Club Downtown (Montreal, QC)

Quality of Dances (14/20) - One of the best things about Montreal is that you can grab a handful of titty in just about every club, and Downtown is no exception. The only real variation (other than at "upscale" places like Wanda's) is the quality of the grind, and that's well above average in this club. I haven't seen any signs of extras, but if you're looking to push your luck in one of the clubs in this area of Ste. Catherine, this would probably be your best shot.

Quality of Dancers (7/10) - The girls here are hot even by Montreal standards, but they have way more than their fair share of fake breasts.

Number of Dancers (6/10) – Club Downtown is full of dancers, but there are so many customers on busy weekends that it can still be hard to find someone for a dance. It's right down the street from the Centre Bell, so there's a particularly poor dancer-to-customer ratio when there's a Habs game or a concert.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) - They have a decent mix of black and white dancers, but thin white blondes are over represented and there aren't a whole lot of curvier ladies.

Attitude of dancers (2/10) – A lot of the girls in this place are stuck up. I admit that they're attractive, but they aren't quite as hot as they think they are. I've been more impressed with the attitudes during the day shift, probably because there aren't 100 other customers waiting to hand a dancer cash if she pisses you off.

Value (6/10) – The $5 cover is about average, the drinks are expensive (as they are everywhere in Montreal), and the dances are an excellent value at $15 each. This place isn't a bad value, but it's tough to look good on the value scale when Cafe Cleopatra and its $10 dances are just a 10 minute walk away.

Dance Setup (8.5/10) – Dances are given in small booths on 3rd floor of building. They have curtains on the entrance to each booth, and although they're somewhat sheer, they're thick enough that no one can see in unless they stand there and stare - which they thankfully don't. They even get a bonus point for the airline safety style drawings reminding your drunk ass of their dance rules. Hands on the ass - ok. Pulling down their bottoms - not so much.

Club Setup (3/10) – The setup is the same as everywhere else on this block - narrow club on 2nd floor, small stage, small crowded bar and a bunch of small tables. The only thing that sets this place apart is the urinal, which is a waterfall that you piss into. It's not much, but I'm easily amused when I'm drunk.

Club Atmosphere (7/10) – This place has a great party vibe and is somewhere that you could spend several hours. As with all of the clubs in this area, there are always going to be some obnoxious tourists, but it's just too much fun for me to really care.

Club Accessibility (5/5) – Club Downtown is so accessible that you can sneak in a visit even if you're on a romantic getaway to Montreal with your girlfriend. Just say you're going to grab some poutine and run. Or so I've heard.

Overall – If the girls' attitudes would improve, this place would probably slightly beat out Super Contact for the title of best club on Rue Saint Catherine. As is, it's good enough to keep me coming back, but not so good as to ever get me to spend an entire evening here. It's definitely worth a visit though, especially if you're staying nearby or going to any of the other clubs in this part of town.

TOTAL SCORE = 59.5