Divas (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (14/20) – These are probably the best lap dances in Lexington.  Two way contact is usually encouraged and most of the girls provide a solid grind, especially if you go for the nude dances.  I wasn't directly offered any extras, but the enthusiastic over-the-pants mouth bobbing made me assume that they'd be available from at least some of the girls.  And when I say "enthusiastic," I really mean it.  I even had to force one of the girls to stop because her saliva was starting to soak through my pants.

Quality of Dancers (2.5/10) – These ladies are a step up from what you'd find at Camelot West, but they're several steps down from what you'd find at most of the other local clubs. You might be more impressed than I was if you're into ink, but, even then, there was only one really hot dancer working while I was there.  Other than her, there were a few girls who would come out toward the middle of the civilian scale, but most of these dancers were just plain sloppy.

Number of Dancers (2/10) – I saw around a half dozen dancers working at prime club time on a Saturday night.  That would be pretty bad anyway, but since the quality is so low, you're really going to have to be patient if you want the attention of an attractive dancer.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (1.5/5) - Like most other Lexington clubs, there are one or two black dancers mixed in with the primarily white workforce.  The real variety comes from the size of the girls, but they don't get much credit for that since the larger girls weren't the good kind of thick.  Chubby chasers are in luck though.  

Attitude of Dancers (2.5/10) – The few girls who don't spend most of their time in the dressing room work the crowd so hard that it can be tough to get away from them. The self-described queen of the place (a large African American dancer who brags about her porn films) is particularly aggressive. She basically won't leave you alone until you either buys some dances or leave.  I think the problem may be that they get a lot of cheap customers, so they keep their defences up until you prove that you have a few dollars to spend.  A customer shouldn't need to prove themselves in a service establishment, but at least you know that the girl will likely be friendly once you buy a dance if you can deal with the pre-dance attitudes for long enough to get to that point.

Value (6.5/10) – If you're looking to stretch your dollars, Divas is a good place to do it.  The cover and beers are a bargain at $5 and $3.75, respectively, and dances are a solid value.  I don't think that you can buy a single dance, but the two topless dances will run you $30 and two nude dances go for $50.  I rarely pay a premium for nude dances, but it's totally worth it here because it allows you to get an infinitely better dance setup.

Dance Setup (7.5/10) –  Since nude dances are reasonably priced, I'm going to base this score on the nude dance setup, which is very solid.  You get your own booth with a comfortable couch and a mirror so that you can check out both sides of your dancer, and a curtain ensures that no one else will be able to see what you're up to.  If you stick to the topless dances, though, the setup wouldn't deserve more than a point or two.  Those dances are given on four shitty couches in a dingy room in the back of the club where there's no privacy from other dancers and dancees, but at least people on the main floor of the club can't see you.

Club Setup (1.5/10) – Divas is not a nice club.  There are plenty of small tables and rolly chairs throughout the room and there's a fairly large bar off to the side, but there's a lot of unused space that makes the place feel empty.  Plus it's unusually smokey and just generally smells bad.  The stage is medium sized and has two poles on it, but only one girl dances at a time except during the bachelor party shows, which are really just an excuse for the dj to act even more obnoxious than usual.

Club Atmosphere (1/10) – Divas seems to be relatively safe for such a run down club, but it's a fairly depressing place to hang out.  The stage action is mediocre except when a bachelor gets called up for a show, the cashier at the door asks for tips and the waitress just angrily glared at customers the entire time that I was there, but the worst part, by far, is the dj.  His constant yapping would have been annoying even in a busy club, but it just seemed pathetic since Divas was dead while I was there.  Strip club djs are kind of like referees in that, if you notice them, they're doing something wrong.  And this guy made Bennett Salvatore seem inconspicuous.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – Divas has plenty of parking and is right down the street from Cowboys and Deja Vu, so there's no need to commit to spending your whole evening there.

Overall –  Extras are more likely at Camelot West, but the lap dances at Divas are the most consistently good dances that you'll find in the area.  That isn't enough to make up for its other shortcomings, but it does mean that it could be worth keeping in mind if it's starting to get late and you aren't finding the kind of lap dances that you're looking for elsewhere.

