubs, but everywhere else that I’ve been, the better clubs chose the topless option.  I don’t know what it is about California that changes the equation, but out here, most of the good clubs are nude but don't serve alchohol.  Thankfully, the atmosphere is more similar to Little Darlings in Las Vegas than to the depressing juice bars that I’ve been to in New England, but I still feel like I’m missing half the experience if I’m not sipping a beer or my signature cocktail (as named by the bartendress at the Free Spirit Cafe, a “Peter Tips” is a redbull with a double shot of whiskey – try it, it’s delicious) while ogling titties.  The bar across the parking lot is at least some consolation, but since you can’t bring your drinks into the club, it’s still less than ideal.   

Lack of booze aside, this place is a little too loud so it can be tough to talk to the girls and it’s a little bit stuffy, but the crowd is decent and you should feel perfectly comfortable spending an hour or two here. 

Location (3/5) – The City of Industry isn’t particularly close to anything and there aren’t many hotels in the area, but since you’ll be stone cold sober, it’s not a big deal if you have to drive for a half hour to get home, and these clubs are worth the drive.  If it were just the Spearmint Rhino, it might be a tougher decision, but with Synn right down the street and the best Déjà Vu I’ve ever been to just a few minutes away, it’s not bad to make an evening of hitting these clubs.   

Overall – The City of Industry Spearmint Rhino is an excellent club regardless of your budget, but it can be amazing if you’re looking for the VIP experience and have the cash to make it happen.  That’s a little too rich for me, at least on a regular basis, but I’ll definitely be stopping by any time that I’m in the area.  Even if it is only as a warmup to/backup plan for the City of Industry Déjà Vu, which I like even more. 

RAW SCORE = 57.5