Sunday, January 27, 2013

Baby Dolls (Dallas, TX)

Quality of Dances (9/20) – You’ll rarely find more variation from one girl to the next than at Baby Dolls.  A good dance here is very good, with most girls being fine with hands on the tits, but a bad dance here is pretty poor and I did witness several girls moving customers’ hands away if they roamed anywhere beyond the hips.  In general, you’ll get at least a weak grind, but I was a little disappointed in the dances overall.

Quality of Dancers (8/10) – The dancers here were a step down from the quality at the Men’s Club down the street, but I thought they were a little bit better than the girls at The Lodge.  If you like overdone implants, you’d probably prefer The Lodge, but either way, the ladies at Baby Dolls are generally very attractive and you shouldn’t have any problem finding a girl that you like.

Number of Dancers (10/10) – I don’t know that I’ve ever seen more girls in a club than at this place.  There were about 5 dancers on the one stage, two on the other, and a ton of girls working the crowd.  I actually may have preferred that they cut down on the number a little bit so that they could have some quality control, but I’ll never complain too much about a club having too many girls, and it’s easy enough to avoid the ones who aren’t your type. 

Variety of Dancers (2.5/5) – Most of the dancers are white, but I did see some Latinas and a few Asians, and there were some ladies with very nice curves.   

Attitudes (2/10) – Most of the girls won’t speak to unfamiliar faces other than to ask if you want a dance.  A few will sit and chat, but this definitely isn’t a place to come for conversation unless you’re a regular.  Since they have so many ladies, though, it’s actually a good thing that they don’t waste too much time chatting so that the next one will have a chance to see if you want a dance.     

Value (7/10) – The $3 cover is a bargain, $5.50 beers aren’t bad, and the $20 dances are reasonable, but the real value comes from just sitting back and watching the stage.  The floor work is decent, you can get reasonably good action at the rail for a few bucks, and there are so many women to look at that you’ll never get bored.   

Club Setup (8/10) – This place is huge.  There’s a very large main stage, 4 satellite sages on the one side and two more stages near the stairs, plus there’s an enormous bar in the center of the club and another on the second floor, and there’s plenty of seating with a mix of small tables, bar seating, and some high top tables. It’s a little rundown, the bar is way too bright and there are no poles on the stages, but the fact that you have a view of so many in-use stages more than makes up for the club’s other shortcomings.

Dance Setup (2/10) – You can get your dances on the second floor in chairs along the wall or you can sit in an area behind the stage where there a bunch of chairs and tables.  Either way, you won’t be obscured from the view of anyone near you except by the back of your chair, but people on the main floor at least won’t be able to see you, though one way glass does allow you to have a view of the main stage if you’re on the first floor. Unfortunately, dances at Baby Dolls are popular, so you’ll always have a lot of people near you while you’re getting yours. 

Atmosphere (8/10) – The DJ is obnoxious and there’s lots of country music, but overall I really liked the atmosphere here.  It’s definitely more of a party than the Men’s Club.  That’s where you go with business partners; this is where you go with your buddies when you’re planning to get rocked. 

Location (4/5) – The best strip clubs in Dallas are all in this area to the northwest of the city, so you’ll be near some other options if you stop by and don’t see any girls who interest you.   More importantly, Baby Dolls is within walking distance of several hotels and a Waffle House, both of which are necessities if you’re planning to drink anywhere near as much as I did.

Overall  - This is an excellent club overall, though the mediocre lap dances mean that I’m not going to be in a huge hurry to return.  Still, given the huge number of attractive girls and the party vibe, I don’t think anyone could have a bad time at Baby Dolls. 

RAW SCORE = 60.5

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Hinomaru (Tokyo, Japan)

Hinomaru is the kind of place that you'll walk out of feeling worse about yourself and the world. Ordinarily, that would be all that you need to know, but this is unfortunately one of the few adult entertainment options for gaijin in Tokyo, so I'll let you decide for yourself whether it's something that you're interested in. It's definitely not a strip club or a bar, but I don't know what exactly to call it.  I guess the best way to describe it is that it’s sortof like a blowjob only brothel, but even that makes it sound more appealing than it really is.

