Notes on Wisconsin Dolls (Wisconsin Dells, WI)

As I mentioned in my Penthouse Detroit post, I'm clearing out some old notes. I'm just going to post them as is, so they won't be in full sentence and may not make any sense at all, but hopefully they're of some use to you. Just keep in mind that these aren't proper reviews - they may have been based on only 1 or 2 visits that probably took place 2-3 years ago, and I may have been extremely intoxicated. 

Dances (12/20) good grind, 2 way not encouraged but tolerated to some extent

Dancers (5/10) decent. 2 pretty hot, a lot decent, none too bad

Club Setup (4.5/10) smallish but clean not a ton of seating but enough. There's 1 pit stage with chairs around. A few tall tables and long bar.

Dance Setup (4/10) You get dances in a back room with several booths. It's not super private but there are some dividers and it's not busy so no one can really see. There's a beaded entryway that people in one corner can see into. A bouncer peeked in once

Attitudes (8/10) very friendly. Sit and chat. One offered to buy me a shot. 

Value (6/10) $3 beers for happy hour and only $4 after (sadly, no Spotted Cow), $25 dances, Good nude stage show (one girl offered to "take a dollar off of any part of (my) body" - I handed it to herVIPs start at $120 for 30 min and include 2 drinks. Not bad. 

Atmosphere (5.5/10) good local bar vibe mix of music from rock and rap to country 

Variety (1/10) size variety and one mixed race dancer plus one Asian but mostly white 

Number (4.5/10) Not a ton of dancers but sufficient for a small club. Maybe 10 girls while I was there. 

Location (2/5) If you're in the Dells, this is your closest option, but you'll have to drive to get there. 

Overall - I liked this place a little better than the nearby Cruisin Chubby's based on my single visit to each place, but Crusin Chubby's had more potential, so it's a tossup between the two if you only have time for one. Either way, you should have a solid but unspectacular time. 

RAW SCORE = 52.5

Notes on Cruisin' Chubbys (Wisconsin Dells, WI)

As I mentioned in my Penthouse Detroit post, I'm clearing out some old notes. I'm just going to post them as is, so they won't be in full sentence and may not make any sense at all, but hopefully they're of some use to you. Just keep in mind that these aren't proper reviews - they may have been based on only 1 or 2 visits that probably took place 2-3 years ago, and I may have been extremely intoxicated. 

Club Setup (6/10) This place is like a big cabin. Everything is wood inside and there are deer heads on the walls. There's a huge main stage and a ton of seats around it. There a a few bars - a long stand up bar and another shorter stand up bar in the back near another stage. There are 7 tall tables on the main floor and a few more tables in the back. They need more seats away from the stage, but it's still solid. Good lighting effects. There's also a shower stage downstairs, but that seems to be reserved for bachelor parties.  They have a bunch of TVs, but unfortunately they were only showing club promotions what I was there. We're already here. What's the point? 

Quality of Dancers (7.5) Two were two absolutely smokin and a 3rd was way too skinny for me but still hot and right up some guys' alleys. 

Variety (0.5/5) There were some curves but all the girls were white, which isn't terribly surprising given the location. 

Number of dancers (2/5) There were only 4 dancers there during my evening visit, and two of those only appeared during their stage shows. Even though the club was dead, that wasn't enough dancers. 

Atmosphere (6.5/10) It could be solid with a group despite the less than ideal seating. Good music. Mostly R&B hip hop. 

Value (5.5/10) $10 cover, $5.50 Spotted Cow and $4.50 domestics. Lots of specials. 3 for 2 dances on Mondays and Tuesdays. 3 for $80 nude dances. $20 topless dances. Decent stage value with nude shows and a little contact. 

Dances (10.5/20) Good grind but lots of "don't touch the dancers" signs. 2 way not encouraged and probably not allowed other than the outsides of their legs, but I didn't push my luck. Only real downer was that, during the 3 for $80 nude dance set, one girl had to stop to take a shit. Can't say I was entirely comfortable with here grinding on my leg for the song and a half that was left after she finished that.  

Dance Setup (4/10)  nude downstairs in private booths with wooden walls and sheer curtain and comfy leather love seat. Would be 7.5/10, but the topless dance area isn't as good. Top less along back wall. That would earn them a  0.5 so I'll split it. 

Attitudes (3/10) I wasn't impressed. They didn't circulate. Two of the 4 stayed in the dressing room. They ask for tips and otherwise ignore guys. 3

Location (4/5) Technically, the location isn't great, but huge props from them offering a free shuttle to local hotels. I wish every club did that.

Overall - This place had a ton of potential, but it seemed like I might have visited them on an off night with only a few dancers in such a large, nice club. I hope to get back to re-evaluate, but that may have to wait for a while.  

RAW SCORE = 49.5