Sunday, December 26, 2010

Le Gentlemen's Choice (Montreal, QC)

Quality of Dances (11.5/20) – Tit grabbing is encouraged, but I was told that there is "no touching with your mouth, no touching between the legs and no grinding." The first two of those restrictions are pretty standard, but the no grinding policy is odd. Thankfully, not all of the girls follow that one, but even if they do, it's a strange thing to point out to customers. If you're more interested in looking than touching, you can also get a no-contact nude dance where some of the girls touch themselves for an extra $5. I'd much rather have them leave their bottoms on so that I can participate in the dance, but it's nice to have options available for those who want them.

Quality of Dancers (6/10) – These girls are reasonably attractive for anywhere else, but they're on the low end of what you're find in Montreal. Still, there are usually two or three very attractive girls working most nights and I don't think Montreal even allows truly ugly girls inside the city limits.

Number of Dancers (5.5/10) – They don't usually have as many dancers as most of the other nearby clubs, but since they don't usually get all that busy, you shouldn't have to compete with too many other guys for dances. You'll generally find more dancers than customers in here, especially early in the evening.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2.5/5) – They usually have a mix of black and white dancers, with several Caribbean dancers there on some nights. Most of the girls that I've seen have been thin enough that it's nice to look at them on stage, but I'd like to see a few slightly thicker girls to give me something to grab onto during the contact dances. Half the fun of being able to grab titties is gone if they're tiny, and all the fun is gone if they're fake.

Attitude of Dancers (6/10) – Most of the girls that I've run into here have been fairly friendly with lots of smiles whether they're on stage or chatting with customers. Thanks to the relative lack of customers, most of the dancers are more than willing to sit and talk even for a while before asking if you want a dance. They do lose a few points for not offering to get change if you hand them a twenty for a $15 dance, but overall, I have no real complaints about the attitudes.

Value (5.5/10) – The $7.50 beers are about average for Montreal, but it's nice that they have an option to buy a pitcher for $20. As with everywhere else in Montreal, you don't have to tip at the stage and, as with most of the other places, the stage action is fully nude. The topless contact dances are $15 each and the nude no-contact dances are $20, both of which are fairly standard for Montreal but good deals nonetheless.

Dance Setup (6/10) – Lap dances are given in booths with no door, but no one can see in unless they're walking by. One nice touch at this place is that they have mirrors in front of the booths so you can see what you're grabbing on to.

Club Setup (3/10) – The setup here is exactly the same as at Club Downtown next door - the long but narrow club is on the 2nd floor of the building, it has a small bar to the left when you walk in and a smaller than average stage on the right side toward the back of the club. You can either sit at the stage or at one of the many tiny tables that are scattered around the room. It isn't great, but you'll be spending most of your time getting lap dances, so it isn't really a big deal.

Club Atmosphere (5.5/10) – Due to the relative lack of customers, this place doesn't have the same party vibe as a lot of the Montreal clubs. Still, Molson Export + Quebecois titties = Fun, so I've always managed to have a good time.

Club Accessibility (5/5) – Le Gentlemen's Choice is within a few blocks of the Centre Bell, the Crescent Street bars, several other strip club and many decent hotels. Basically, it has the best location ever.

Overall – Just like the now-closed Temptations club a block away, Le Gentlemen's Choice is a decent club that just can't stack up against the stiff competition from all of the other Montreal clubs. Strip club connoisseurs in cities like Boston or Toronto would kill to have even one club as good as Le Gentlemen's Choice, but since you could get to a half dozen better clubs within 10 minutes, it isn't worth your time.


Monday, December 20, 2010

Scores (Springfield, MA) - CLOSED

Quality of Dances (16/20) – Upon sitting down for my first dance here, the girl immediately reached to unzip my pants.  When I told her that I just wanted a standard aggressive dance, she said most of the girls there would "probably shit themselves" when they find out that a customer wasn't interested in a handie.  The score would be higher, but the actual dances are a little disappointing since actual dancing doesn't appear to be a focus here.   