RAW SCORE = 42.5

Camelot West (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (12.5/20) – You're probably better off sticking with table dances, but if you can manage to find anyone worth getting a lap dance from, you should be pleased with the quality.  The girls give a good grind and encourage at least moderate two way contact, and a lot of girls will graze their hands over your crotch.  Many of the girls will promise that lots of fun can be had if the reasonably priced locked private booths, but I had zero interest in getting more intimate with these ladies.

Quality of Dancers (1/10) – Most of these ladies were a little older, a little larger, or both.  I only saw one who I'd rate above a 6, and most of them were in the 2-5 range on the non-pro scale.

Number of Dancers (2/10) – I saw about a half dozen dancers and there was a decent dancer to customer ratio, but that really doesn't do you any good if the only attractive girl is tied up with regulars for the entire evening.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) – They've got a fairly even mix of black and white dancers, and I did see one Latina as well.  You really don't have much choice of who to look at, though, when there's only one hot dancer in the building.  As for size, it seemed to correlate with skin tone, so you're out of luck if you're looking for a larger white lady or a smaller black one.

Attitude of Dancers (5.5/10) – They're not going to be getting many customers who just stop in because they're passing by and think it looks like a nice place to check out.  They know that everyone who stops here is a regular or at least a potential regular, so they treat customers accordingly.  If they'd get rid of the strung out girls, this score would be higher, but everyone is really friendly and you should be able to have some decent conversation if that's what you're looking for.

Value (7.5/10) – You can't beat $2.25 beers and no cover during happy hour, and, even in the evening, $3.50 beers and a $5 cover are a bargain. You'll bore quickly if you're tring to be a spectator since the stage is empty for long stretches of time, but the $5 table dances are a popular way to stretch your cash, and most of the girls offer full lap dances for two-for-$25 or two-for-$30.

Dance Setup (3/10) – The dance area is a separate section of the club beside the dj booth, so the dj and anyone who is giving or receiving a dance can see what you're up to.  Still, since most people stick to the table dances, the lack of dividers between the couches isn't a deal breaker.

Club Setup (1/10) – I rarely care about strip club restrooms, but the facilities at Camelot West are so bad that I'd be doing you a disservice to not mention them. There are two urinals in the room and the door doesn't lock, so it's clearly not meant to be a one-at-a-time deal, but there's a toilet in there with no stall or dividers whatsoever.  I don't even know whether it would be more awkward dropping a deuce in front of a guy who's just trying to take a piss, or if it would be worse to be pissing in front of a guy who's laying some cable, but neither would be good.  And if that's not enough, there's a makeshift peephole (or a glory hole for a micro-penis?) between the men's and women's bathrooms that's been plugged up with toilet paper.  The worst part, though, is that the bathroom looks exactly how you expect it to look based on the rundown shithole that is Camelot West.  If it were better maintained, the setup might not actually be that bad - there's a raised area near the front that helps everyone get a good view of the small octagonal stage and there's plenty of seating at either the long bar or the small tables that are scattered around the room - but it's better days had to have been several presidencies ago.

Club Atmosphere (1/10) – This place is a pure dive bar, so the crowd really can make the difference between it being a solid place to pound a few beers and it being a shithole where you wouldn't want to spend much time.  Unfortunately, half the crowd seemed a little rough and the other half consisted of creepy old men in way-too-short basketball shorts. I can't fault their logic, because the basketball shorts in a strip club is to guys looking to buy sex what the rolled up right pant leg was to guys looking to buy drugs in the 90s, but have a little self respect and wear some proper clothes. Cargos or khaki shorts are acceptable on a hot day and offer similar access without the side effect of creeping out every girl in the place.  Sure, it will require a little more work in telling the girls what you want, but that's a small price to pay to maintain your dignity.

Club Accessibility (3/5) – The club is in a strip mall on the west side of Lexingon. It's easy to get to an there's more than enough parking, but I didn't get the sense that this is the best part of town.

