Sunday, July 18, 2010

Pussy Corps (Montreal, QC)

This is not a strip club, so I'm going to skip the usual format for this one. In case you're wondering why I'm reviewing a place that isn't a strip club, there are 3 reasons:

1. When you're hammered out of your mind and are trying to stumble to Circus at 4am, you'll think it's a strip club, and you'll be tempted to go inside.

2. People are not subtle in their internet searches, and having "pussy" written as many times as possible can't hurt my hit count.
Pussy pussy pussy.

3. I don't need to justify my decision to review a place called "Pussy Corps." It could be a feline grooming service, and I'd still find an excuse to write a review.

With that out of the way, this place is horrible. I walked up the steps into a dimly lit room that looked like it should be a horrible strip club, but the guy at the top of the steps explained to me that I had to pay $60 to chose a girl, then I could go into the private room with her to negotiate further activities. Even in my near blackout state, dropping 6 Cafe Cleopatra lap dances just to chose a girl for who-knows-what seemed like a bad idea, so I convinced him to let me talk to the girls before spending any cash.

Once I saw the girls though, I didn't really care what the options were, because there's nothing that they could have done that would have made up for the way they looked. There were only two to chose from, one of whom was suspiciously thin to the point that it was disturbing, and the other of whom was a pretty face away from being a Plumpers model.

Then things went downhill. The last option disturbed me to the point that I tried to block the whole menu out of my mind, but I'm pretty sure that this is how it went (all prices are in addition to the $60 room fee):
$30 - "I'll dance for you." By way of comparison, for that amount of cash, you could get a bj from one of the streetwalkers that you pass on your way here (not recommended) and have money left over to buy 2 or 3 Cafe Cleopatra dances (highly recommended).
$40 - "I'll dance for you and you can touch me." I guess that means the $90 dance is no contact.
$50 - "I'll dance for you and I'll stick something in my pussy."
$60 - "I'll dance for you and I'll stick something in my pussy and I'll stick something in my ass. You can touch yourself if you want."

The only thing that I wanted at that point was to get the hell out of there, so that's exactly what I did. No money was spent, but time was wasted, and Montreal is a city where I try to make the best use of every second that I've got. The bottom line is that, unless your thing is jerking off while watching a disgusting woman shove stuff up her ass, steer clear of Pussy Corps.

11 comments:

  1. thks!! very usefull! you save me money & time!!

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  2. Juste went there at 3am. 3 girls. 2 average + 1 hyper cute. Show was super cool. So i strongly disagree with this review. Maybe it's not so cool every night, but afetr the show, i had the uniq opportunity to discuss half an hour about montreal history with the boss which is very interesting, with all girls around me (i was alone in the club). Such a uniq experience.

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  3. Agree with last comment!

    1st - u r alone with the girl/girls
    2nd - they are pretty cute in general
    3rd - barman/owner is super awesome
    4th - u get laid for 80$!!

    Could get better but I like the format. Not a meat market as strip clubs, not as trashy as red light hookers.

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  4. About 20 years ago it was 40$ for a 20 minutes dance, some nights you could get 2 girls for 50$. They would also give you a kleenex box and a glass of cheap beer.
    And yeah, they had those specials where you paid 10$ and she would stick a dildo in her vagina, and 20$ should would stick a smaller dildo into her ass.

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  5. This is a brothel, 50 to get in and then 40,60,100 bucks for hand,head and sex respectively

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  6. I had quite a day aside from the packed traffic and gps trouble, the massage parlor I was going to wasn't anywhere near the location I arrived at, which was exactly as it was on the site. I went to a strip club I saw on the way there and the door was locked, not open yet. I then went to another strip club, same thing. Pussy Corps was on the way to the second one but it was across the street, but I went there after. After the fuck around of traffic and three failed attempts I didn't expect much, but I was wrong. Ring the door bell and lady greets you and explains everything up front. 50 to get in 40 for hand 60 for bj 100 for sex. halla fucking lullya just what I was looking for. the 50 gets you in the door + 2 drinks in solo cups. Two girls there cute I'd say 6 or 7 out of 10. They brign you in the room and have a bag full of condoms they put on you. Clean place and very up front. Talkative and nice but I dont speak french and had a hard time understanding anything.

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  7. Anon, sounds like I had the same experience/girl as you $150 total. I hope she was clean as she looked. However her teeth were nasty. Dude at door is a cool guy. Bothers me now knowing how much traffic this place gets. Got everything but the ass for half hour. Also noticed tons of cum stains on sofa in lounge area after I was sitting on it, fucking gross.

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  8. I went here last year and banged a decent looking girl. No i was not drunk. It's a hit or a miss.

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  9. I was hoping for a lap dance. But: 50 to get in and then 40,60,100 bucks for hand, head and sex. Spend 150.

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  10. I went there last week w some friends and the chics were aight but for $150 you get the whole nine yard from dancing to doggystyle action lol

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  11. This is a great place if you have money to spend and for those who do not really have money to spend abstain. What I mean is if you are willing to spend 150$ for 20 - 30 minutes lap dance and extras then fine, for sure you are going to enjoy your time there graciously. Most dudes will prefer to hook-up with a girl on craiglist for a massage and sex at 120$ an hour which is a long time and spend 20$ on drinks elsewhere.

    Kento

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