Quality of Dancers (1.5/10) – As you'd expect at an urban club such as this, most of the girls are on the larger side. In fact, when they were the Club 418, they advertised that they had the "Biggest Girls in New England." I don't think they quite earn that title anymore (a few of the Bridgeport clubs are the current favorites for that distinction), but they're certainly in the running. Some of the girls are disgusting, but a few are tolerable and you'll usually be able to find a girl or two worth getting a dance from.  This number would go up to around a 4 if there was any quality control whatsoever, but there's not.    

Number of Dancers (5/10) – This is a small club and the number of dancers is about what you'd expect, but the dancer-to-customer ratio is always favorable, rarely falling far below 1-to-1.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3/5) - I've only see black and white dancers here, but there's a wide variety of body types (emphasis on wide).

Attitude of Dancers (4.5/10) – Most of the girls are reasonably friendly, but I had to hear a few too many sob stories about car troubles and the other customary "please give me a good tip" topics. On a more positive note, this isn't the type on place that's going to get a lot of random visitors, so they try particularly hard to keep the regulars happy.

Value (5.5/10) – The drinks and nighttime cover are a fairly standard 4 or 5 dollars each, and you'll get a needlessly graphic stage show for a buck or two, but the "dances" are what will make or break the value of this place for most customers.  Twenty five dollars is a lot for a lap dance, but it's not much for the other services that they're provide during the "dances," so the value really depends on what you're looking for.  I was quoted $130 for the VIP dances, but you might be able to negotiate a better value if you try.  I definitely did not, because I had no interest in engaging in what I suspect happens back there with these ladies for any price.  

Dance Setup (1/10) – There's a small curtained off area in the back of the club for the regular dances, but you're not shielded at all from other dance customers and people at some parts of the bar can see you as well.  If you're willing to drop some more cash for the VIP dances, you get a couch inside a curtained booth, but you'd be better off just going somewhere else if you're even considering spending more than $50.

Club Setup (0.5/10) – This place is a dump.  There are one or two tables, but everyone sits at the large bar, and the stage is inside the bar.  There's a channel down the center of the stage so the bartender can try to reach across the stage to pass customers drinks, but it's a really poorly thought-out setup.  

Club Atmosphere (0/10) – This is the old Club 418 which shut down for about a year after several people were shot here in 2009.  The club has a different name and a metal detector, but not a whole lot else has changed.  It doesn't seem all that dangerous here during the day, but this isn't a club that I'd have any interest in visiting at night.  They also lose points because of the half hour stage sets, and they don't even allow girls end their sets early if a customer asks them for a dance.  It's not quiet as bad as it sounds since several girls dance at a time, but it's a ridiculous policy that doesn't benefit the dancers or the customers. I have to believe the policy will be short-lived though, so it may not be an issue by the time you're reading this.      

Club Accessibility (2.5/5) – This club is in downtown Springfield and isn't all that far from a few hotels, but it isn't in the greatest area.  I wouldn't recommend getting stupid drunk here anyway though, so the fact that you'll probably be driving to get to Scores isn't a huge problem.

Overall – If you're looking for high-mileage lap dances, this place is a solid, if somewhat dangerous, option.  If you're looking for anything else, you're better off going elsewhere.


Note: Scores was formerly known as Lace and Club 418.  It exploded on November 23, 2012.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sweetheart's (Vernon, CT)

Note: Sweetheart's was formerly Kahoots Vernon.

Quality of Dances (16/20) - There's a lot of variation from girl to girl, but everyone offers a good grind with the help of the handles on the sides of the booths and allows full 2-way contact.  Most of the girls also make at least some contact with their hands over the pants, and many of the girls offer extras.

Quality of Dancers (4/10) - Most of these girls are somewhat attractive but few if any of them are great.  If you know the quality of girls at the other local clubs, I'd say that these ladies fall about midway between what you'd find at Kahoots in East Hartford and at the Blue in Tolland.  The way they look wouldn't really be a problem though if it weren't for the the amount of wear and tear on most of these girls. Some nights, it isn't too bad, but other nights you can literally see the track marks.  On those nights, even knowing how good the dances are, I just can't justify allowing any of the ladies to touch my pants.