Overall – Camelot West is a run down piece of shit club where you really shouldn't plan to go if you're just looking for dances. If, on the other hand, you're looking or more than that, it might be worth keeping in mind since it's the safest bet for extra services in the Lexington area. Even then, I'd take my chances at one of the other clubs first, but you should be comforted to know that Camelot West is there if the other clubs have left you high and dry by the time that you're down to your last $100.

RAW SCORE = 38.5

Deja Vu Lexington (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (6.5/20) – The dances at Deja Vu are fairly mediocre. I like the short preview that you get when the girl dances on the small stage in the dance booth and the dancers do make contact with customers, but the dj constantly announces to "keep your hands inside the ride at all times."  I assume that means that you aren't supposed to touch the dancers, but assuming that the dancers are the "rides," maybe I misinterpreted that.  Either way, I didn't get the feeling that tit grabbing would be acceptable, though minimal lower body contact is fine.

Quality of Dancers (6.5/10) – Deja Vu has the biggest variation in quality of any of the local clubs.  They had the two hottest dancers that I saw on my Lexington strip club tour, but they also had a lot of worn out and mediocre girls taking up space.  Overall, the quality was decent but nothing to write home about.

Number of Dancers (6/10) – They have lots of dancers and a very nice dancer-to-customer ratio, but the limited number of really hot dancers prevents them from getting a overly high score here.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) – Most of the ladies at this place are thin and white, and the really hot ones that I saw were all brunettes. Even though they were less impressive, I was pleased to at least see one or two African Americans to break up the monotony.

Attitude of Dancers (3.5/10) – Most of the ladies at Deja Vu are all business.  They aren't exactly rude, but if you don't get a dance right away, they probably aren't going to stick around for more than a few seconds.  Plus, this was the first place that I've ever been asked if I'd like to buy a drink for a dancer while getting a lap dance.  The blame for that obviously belongs with the waitress rather than with the dancers, but the result is nevertheless that you don't even momentarily forget that you're paying for these ladies' company.  

Value (6.5/10) – The dances are an okay value at $20 each, the $12 cover is reasonable for an alcohol-free club with free sodas, and the nude stage action is above average, but the real value comes from the crazy specials that they have.  Sometimes dances are $15, sometimes they're buy one get one free, sometimes you can get 2 girls at a time for the regular dance price, and sometimes they have something called "mystery dances."  Even after getting one of them, I still have no idea what the fuck they are.  Basically, they played some sort of achy breaky heart-ish country music and then announced a girl who was the mystery girl.  The girl who was dancing for me was the mystery girl, so I think I was supposed to get a free porn DVD or something similarly pervish, but I didn't bother to tell the DJ that I was the winner though, so maybe I'm wrong about the prize.  Either way, I was as confused as I've ever been while sober.  

Dance Setup (2.5/10) – You'd think that the setup would be decent since you get your own booth, but the opening faces directly into the main area of the club so everyone can watch your dance. It was particularly bad during one of my dances when a table full of girls stared in my direction while laughing hysterically.  I wish I'd know at the time that it was just a bachelorette party laughing at the bachelorette who was getting a dance in the booth beside me, because that dance was a very uncomfortable 3 minutes.  

Club Setup (3.5/10) – The club reminded me of a smaller version of Deja Vu's Las Vegas location, but it was a little more run down than the other Deja Vu clubs that I've been to and it was uncomfortably hot.  It's just one big room with a lot of small tables and rolly chairs, and there are a few tall tables in the back near the juice bar.  Everyone does at least have a decent view of the three-polled stage in the front of the room, but only one girl was on it at a time while I was there while I was there on a Saturday night.  

