Oasis (Philadelphia, PA)

Quality of Dances (12/20) – These are fairly good dances, with a decent grind, some over the pants contact, and plenty of tit grabbing encouragement.  Plus several of the girls were intent on kissing my nipples.  That isn’t really my thing, but I guess it’s good to know that it’s available for those who want it.  I’m worried that this score might be too high because it looked like everyone else was getting a fairly mediocre experience, but whether I got lucky or chose well or was just irresistible to the ladies, at least you know it is possible to have a good time here.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – A few of the girls were a little sloppy, but most of them were decent and a few were stunning.  The black dancers and blondes, in particular, were gorgeous, especially considering that the bright lighting exposes any flaws that are present.   

Number of Dancers (6/10) – They have two girls on stage at a time during prime time, but there usually aren’t a whole lot of girls working the crowd.  It’s sufficient, but just barely.

Variety of Dancers (3.5/5) – Most of the girls are white, but there have been some stunning black dancers working during each of my visits, and I’ve always found good size variation. 

Attitudes (1.5/10) – Like at many of the Philly clubs, the tip walk is brutal at Oasis.  I understand why they need to do it since tipping at the stage is difficult if not impossible, but the way that they stand and stare until you tip even if you’re deep in conversation is a little over the top.  One girl even stood behind the bartender and waited until I’d placed my initial drink order before informing me that she’d just gotten off stage before I’d walked in so I should give her a tip.  Seriously?  Even putting aside the tip walk, these girls left a lot to be desired.  Most seemed angry, all asked for tips, and one was intolerable with trying to sell multiple dances by repeating “so you’re just buying 1?” until I agreed to buy a second dance, then repeating “so you’re just buying 2?” until I got up in the middle of the second dance and left.   

Value (7/10) – The $10 cover isn’t too bad and it’s free if you have tickets to a local sporting event, and beers are very reasonable with 2-for-$6 Miller Light specials at times ($5 each otherwise). The $20 dances are a decent value too, the stage action is pretty mediocre, but, even though the constantly approaching tip walkers hurt the value, the fact that the ladies take the tips in their cleavage at least gives you a little something for your money.  

Club Setup (4/10) – Almost all of the seats in here are at the huge bar, and you’ll be looking at the girls on the stages about five feet away from you inside the bar.  Thankfully, there are also a few tables along the other walls and some couches in a raised area that allow you to avoid the tip walk, and there’s also a small stage along the back wall, though I’ve never seen anyone dancing on it.  Overall, this is a clean enough club, but the fact that it’s a little worn is only made more evident by the ridiculously bright lighting and over the top black lights.  There are lots of TVs and a few big screens, so it could be a decent place to watch a game, but don’t wear your white Phillies jersey in here unless you feel like glowing. 

Dance Setup (4/10) – Dances are given in a separate room in the back, and there are several benches with small but adequate dividers between you and anyone else who’s getting a dance.  People who are walking by can see everything and half of the benches have no privacy at all, but no one faces the three benches in the back so they’re fairly private.  If you pick a good dancer, you’ll almost certainly get one of the good benches, and if you don’t, the dance will be so lame that you won’t really care about privacy anyway. 

Atmosphere (4/10) – The tip walk detracts from what should otherwise be a fairly decent atmosphere for hanging out for a while after a game or before a flight.  The crowd is very mixed, with lots of business travelers who are staying nearby at the airport, plenty of partiers, and a few slightly rougher characters.  

Location (3/5) – Oasis is southwest of downtown Philadelphia, but isn’t too far of a drive, and is easily taxiable from the airport.  You aren’t going to be walking to get there, but there are at least options if you get too drunk to drive home. 

Overall – Oasis isn’t a great club, but it’s among the best in Philadelphia, and it may be your best option if you’re looking for decent dances from attractive dancers and are hoping to save a few bucks compared to a visit to the Penthouse Club. 

