Sunday, June 3, 2012

Oasis (Philadelphia, PA)

Quality of Dances (12/20) – These are fairly good dances, with a decent grind, some over the pants contact, and plenty of tit grabbing encouragement.  Plus several of the girls were intent on kissing my nipples.  That isn’t really my thing, but I guess it’s good to know that it’s available for those who want it.  I’m worried that this score might be too high because it looked like everyone else was getting a fairly mediocre experience, but whether I got lucky or chose well or was just irresistible to the ladies, at least you know it is possible to have a good time here.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – A few of the girls were a little sloppy, but most of them were decent and a few were stunning.  The black dancers and blondes, in particular, were gorgeous, especially considering that the bright lighting exposes any flaws that are present.   

Number of Dancers (6/10) – They have two girls on stage at a time during prime time, but there usually aren’t a whole lot of girls working the crowd.  It’s sufficient, but just barely.

Variety of Dancers (3.5/5) – Most of the girls are white, but there have been some stunning black dancers working during each of my visits, and I’ve always found good size variation. 

Attitudes (1.5/10) – Like at many of the Philly clubs, the tip walk is brutal at Oasis.  I understand why they need to do it since tipping at the stage is difficult if not impossible, but the way that they stand and stare until you tip even if you’re deep in conversation is a little over the top.  One girl even stood behind the bartender and waited until I’d placed my initial drink order before informing me that she’d just gotten off stage before I’d walked in so I should give her a tip.  Seriously?  Even putting aside the tip walk, these girls left a lot to be desired.  Most seemed angry, all asked for tips, and one was intolerable with trying to sell multiple dances by repeating “so you’re just buying 1?” until I agreed to buy a second dance, then repeating “so you’re just buying 2?” until I got up in the middle of the second dance and left.   

Value (7/10) – The $10 cover isn’t too bad and it’s free if you have tickets to a local sporting event, and beers are very reasonable with 2-for-$6 Miller Light specials at times ($5 each otherwise). The $20 dances are a decent value too, the stage action is pretty mediocre, but, even though the constantly approaching tip walkers hurt the value, the fact that the ladies take the tips in their cleavage at least gives you a little something for your money.  

Club Setup (4/10) – Almost all of the seats in here are at the huge bar, and you’ll be looking at the girls on the stages about five feet away from you inside the bar.  Thankfully, there are also a few tables along the other walls and some couches in a raised area that allow you to avoid the tip walk, and there’s also a small stage along the back wall, though I’ve never seen anyone dancing on it.  Overall, this is a clean enough club, but the fact that it’s a little worn is only made more evident by the ridiculously bright lighting and over the top black lights.  There are lots of TVs and a few big screens, so it could be a decent place to watch a game, but don’t wear your white Phillies jersey in here unless you feel like glowing. 

Dance Setup (4/10) – Dances are given in a separate room in the back, and there are several benches with small but adequate dividers between you and anyone else who’s getting a dance.  People who are walking by can see everything and half of the benches have no privacy at all, but no one faces the three benches in the back so they’re fairly private.  If you pick a good dancer, you’ll almost certainly get one of the good benches, and if you don’t, the dance will be so lame that you won’t really care about privacy anyway. 

Atmosphere (4/10) – The tip walk detracts from what should otherwise be a fairly decent atmosphere for hanging out for a while after a game or before a flight.  The crowd is very mixed, with lots of business travelers who are staying nearby at the airport, plenty of partiers, and a few slightly rougher characters.  

Location (3/5) – Oasis is southwest of downtown Philadelphia, but isn’t too far of a drive, and is easily taxiable from the airport.  You aren’t going to be walking to get there, but there are at least options if you get too drunk to drive home. 

Overall – Oasis isn’t a great club, but it’s among the best in Philadelphia, and it may be your best option if you’re looking for decent dances from attractive dancers and are hoping to save a few bucks compared to a visit to the Penthouse Club. 

RAW SCORE = 52.5

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