Club Atmosphere (3.5/10) – The vibe is pretty solid for an alcohol-free club and the DJ does everything that he can to pump up the energy level.  I don't usually enjoy a loud DJ and the weird jokey songs and mystery dances are a little over the top, but this guy is actually pretty good. As long as you manage to ignore the young jackasses that fill the place (this is the only strip club option in town for the under-21 crowd), it's easy to have a good time at Deja Vu.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – Deja Vu is on the north side of Lexington and is very close to both Cowboys and Divas, and they have more than enough parking even when the club is hopping.  The only real drawback is that the entrace is in direct view of the main road, but I didn't really care about that since I'm not from the area and am shameless.  It might not be great for you, though, if you'd prefer to hide your strip club habit from anyone in Lexington.  

Overall –  Deja Vu Lexington is an okay club, but it's just not good enough in any individual aspect to overcome the lack of alcohol as far as I'm concerned.  That might be different for you if you're under 21 or are working your way through the 12 step program, but, either way, Deja Vu is a decent but unspectacular option for seeing some naked ladies in Lexington.  

RAW SCORE = 44

Cowboys (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (12/20) – The dances at Cowboys are among the best that you'll find in Lexington.  Most of the girls give a solid grind and are active over the pants (and in a few cases, under the pants) with their hands.  The over the pants vibrating mouth action is particularly popular and appreciated.  Unfortunately, other than hands on the hips, the contact is one-way and the bottoms stay on.  I usually stick with topless dances anyway, but it is nice at all the other Lexington clubs to have the option to upgrade if the mood strikes.  On the plus side, even though lap dances are always my dance of choice, it's nice that they also offer moderate friction table dances that are just as useful if your real goal is to give the girl a tryout for the 15 minute VIP.  Some of the girls offer to lend a helping hand in the VIP and a few might even do more than that, but the separate cameras pointed directly at each VIP booth will be enough to keep guys with anything to lose from trying to go too far.

Quality of Dancers (6.5/10) – They usually have a few 8s and 9s, but quality control is fairly low, with a sizeable percentage of the girls having some glaring weakness, such as a bad boob job, a jacked up face or just a generally tired and worn out appearance.

Number of Dancers (5/10) – The actual number of dancers isn't too bad with short stage sets and not too many repeats, but the fact that there are only a few truly hot ones combined with the fact that most if not all of those hot ones are perpetually tied up with regulars means that you're going to have to drop your standards or be very patient if you want a dance when it's busy.  I was approached by a few worthy dance candidates by the end of my first beer during the day shift, but on a Saturday night, it was rare to be approached by any of the dozen-ish dancers who were on the floor, and it was even more rare to be approached by anyone who I'd rate as a 7 or above.  Of course, things are much better if you're a regular, but, for the rest of us, the lack of quality dancers can be frustrating.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (1.5/5) – Most of these girls are either thin and white or very thin and white.  Even though I did see a few black dancers, hair color was the only meaningful variation, because all of the women who were worth a look were Caucasian.

Attitude of Dancers (6.5/10) – Some of the hottest dancers are all business, particularly when the club is busy, but these ladies are generally pretty friendly.  I'm a particularly big fan of the way that a lot of them ask if you want company after you get a dance.  It really puts the ball in your court in a way that isn't too aggressive while still giving the shy guys an opening to ask for what they want.  They do try to use the lap dances to upsell to the VIP, but even that is low pressure, and a few girls suggested that I sample a few girls' table dances and lap dances before picking one for the VIP so that I'd be happy with my choice.  That's always a good idea anyway, but I've never had dancers suggest it.

Value (6.5/10) – The cover is low, cans of beer are only $3.25 and you can't beat $5 table dances, so Cowboys isn't a bad place to go if you're trying to stretch a dollar.  Lap dances are a little over priced at $20 each since they usually play very short songs, but at least you feel like you're getting something for your money. If you're looking to get a little more though, 15 minutes in the VIP area will run you $150.

Dance Setup (1.5/10) –  Lap dances are given in a separate room off of a back corner of the club, so nobody in the regular part of the club can watch you while you're getting your dances.  Unfortunately, there are no dividers in the room and it's very bright, so the DJ and anyone who's giving or receiving a dance can see you.  I'm not factoring in the VIP dance setup for this score, but, in case you're curious, it's a row of large booths that are only visible to people walking to and from their own VIP dances.  Well, them and whoever is monitoring the video feeds from the cameras that are right in front of and pointed at each booth.

