Mardi Gras Club (Springfield, MA)

Quality of dances (9/20) – The communal dance room prevents anyone from being too free with the two-way contact, but most of the girls are fine with customers touching theirs legs and asses during the dances, and almost all of the girls give a solid grind. The dances are fully nude, but it takes most of the first song for the clothes to come off. I did witness one girl really getting after it with a customer, but other dancers promptly ratted her out because she was removing the incentive for people to spend big cash in the VIP room. The girls imply that you'll be satisfied in the VIP area upstairs, but I've never confirmed that.

Quality of dancers (6/10) – A lot of the girls have nice faces and decent bodies, but shitty boob jobs ruin at least half the girls in the place. The percentage of fake tits is so high that I used to assume that management demanded that everyone get work done, but the same guy runs the largely silicone-free Anthony's in South Hadley, so I have no idea what's going on. It really is a shame though. I'll take nice perky Bs or even flapjacks over implants anyday.

Number of dancers (6/10) – There seem to be about 15 dancers whether the club is busy or not, but there are often so many guys in the place that it still isn’t enough for you to get much one-on-one attention.  Still, there are always several girls on stage at a time, so you'll have plenty to look at to keep yourself entertained while you wait.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (4/5) – You’ll find plenty of black, white and Latina girls, and plenty of thick and thin girls here. What you won’t find is more than a few sets of real tits.

Attitude of Dancers (4/10) – The girls are generally good about counting dances and don't hustle too much, but they just don’t look like they’re enjoying being on stage. Of course, the stage is a death-trap, so I can’t really blame them too much for that.

Value (4/10) – Drinks are reasonable and dances are $25, but the cover can be up to $10 in the evenings and you may have to pay $5 to park in the lot if you don't want to park on the street. Lot parking is free at times, but I'm not sure of the exact schedule.

Dance Setup (0.5/10) – There’s a large, open, brightly lit room where everyone gets dances. The only reasons that I gave them half a point are that people at the bar can't see you and there are dividers along the benches, so at least you aren’t bumping knees with other dudes.

Club Setup (6.5/10) – Mardi Gras is huge and the New Orleans theme runs throughout the club. I took off a few points because of a lack of large tables, but overall, I really liked their unique design. The bar takes up most of the main room, and the stage is inside the bar, but it comes right up to some of the chairs and within about a foot of the others. There are trenches all through the stage where the bar tenders walk to give you your drinks, and it's hard to blame the dancers for being afraid that they’ll fall off while drunk. To get onto the stage, the girls have to climb up a little ladder like you use to get out of a swimming pool. The design may be the least practical I've ever seen, but it does allow for some great views of the fully nude action. Almost everyone sits at the bar, but there is also a large open room with a few pool tables off to the side and there's an area in the back that's setup more like a restaurant, and it's a decent option if you don't like sitting stage-side.

Club Atmosphere (6.5/10) – This is one of the few Massachusetts clubs that I wouldn’t mind staying at for a few hours. The music’s good, the drinks are reasonable, the girls don’t pester you too much for dances, and the stage always has at least 3 girls on it. There was a murder here in early ’09, but that seems to have been an anomaly, as the crowd seems perfectly safe now.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – The club is right in downtown Springfield, which is really only a good thing if you live there. There are a few hotels nearby, but I don't think that Mardi Gras is quite good enough to justify making a visit an overnight trip.

Overall – If you aren't interested in getting a VIP dance, Mardi Gras is pretty good club by Massachusetts standards. If you're willing to drop some cash, it's quite possibly even better.

TOTAL SCORE = 50.5