RAW SCORE = 52.5

Oasis Good Time Emporium (Atlanta, GA)

Quality of Dances (6.5/20) – These aren't Follies-quality dances, but you could do a lot worse than Oasis for table dances in Atlanta.  Most of the girls alternate between moderate friction with some knee action and air, but these do at least feel like lap dances.  Nothing about the vibe lead me to believe that tit grabbing would be acceptable, so I didn't try it, but I was lucky enough to witness one guy making a horribly failed attempt to go for it.  Hands on the hips is generally fine though as long as you aren't too aggressive about it.

Quality of Dancers (8.5/10) – The Oasis ladies aren't quite as hot across the board as the ladies at The Cheetah or the Pink Pony, but they're almost all still very hot and fairly young. Considering the number of girls that they have working on weekend nights, it's impressive that they're still able to maintain such solid quality control.

Number of Dancers (8.5/10) – I couldn't even guess how many ladies were working on a Saturday night, but the club was packed with guys and pretty much every table had at least one girl and most had more than one.  Whether you're looking for dances or company, you shouldn't have to wait long at all to find a girl who's willing to provide it.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3/5) – This is where Oasis really set itself apart from the Pink Pony for me.  They still have lots of thin white blonds, but they also have a few slightly thicker girls, a few black girls and even several Asians.  With so many girls working the crowd, there's usually a different type in just about every direction.

Attitude of Dancers (6/10) – These girls are surprisingly friendly considering how hot they are and how busy the place gets.  Everyone was happy to sit and chat before asking about dances, and one girl was particularly impressive with her sports conversation.  I always enjoy when girls seem to know at least a little about sports, but this girl wasn't just talking generalities like, "how do you think the Falcons will do this year?"  It was more along the lines of, "what do you think about the rumor that the Eagles are looking to sign another left tackle?"  It was like getting a dance from an infinitely more attractive female John Clayton.

Value (6/10) – The $5.50 beers are 50 cents more than at most other places in Atlanta, but the $10 cover, $10 table dances and bathroom attendant looking for a tip are all standard.  The stage action is merely adequate, but since they don't have seats at the stages, it's hard to complain too much about a free show when the girls are this attractive.

Dance Setup (0/10) – Unless you're willing to drop the cash for a half hour of private dances, you'll be getting your dance at your seat right out in the middle of the open room.  That doesn't allow the girls to stretch the rules at all, and, unless you're shameless, it doesn't allow you to fully relax either.  I know a lot of people love the idea of $10 table dances in Atlanta, but I'd be more than happy to pay double that for even a modicum of privacy.  You know, like you do with lap dances almost everywhere else in the country.

Club Setup (8/10) – Oasis is a large square room with high ceilings that really should feel like a warehouse, but somehow they make it work.  There are well lit framed artsy lingerie posters around the room like you'd see at some of the big Vegas clubs and it just generally manages to be classy without being too stuffy.  There's a large bar at one side of the room, a small bar at the other side and three fairly small stages around the room.  My only complaint there is that there are no seats at the stage, so you have to stand and deliver if you want to give a tip, but it does mean that everyone has a decent view from all of the 3 or 4 person tables with moveable chairs that fill up the room.  The best thing about this place is that, unlike almost all of the other Atlanta clubs, there's plenty of seating, even when it's packed.

Club Atmosphere (8.5/10) – Oasis is a nice place to relax in the early evening and a nice place to party once the night really gets going.  It would probably be my choice for a bachelor party destination in Atlanta, and it's just generally a good time.

Club Accessibility (3/5) – This place is on the outskirts of Atlanta, but they do have plenty of parking and they're in the same general direction as Follies, so you can hit them both if you're looking to make the trip worthwhile.

Overall – Oasis is a very nice club that will be a regular stop for me any time that I'm in town.  It isn't the best at any individual aspect - their girls aren't quite the hottest, their dances aren't the most aggressive, and their location is pretty much the worst - but they're still in a two way race with Follies for the title of best all-around strip club in Atlanta.  I'm all about the dances, so you're more likely to find me at Follies, particularly before the clubs get too busy, but Oasis is the place to go if you're looking to have a night out on the town and the quality of ladies is more important to you than the quality of the table dances.

RAW SCORE = 58