Club Setup (3/10) – This place is a total dive.  There's a decent bar at one side of the club and a small bar at the other side and there are four high tables, but most people just sit at the shitty small tables with rolly chairs. The club is small enough that no one is too far from the main stage or the tiny stage that's off to the one side (or the third stage that was unused while I was there), but the lack of seating at the stage means that guys line up to hand the girls tips, blocking everyone else's view in the process.

Club Atmosphere (4.5/10) – If you're looking for a gentlemen's club, go elsewhere, because Cowboys is a strip joint in the purest sense.  Cans of beer?  A slightly rough crowd?  Country music? Check, check, check.  Having said that, there are enough young bachelor partiers and crusty old men that you'd shouldn't feel too out of place no matter who you are.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – Cowboys is on the north side of town, but it's not far from downtown Lexington and is fairly close to a few other strip clubs.  The location at the back of a strip mall is a little unusual, but there's plenty of parking and the entrance is discreet, so it's not bad.

Overall – Cowboys is very much a hybrid of the glamorous clubs like Platinum Plus and the gritty clubs like Divas.  Whether its a best-of-both-worlds hybrid or a worst-of-both-worlds hybrid really depends on when you go.  The relatively small number of quality dancers means that you never quite know what you'll get on any particular visit, but your chances of finding it at its best are inversely proportional to how busy the club is, so I'd try not to go on a weekend night if at all possible.  If you hit it right (or if you're a regular, in which case you already know this), Cowboys is the only club in town where you can get above average dances from above average dancers.  If you hit it wrong, though, it can be a frustrating experience.  Overall, it's worth stopping by and having a beer while you scope it out, but you need to be willing to bail if necessary, because it will not improve as the night goes on.

RAW SCORE = 51

Spearmint Rhino (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (9/20) For my first dance at the Rhino, I walked into the booth with a dancer about 15 seconds after a song started, and she immediately started giving an airdance.  I was crushed.  I've gotten very solid dances at their Vegas location and I've gotten very solid dances elsewhere in Lexington, so I just couldn't understand how things could be so bad here.  Well, that's because they aren't that bad.  When the song ended, the girl saddled up on my lap and announced that she was going to start the dance.  I wish I'd known in advance that the almost full song of air dancing was just a free preview so that I could have enjoyed it instead of sitting there pissed off thinking that I'd just wasted $30, but the gesture was nevertheless appreciated.

The actual dances are decent, with everyone providing a light grind and allowing varying levels of 2-way contact.  Breast touching is rarely encouraged though usually tolerated, but hands on the hips and legs isn't a problem at all.  My only real complaint is that the girls seem to spend as much time touching themselves as they do touching customers.  I know that preferences vary on that, but I prefer to get my visual stimulation on the floor and keep the dances focused on the physical.  If they insist on giving the gynecological tour though, they should at least try not to get too creative with it.  Several of these ladies did a move where they pretend to shove an imaginary dildo into themselves, but it really looks more like they're jerking off their imaginary tranny dicks. Not sexy to say the least.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) As long as you don't try to compare these ladies to the ones who dance at the Rhino's Vegas location, you should be satisfied.  There must be something about their corporate culture that encourages girls to get implants, but that's my only major complaint.  In general, these ladies are young, hot and in good shape.

Number of Dancers (6.5/10) – There were a few dozen women working the night that I was there, and even though too many of them hang out in the dressing room when it's not busy, it's nice to have a steady rotation of girls on the stage with no repeats for well over an hour.  The club makes all of the ladies line up and file through the club whenever they do the 2-for-1s, so it is an impressive sight when they're all visible at the same time.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (0.5/5) – If you like thin blond white girls, you're in luck.  If you like thin brunette white girls, you shouldn't have any major complaints.  If you like anything else, you might want to consider hitting a different club.

Attitude of Dancers (6/10) – Most of the girls at the Rhino are fairly friendly and are happy to sit and chat as long as the club isn't too busy.  I did get a little push for the VIP from some of the girls, but it wasn't over the top and didn't really detract from my enjoyment.