When you arrive, you go up the stairs and point at a girl from one of several pictures (I’d say “choose,” but the girl you get bears no resemblance to the one you attempt to pick), then you get to go to your seat with a random girl, you give her 4000 yen, and you get a 15 minute bareback blowjob.  The girls aren’t horrible looking, but they’re mostly a little older and more than a little worn.  There are several love seats lined up in front of each other, so you’re facing other guys’ backs, but there’s a mirror at the front of the row and anyone who is walking by to their seats has an unobstructed view of you, so it’s definitely not a place to go if you’re shy or if you’ll be freaked out by a glimpse of Japanese cock. 

Basically, Hinomaru is a depressing place that I never plan to go again, but I can’t blame you for checking it out since the options for non-Japanese are extremely limited in Kabukicho despite it being the largest red light district in East Asia.  To get there, just follow the map below and look for the building that matches the street-view screen shot.  Good luck.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Lodge (Dallas, TX)

Quality of Dances (12.5/20) – As with everywhere around here, your mileage may vary big time, but most girls give a good grind and two way contact is generally fine.  I don’t know how common extras are, but at least some of the ladies are pretty direct in offering them.  Without any prompting, I got this sales pitch from one of the first girls I accepted a dance from: “Are you sure you just want a lap dance? I bet you’d like getting your cock sucked even more.”

Quality of Dancers (6/10) – There are a ton of ridiculously overdone implants and too man post-plastic surgery faces at the Lodge, but nothing about this place made me expect subtlety.  A lot of guys like comic book tits, and, if you do, you’ll love this place.  I don’t, so I didn’t, but the ladies are relatively attractive overall even though it’s a definite step down from what you’d find at Baby Dolls or the Men’s Club. 

Number of Dancers (7/10) – They have one girl on the main stage, one girl on each of two satellite stages, and another girl dancing on a stage in the back, plus many girls work the crowd at all times.  It does seem to be somewhat of a local’s place and I didn’t get a whole lot of attention, but there are definitely plenty of women to look at.

Variety of Dancers (1.5/5) – Other than a few cute black dancers, this workforce was white and thin, mostly with enhanced tits. 

Attitudes (3.5/10) – These ladies aren’t unfriendly, but you shouldn’t expect much conversation before they ask for money because they’d understandably rather spend time with regulars than take a chance on an unfamiliar face.

Value (3/10) – There’s a $10 cover, beers are $6.75, and table dances are $20, so you’re not going to burn through money, but nothing is a bargain with the possible exception of the stage show, which usually allows you to get a little contact for a few bucks.

Club Setup (6.5/10) – You’re either going to love or hate the setup at this place. The ladies enter the main stage by walking out of a fake cave that’s surrounded by a stuffed leopard and various other animals, and the whole thing really looks more like a cheesy theme restaurant than a strip club.  The chandelier made of antlers really completes the look. Like a lot of the Texas clubs, there’s no pole on the main stage, but there are at least polls on the satellite stages at the Lodge, and everyone has a decent view from the small tables that fill the main room and the nice bar off to the one side.  There’s also another room in the back with a small stage, lots of chairs and another nice bar, and there are a few more seats upstairs. Overall, I think this may be the most ridiculous looking club in the world, but I do have to give them credit for being unique. 

Dance Setup (0/10) – You get your dance at your seat on the main floor, which is as bad as it gets.  Based on the offer of a bj, I assume there’s another location available for people who are willing to pay more, but no one pointed it out to me and I wasn’t interested in finding it anyway.

Atmosphere (6/10) – The Lodge tries to walk the fine line between having a party vibe and being an upscale gentlemen’s type of place. It doesn’t fully pull off either, but it’s not an uncomfortable place to hang out for a bit and have a few beers.

