Mardi Gras Club (Springfield, MA)

Quality of dances (9/20) – The communal dance room prevents anyone from being too free with the two-way contact, but most of the girls are fine with customers touching theirs legs and asses during the dances, and almost all of the girls give a solid grind. The dances are fully nude, but it takes most of the first song for the clothes to come off. I did witness one girl really getting after it with a customer, but other dancers promptly ratted her out because she was removing the incentive for people to spend big cash in the VIP room. The girls imply that you'll be satisfied in the VIP area upstairs, but I've never confirmed that.

Quality of dancers (6/10) – A lot of the girls have nice faces and decent bodies, but shitty boob jobs ruin at least half the girls in the place. The percentage of fake tits is so high that I used to assume that management demanded that everyone get work done, but the same guy runs the largely silicone-free Anthony's in South Hadley, so I have no idea what's going on. It really is a shame though. I'll take nice perky Bs or even flapjacks over implants anyday.

Number of dancers (6/10) – There seem to be about 15 dancers whether the club is busy or not, but there are often so many guys in the place that it still isn’t enough for you to get much one-on-one attention.  Still, there are always several girls on stage at a time, so you'll have plenty to look at to keep yourself entertained while you wait.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (4/5) – You’ll find plenty of black, white and Latina girls, and plenty of thick and thin girls here. What you won’t find is more than a few sets of real tits.

Attitude of Dancers (4/10) – The girls are generally good about counting dances and don't hustle too much, but they just don’t look like they’re enjoying being on stage. Of course, the stage is a death-trap, so I can’t really blame them too much for that.

Value (4/10) – Drinks are reasonable and dances are $25, but the cover can be up to $10 in the evenings and you may have to pay $5 to park in the lot if you don't want to park on the street. Lot parking is free at times, but I'm not sure of the exact schedule.

Dance Setup (0.5/10) – There’s a large, open, brightly lit room where everyone gets dances. The only reasons that I gave them half a point are that people at the bar can't see you and there are dividers along the benches, so at least you aren’t bumping knees with other dudes.

Club Setup (6.5/10) – Mardi Gras is huge and the New Orleans theme runs throughout the club. I took off a few points because of a lack of large tables, but overall, I really liked their unique design. The bar takes up most of the main room, and the stage is inside the bar, but it comes right up to some of the chairs and within about a foot of the others. There are trenches all through the stage where the bar tenders walk to give you your drinks, and it's hard to blame the dancers for being afraid that they’ll fall off while drunk. To get onto the stage, the girls have to climb up a little ladder like you use to get out of a swimming pool. The design may be the least practical I've ever seen, but it does allow for some great views of the fully nude action. Almost everyone sits at the bar, but there is also a large open room with a few pool tables off to the side and there's an area in the back that's setup more like a restaurant, and it's a decent option if you don't like sitting stage-side.

Club Atmosphere (6.5/10) – This is one of the few Massachusetts clubs that I wouldn’t mind staying at for a few hours. The music’s good, the drinks are reasonable, the girls don’t pester you too much for dances, and the stage always has at least 3 girls on it. There was a murder here in early ’09, but that seems to have been an anomaly, as the crowd seems perfectly safe now.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – The club is right in downtown Springfield, which is really only a good thing if you live there. There are a few hotels nearby, but I don't think that Mardi Gras is quite good enough to justify making a visit an overnight trip.

Overall – If you aren't interested in getting a VIP dance, Mardi Gras is pretty good club by Massachusetts standards. If you're willing to drop some cash, it's quite possibly even better.

TOTAL SCORE = 50.5

Mardi Gras II (East Windsor, CT)

Quality of Dances (11/20) – I've gotten some decent grind action and have been allowed to touch the legs and hips, but the dance setup doesn't really allow things to get too intimate. It's probably worth getting a dance if you're already in the club, but I wouldn't go out of my way for it.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – Almost every girl in this place is pretty, but not stunningly so. I haven't seen many dancers here that I'd rate below a 6 or above an 8. That still puts them in the upper echelon of Connecticut clubs, but it would be nice to see a knockout once in a while.

Number of Dancers (6/10) – Mardi Gras II has a lot of girls working on the Friday and Saturday nights, but the place can get packed, so it can still be hard to get a girl for a dance. On the bright side, at least you do get to watch several girls on stage at a time while you wait. The crowds aren't bad during the day, but obviously there aren't as many girls working then either.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (3/5) – I've seen some black girls and a few Latinas, but the majority of the girls here are white. There's a decent mix of body types, but all of the girls that I've seen have been at least relatively fit.

Attitude of dancers (3/10) – When this place is packed, no girls will be spending more than a minute or two with any individual guy, but they do seem to be friendly for the most part once your get their attention. The small gap between customers and the stage also makes interaction a little more difficult than it should be, and one loyal reader has reported that the dancers aren't overly inviting to couples.

Value (8/10) – You'll have a hard time finding a better deal than a $3 weekend evening cover and $3 drafts. The dances are a reasonable value at $20 each and you get a great show for a few bucks at the stage, but the beer prices are what really make this place ideal for a cheap outing.

Dance Setup (3/10) – The dances are given in a sectioned off area in the corner of the club on several small individual couches.  They aren't particularly comfortable and allow the guy across from you to watch your dance, but they do at least provide some separation and are a huge improvement over the way the dance area was setup a few years ago.

Club Setup (4/10) – The bar is enormous and takes up almost the entire club, and the stage is inside the bar area. There's a narrow area between the bar and the stage where the bartenders can walk to deliver drinks, so you're a little further from the dancers than you'd be in most clubs, but a lot of them go over the channel and dance on the actual bar. They only have a few tables that aren't at the bar, but unfortunately, the lack of non-bar/non-stage space in the club makes it unlikely that this problem will ever be corrected.

Club Atmosphere (7/10) – The lack of tables is the only thing that really holds this club back from being a great place for large groups to hang out, but it's still a lot of fun for small groups or solo outings.

Club Accessibility (1/5) –This club is between Springfield and Hartford, but isn't particularly close to either. It's a shame that a place with such amazing drink prices isn't close enough to any metropolitan areas/hotels to allow you to take full advantage without worrying about having a designated driver.

Overall – This is one of the better clubs in northern Connecticut, but unless the dance setup improves, I just can't justify going here when the Electric Blue is only 20 minutes away. Mardi Gras II would be a very solid choice though if you're looking for a change of pace or aren't particularly interested in lap dances.

TOTAL SCORE = 53.5

Updated: February, 2012