Value (5.5/10) – The $5 cover and $3.75 beers are both very reasonable, particularly compared to the Rhino's prices in Las Vegas.  Less impressive is the expectation that you'll buy drinks for dancers, which is pretty much always the worst return on investment that you can get.  If the girl asks, I at least assume that she wants something, but waitresses asking if I want to buy a dancer a drink is the worst, and that's what happens constantly here.  The $30 topless dances are a little over priced, but if you wait for the impressive 2-for-1 lineup, your money will go much further.  I'm not sure if it's on any set schedule, but you know that it's coming when the DJ announces for all dancers to report to the dressing room.  The stage action isn't terribly intimate, but the pole action is good and you can see that just fine without having to sit and tip at the stage.

Dance Setup (6/10) –  The lap dance area is relatively private since it's a separate area of booths at the back of the club.  Just the right side of the booth is open, so no one can see you unless they're walking to or from their own dances.  Unfortunately, a floater checks up on you to make sure that you aren't getting too wild and the couches are fairly uncomfortable, but this is still a little better than the average lap dance setup.

Club Setup (8/10) – This is a very nice, classy club.  It's not overwhelmingly large, especially compared to their Vegas location, but it's very well laid out.  The ceilings are high and the seating is in tiers so that everyone has a good view of the main stage, and that also allows most customers to have their backs to a wall.  That's a very nice touch that allows the club to feel intimate, plus it allows for a little privacy for those times when you don't want to be on full display.   If you're sitting far from the main stage and want a closer look at the girls, they'll occassionally go up on the four satellite stages that are spread throughout the club.  The bar isn't in a great location in the far back corner of the club, but there are plenty of four person tables and a counter type of area overlooking the stage, so there're usually plenty of good places to sit.

Club Atmosphere (6.5/10) – The Spearmint Rhino is a little classier than the Platinum Plus and doesn't seem to be quite as good for a night of drunken shenanigans, but it's still a lot of fun for groups of all sizes and would be solid for a quick solo beer.  I've gotten used to the non-smoking clubs in the north, so the smoke bothered me a little at first, but it's not too bad as long as you don't have to explain your smokiness to anyone.

Club Accessibility (3/5) – The Rhino is further from downtown Lexington than any of the other Lexington clubs, but the fact that you could stand at the front door of the club and hit any one of a half dozen hotels will a baseball does a lot to make up for that.

Overall – The Lexington Spearmint Rhino is a very nice club that's deserving of a visit if you're in the area.  It's not quite as good as the Platinum Plus, but it's easily the second best option among the relatively classy Lexington clubs.

RAW SCORE = 58.5

Camelot East (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (8/20) – The dances at Camelot East as mediocre as can be.  The girls all provide some slow, sensual friction, but there isn't much grinding and two way contact is rarely encouraged.  Several girls promise that much more fun can be had in the VIP room, but I need to see a little more out of the girls during the regular dances before I consider dropping that kind of cash, so I can't confirm that.   

Quality of Dancers (6/10) – Just like the dances, the dancers at this place are pretty run-of-the-mill.  I saw two beauties, but most of the girls were 6s and 7s, and a few would rate a little below that.  They do have decent quality control, though, because I didn't see anyone who was terribly unattractive.

Number of Dancers (5.5/10) – They had over a dozen women working during my lone Saturday evening visit, which was at least one dancer for every customer.  Unfortunately, half of them barely peaked their heads out of the dressing room and the other half barely circulated, so it took way too long to get anyone's attention to get a dance.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) – Like a lot of the other Lexington clubs, this place has mostly white dancers with a few token black girls.  A few hot redheads and a few slightly thicker (though still far from thick) girls were enough to keep things interesting for my hour and a half long visit, but I'd have definitely gotten bored by these ladies if I'd stayed for an entire evening.