Location (3.5/5) – This isn’t downtown Dallas, but you’re within an easy cab ride of The Lodge from several hotels and two of the other top strip clubs in the area, Baby Dolls and The Men’s Club.  If you’re planning to make a night of hitting the Dallas strip clubs, you’ll be staying in this area, so the location is fine. 

Overall – I have no doubt that a lot of men will love The Lodge.  It’s got flash and big titted ladies and good lap dances with some available extras, and there’s really nothing wrong with that.  It’s just not my style, so I don’t have plans to return anytime soon. 

RAW SCORE = 49.5

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Seventh Heaven (Tokyo, Japan)

Quality of Dances (11/20) –Two way contact is expected, there’s some grinding, and some girls make hand contact with your crotch, but you shouldn’t be coming in your pants here unless you’ve got a very quick trigger.  That's not my style anyway, but I can't really blame some guys for expecting an effort to finish the job since you're paying about $85 US for each dance.  

Quality of Dancers (8/10) – I'd have preferred to see less implants, but it's still hard to have any major complaints about the ladies at Seventh Heaven.  Almost all of them are very attractive in a generic Eastern European sort of way.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – Two girls are on stage at all times and they have more than enough working the crowd to make sure that every group of guys is accompanied by at least one lady.  In total, there were probably a little over two dozen dancers working on the night that I was there.   

Variety of Dancers (2/5) – Surprisingly, there aren’t many Japanese women at Seventh Heaven, but there are at least a few, and there was one very attractive black dancer mixed in with all of the Russians. 

Attitudes (6/10) – This place operates on the drink hustle system, but most of the ladies are relatively friendly and will leave you alone if you turn them down when the club presents a lineup of girls for you to chose from upon your arrival. 

Value (0/10) – Even though it includes two free drinks, the 7000 yen (about $85 US) cover is ridiculous, and the 1500 yen beers and 7000 yen four minute lap dances aren’t much better.  You can probably negotiate a slightly lower cover charge, but even if they waive it (they almost certainly will not), a night at Seventh Heaven will not be cheap.  On the bright side, you do get free edamame to snack on.     

Club Setup (5.5/10) – This is a medium sized club, but it feels cramped since there’s a huge divider in the club that effectively splits it in half and prevents you from seeing anything that’s happening on the other side.  There’s a small stage on each side, a small bar in the back and several nice couches, tables and chairs throughout, which do give it a slightly classy look.

Dance Setup (7/10) – The night was pretty hazy by this point and I forgot to write down any notes about the dance setup, but I’m fairly certain that I had a private room. Or at least I wasn’t sober enough to notice anyone else in there. 

Atmosphere (6/10) – For better or worse (I think worse), between the American music and the white girls, there’s nothing Japanese about the vibe in this place.  The crowd is somewhat mixed, but it’s mostly made up of locals with white fever, though all of the Japanese guys were fighting over the one Japanese dancer on the night that I was there. Go figure.

Since dances are so expensive, most people seem to just hang out, drink a few overpriced beers and take in the stage show.  It’s fairly weak for the most part, but I do have to give one girl credit for the most impressive (or most reckless) move I’ve ever seen.  She had a guy lay down on the stage with cash on mouth, then she spun around the pole several times with her knees just inches over him before coming to rest with her crotch on his face to take the cash.  Either she knew exactly where her knees were or she didn’t care if she knocked out all of his teeth, because it was a matter of inches.     

Location (5/5) – Seventh Heaven is within easy walking distance of many hotels and the Roppongi Metro stop. 

Overall – Seventh Heaven isn’t a bad club, but it’s certainly nowhere near being the #7 strip club in the world, as it was ranked by If I was in Tokyo for months on end and got homesick for a Western style strip club, I’d probably stop by again, but it’s not worth the cash otherwise. 

RAW SCORE = 46.5