Number of Dancers (1.5/10) - I saw two girls here during my first visit, and even though I was told that I was there at a particularly slow time, 8:30 pm on a weekday should never be that slow.  There have been closer to a half dozen girls working during my other visits, but that's still not nearly enough.  Plus the girls seem to spend a lot of time with regulars, so infrequent visitors might have a tough time getting a girl's attention without dropping some cash at the stage.  And they don't even necessarily encourage that.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) - I've seen mostly young white girls at Sweethearts, but there's usually a least one Latina working as well.  They employ girls of all body types, though you might not see too much variation on any given night since there might only be 2-4 girls in the place.

Attitude of Dancers (2.5/10) - I've seen several girls just sit down with their top on and talk to a guy for the entire set. I just sit there with a wad of dollar bills ready to go, but a girl has to at least give a little effort if she expects a tip.  You don't tip a waitress before she serves the meal, so I'm not sure why some ladies think they should get a tip before taking the titties out.  The girls haven't been too bad to talk to other than that, but if you don't buy a dance fairly quickly, they'll be right back to the regulars.

Club Setup (5.5/10) - Though it isn't huge, the stage is fairly nice and is plenty big for two girls to dance at a time.  The stage has a very wide edge that separates customers from the dance floor, but most of the girls just crawl around on it to get closer to you.  The small 2-person booths that surround the stage are also a nice option if you're visiting by yourself or with one other guy.  The bar is fairly small and is surrounded by flat screen TVs, but there are no TVs in the much larger main room.  There's also there a pool table and a few decent tables there near the bar in view of the TVs.   Overall, this place isn't particularly well thought out, but it's still a lot nicer inside than you'd expect from the parking lot.

Dance Setup (7/10) - Lap dances are given in nice large booths with large sides and a roof.  It almost feels like you're getting into the cockpit of a strange R-rated space shuttle when you sit down.  Even though there's no door on the booths, no one can see you unless they're walking by because there's a curtain down the center of the room that prevents people in the opposing booths from watching. Also, since the booths are in a separate area of the club, it's fairly rare for anyone to walk by.  There are curiously bright lights in each booth, but most of the girls thankfully turn those off before they get down to business.

Atmosphere (1.5/10) - Sweetheart's seems safe enough, but the small bar and the tiny booths prevent it from being ideal for groups.  I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it is, but I just generally don't get a great feeling from the place

Value (1.5/10) - I can deal with the $5 cover in the evenings, the $4 drinks and the decent topless stage action, but the $30 dances are brutal.  Dances were recently $20 each, but I guess they assumed that the perfect time to raise prices by 50% is during a recession.

Accessibility (1.5/5) - Sweetheart's isn't too far from Hartford, but it isn't particularly close to the interstate or anything else noteworthy.

Overall - Sweetheart's is fairly mediocre overall, but the lap dances are good enough to make it a fun place if dances are your top priority.  The problem for them is that they can't get by on lap dances alone when they're located less than 10 minutes away from some of the most aggressive (in a good way) dancers in the United States over at Electric Blue.  If you're just passing through the area, the Blue is the way to go, but if you're always around here and are looking to mix things up, you'll probably have a decent time at Sweethearts.   Honestly though, why would you want to mix things up from the Blue?


Saturday, December 4, 2010

Some Updates

I'm getting fairly close to launching a proper website, The Stripper Poll.  The first draft is done and I'll be going live once I get it cleaned up and make sure the searches are all functioning properly. will be the place to find all my latest news and reviews. In addition, you'll be able to read my bachelor party guides, find out more about my featured dancers, and locate and compare all the best clubs in your area with a convenient search utility. For the dancers and club owners who are reading this, I'll be looking to line up some dancers of the month, so let me know if you're interested.  

In the meantime, I'll keep the new reviews coming on here every Sunday evening, so keep your eyes peeled and check back regularly to make sure you're not missing anything!