Attitude of Dancers (4/10) – I saw a few strung-out girls, but most of them are fairly friendly once you get a chance to talk to them.  The real problem, though, is that it's next to impossible to get any of them to talk to you if you aren't a regular.

Value (5/10) – The good news is that the cover is only $5, the $5 table dances are a bargain and you can get beers for just $3.75.  The bad news is that the dances are overpriced at $25 for the topless version or $40 for fully nude and the stage action is fairly weak, with entire songs frequently playing to an empty stage.  If you want to upgrade to private dances, that will run you $100 for 15 minutes or $50 plus whatever you negotiate with the dancer for a half hour.

Dance Setup (2/10) –  Dances are given on relatively comfortable couches in a separate raised area near the entrance of the club.  No one from the main part of the club can see you, but there's no privacy within the dance room.  That means that anyone else who is back there can see as much as they want, so it's pretty bad if other guys are getting dances at the same time.

Club Setup (2.5/10) – Camelot East really makes an effort to pull off the classy look but somehow falls short of that and just ends up being sterile.  That's a big step up from their other location, which leaves you feeling like you need to be sterilized, but I hate the long white tablecloth look at an otherwise mediocre club.  The tables themselves are only big enough for two people and all of the seats are lined up to face the medium sized stage in the center of the room.  The tables at least break up the rows of chairs enough to prevent it from feeling too much like a theater, but I'd much rather avoid them and sit at the bench along the right side wall or the small but nice bar near the entrance.  The one place I really don't want to be sitting, though, is on their stall-less shitter.  I guess they're just trying to prevent guys from going in there and beating off, but having to worry about that kind of undermines their attempts at classiness.  

Club Atmosphere (2/10) – The setup prevents this place from working for large groups and the sterility prevents it from being ideal for a quick beer after work, so I'm really not sure who it's supposed to appeal to.  It seems safe enough, but I was itching to leave by the end of my first beer and generally wouldn't want to hang out there for an extended period of time.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – I've seen strip clubs in strip malls before, but this is the first time that I've ever seen one that shares a strip mall with a church.  I don't know which was there first, but I'm impressed that they can coexist.  You don't need to worry about anyone seeing you go into the club though, because Camelot East's entrance is at the back of the building.  The club is a few miles from downtown, but they have plenty of parking and there's a bus stop right across the street.

Overall – That's like a 40-degree day. Ain't nobody got nothing to say about a 40-degree day. Fifty. Bring a smile to your face. Sixty, shit, niggas is damn near barbecuing on that motherfucker. Go down to 20, niggas get their bitch on. Get their blood complaining. But forty? Nobody give a fuck about 40. Nobody remember 40, and y'all niggas is giving me way too many 40-degree days! What the fuck? ~ Stringer Bell (The Wire)

Camelot East is the 40-degree day of strip clubs.  Not good enough to warrant a visit or bad enough to be memorable.  Just average or slightly below across the board.  

RAW SCORE = 41

Platinum Plus Lexington (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (8.5/20) – There's a huge variation from one girl to the next, with some girls offering full two-way contact and other girls only providing a soft rub without allowing much touching.  Most of the ladies do at least provide a slow but solid grind and allow hands on the hips, so the dances end up being reasonably enjoyable as long as your expectations aren't too high.  Just know that if you're expecting the type of contact that you'd get at their Columbia, SC location, your expectations are too high. he only advantage here is that you have the option of upgrading to a nude dance if you're willing to spend an extra $10.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – There weren't any 9s or 10s during my visits, but they had 7s and 8s as far as the eye could see.  It's just an exceptionally consistent work force that's filled with women who are worth taking for a dance.

Number of Dancers (8/10) – They have more than enough dancers, and just about every table of guys was being entertained by one or more ladies at a time, even when the club is packed.  During the two-for-one parade, things are even more impressive, with dozens of women filing through the room looking for guys to entertain.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3.5/5) – Most of the ladies at the Platinum Plus are white, but they have some of the best body variation that I've ever seen.  It's not unusual to find a club with thick girls, thin girls and everything in between, but it's almost impossible to find a place with that kind of variation where all of the ladies are mainstream hot.  Since everyone in this place rates at least a 7, even the women who aren't your type shouldn't be a turnoff.  

Attitude of Dancers (2.5/10) – The good news is that some of the ladies were happy to sit and chat after I got a few dances even though I made it clear that I wouldn't be purchasing any more from them, and a lot of these ladies were actually a lot of fun to talk to.  The bad news is that several of the girls ask you to prepay for dances and some ask if you want a dance without even introducing themselves.  The real reason for this low score, though, is that the Platinum Plus refuses to set dance prices, so you have to ask every single girl what her rates are and then negotiate before getting a dance.  If I'm having a good conversation with a attractive girl and she asks if I want a dance, the last thing that I want to do is look like I'm counting pennies, but it's inevitable that you'll get ripped off if you don't confirm the rates.  In case the club's management is reading this, just make it an even $25 per song with no multiple song discounts.  The girls would make more money and the customers could go with the flow, and everyone would be better off.  I'd gladly pay a few dollars extra for that, and I guarantee that I'm not the only one.    

Value (6/10) – The $6 cover isn't bad and $3.75 beers are solid, but you'll get your change in $2 bills and a few of the girls who got me drinks just pocketed $2.25 as a tip.  That's probably what I would have tipped anyway, but since they didn't even ask, it felt more like an overpriced $6 beer than a $3.75 bargain.  Dance prices are variable, but buying one dance at a time generally isn't a great deal, with most of the girls charging $30 for topless or $40 for nude. The club does at least run periodic two-for-ones, and a lot of girls will give two topless dances for $40 throughout the night so it's not bad if you're patient or buy in bulk.

Dance Setup (2.5/10) – Dances are given in two long narrow rooms with bench/couch hybrids lining the opposing walls.  People in the main part of the club can't really see you, but there's no privacy from other people who are getting dances and, when the club is busy, other people are always getting dances.  During two-for-ones in particular, the dance area gets packed.  The seats themselves aren't overly comfortable, but they're not so bad as to detract from the dance.

Club Setup (9/10) – This is a beautiful club both inside and out. There's a large rectangular stage at one side of the room and a small, circular, cage style stage at the other side of the room.  In case you're unfamiliar with those things, the stage is surrounded by poles that enclose the girl and allow for some very creative dance moves that you won't see at many other clubs.  Like Platinum Plus's other locations, the lighting is perfect, with just enough strobes to light up the girls, but not so much as to be annoying or make things too bright.  The floor can get a little cramped with all of the small tables filling the room, but it does provide plenty of seating, even on weekend evenings.  If you'd rather hang out at the bar, there's a large one in the back of the club, but you can also get beers at the rack as you walk in if you're impatient.

Club Atmosphere (9/10) – This place has a great party vibe but still manages to be inviting for small groups and solo visitors as well.  My only complaint is that the weekend DJ seems to think that you're there to hear him talk, even going so far as to kill the music in the middle of a song to blabber about who-know-what.  It's not just a few seconds of it either; one girl was fully dressed by the time he turned the music back up because the girl and I both assumed that the song was over.  Thankfully, she apologized and hopped back on without any prompting, but the DJ successfully killed the flow.  Strip club DJs need to learn that if they're saying anything more than "right now all lap dances are buy one, get one free" and "that's going to do it for Jade.  Next up to the stage, Destiny," he's talking too much.  

Club Accessibility (4/5) – This club is easy to get to from anywhere in Lexington and they have plenty of parking, with one of the largest strip club parking lots that I've ever seen.

Overall – The Platinum Plus is the best strip club in Lexington.  There are a few places on the north side of town that offer more aggressive lap dances and the Spearmint Rhino is a decent option if you're just passing by on I-75, but this place is the whole package.  If you've been to their Columbia, SC location, it's a very similar experience except these girls are hotter but give much worse dances.  Still, even for a lap dance fiend like me, Platinum Plus Lexington is a guaranteed good time, and I'll be stopping by in the unlikely event that I ever find myself back in the area.

RAW SCORE = 59.5