Sunday, March 20, 2011

Fantasy's Island (Duncannon, PA)

Quality of Dances (7.5/20) – Even though the dances are probably the best thing about this place, they're still average at best.  The girls create some friction with their legs and don't seem to have a problem with customers touching their legs and hips, but your hands better not find their way to the girl's upper body.  If she doesn't enforce the policy (and she almost certainly will), the guy who's watching the closed circuit TV feed of your dance will.

Quality of Dancers (2/10) – Most of these girls have seen better days, and something tells me that they weren't even all that great in their primes. There's some overlap here, but in addition to the worn out girls, there are also lots of fat girls and bad tattoos. There's one lady who is significantly hotter than anyone else in the club, and she'd probably rate as a Duncannon 10. For those of you who aren't familiar with the area, that's the equivalent of about a 6 anywhere else in the free world.

Number of Dancers (2.5/10) – I've found the dancer-to-customer ratio to be acceptable during both of my visits. Still, less than half a dozen girls working on a Friday night and only one girl during my other visit (several years ago) is pretty poor.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (1.5/5) – There are some black and some white dancers and a variety of body types and ages, but the variety is worth a lot less when there's only one hot girl in the building.

Attitude of dancers (0/10) – After giving a girl a $10 tip for 1 dance, I was told, "I won't say anything, but if that's all you're going to tip, most girls will cuss you out." Well I won't say anything, but if you act like that, most guys will call you a raging bitch.

Value (1.5/10) – There's a $15 cover and dances are $25, though 2 are $35, 3 are $45, and 4 are $55.  The worst part is that, thanks to the fact that girls don't get a cut of the dance fee, customers are expected to match all of those prices.  Massages are also offered and those start at $70.  The stage action is fully nude, but it's still fairly weak, even for the rainmakers in the crowd.  The only real plus is that its BYOB, so I highly recommend hitting a package store if you insist on coming to this place (Update: According to one of my readers, they now serve alcohol, so it may no longer by BYOB, but I sure as hell am not going to re-visit it to confirm that).

Dance Setup (4/10) –  Dances are given in a separate room on a couch, so it feels fairly private until you notice the camera pointing right at you and the very bright lighting which means that whoever is monitoring the camera feed won't have any problem seeing what you're up to.

Club Setup (1/10) – This club is located in what appears to be a former rec room on the first floor of a house.  There's a small stage in the corner, several small tables and one couch in back.  The only thing that makes the setup seem tolerable is that it's a lot better than it used to be. A few years ago, the club was located in party bus parked in the driveway of this same shitty house.  At least in the present club you don't have to worry about being kidnapped during your lap dance.

Club Atmosphere (0.5/10) – The smoke, the somewhat rough crowd and the pimpish looking guy making it rain all added up to about as bad an atmosphere as you can get.  They get half a point based on the assumption that it wouldn't be quite as terrible if you bring beer.  Lots and lots of beer.

Club Accessibility (0.5/5) – Like everything else in Duncannon, this place is in the middle of nowhere.  Technically, you could get here from Harrisburg in a little under half an hour, but I really don't know why you'd want to.

Overall – Sadly, I think I preferred this place when it was a bus.  Back then, it was shittily unique; now it's just shitty.  If you need to hit a club in Duncannon, you're much better off across the street at Club Babylon.  Better yet, drive the extra half hour to Wild J's in Port Trevorton.  Of course, the best option of all is to save your cash for some time when you can go to a club that isn't in central Pennsylvania.    

RAW SCORE = 20

10 comments:

  1. This place does suck. Its ever since Chris took over its gotten worse.

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  2. Lindz (china doll)July 8, 2011 at 12:08 AM

    I am trying to open a good burlesque club in duncannon so hopefully if I get enough money soon I will save u from the bad clubs :) I love old school beauty an women with curves not huge but curvy girls. Hello pin up looks and humor. I just need to go look around and figure out how much costs will all be.

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  3. what kind of massages?

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  4. I didn't get one of the massages so I can't say for sure, but I got the sense that they're soft touch body rubs without happy endings. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that some girls offer handies to some regulars, but I wouldn't go in with that expectation.

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  5. I honestly think your reviews are pretty harsh. First off what do expect for cameras? Of course there is going to be cameras and second of yeah, of course the girl expects a full tip. All you men come into the club expecting to be cheap but yet you want us girls to give it all upfront. Its not the greatest club in the world but its not shitty. We are all human and we are expected to have flaws.

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  6. its the sticks of Pennsylvania. its next to the truck stop. what exactly do you expect? just be glad none of the local girls work there. otherwise you'd be seeing toothless inbreds.
    overall, i rate the place as not bad for the area. just not a Manhattan glam club.

    i would also point out, that all of the places owned by this company are different than most clubs. he wants different. he has different. its his niche.

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  7. One of the girls that dances here took my husbands number and slept with my husband for three months...so whatever policy you think these girls follow is bs and right out the window...so called professinal dancers is a joke..homewreakers are a better word

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  8. of the 3 clubs in the immediate area, 4 if you count the one twenty miles north in port trevorton, fantasy island is my favorite.

    Do not go there looking for massages. Do not go there looking for whores. Do not go there looking parking lot sluts. Do not go there expecting Rick's Cabaret or Platinum Dolls type quality.

    Dancing. Nude. Backroom personal attention. GFE (girl friend experience).
    They now have a liquor license but have not started serving yet. ***Who knows if this will enhance the place, or if it will turn it into a low life hangout. I will keep you posted***
    Just remember. To be legal means its all a fantasy, nothing real or 'extra'. Its in a hillbilly state with hillbilly laws. Its in a hillbilly section of a hillbilly state.
    It is not a bad place if you are in the area. Just not worth travelling for. But honestly, nothing found within 150 miles is worth travelling for. I would say 20 miles is the limit if you are coming from the Harrisburg area. And probably 35-50 if you are coming from the north or west.
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    My one personal suggestion, for the men of a more sophisticated experience. The men who are looking for a girl to see regularly. For the guys who want that fantasy world, talking, getting to know someone, followed by the physicality that makes you feel like the king you are, having someone totally devoted to your every need:

    Her name is Paris. She works during the day, so you are probably looking at a lunch hour visit. She is the best back room performer I have ever had. Blew my mind that I found her in such a po-dunk area. It isn't cheap. Its all legal. But she is worth every penny if that is what you are looking for. With any relationship, it takes time to build, but she is sooo worth it! She will be your everything for the right price.
    I have no idea why she is wasting her time in Perry County, or Pennsylvania in general. I have often told her that I would hate to see her leave, but she needs to be working somewhere more appropriate for her expertise.
    Until she wises up, you can get her locally and at a fraction of her true big city worth, albeit more expensive than the other pa girls.

    You can skip the cover charge if you pay for a VIP upon entering.
    Just tell her that Dick (yes, that's my name) sent you, and that you are looking for someone to help you escape reality from time to time. Fantasy vs reality. Treat me like a king and I will treat (pay) you like a queen.
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    but don't blame me if you fall in love. its all a fantasy! you've heard the horror stories of the guy thinking its real. don't be that guy. although, she will have you believing.

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  9. Men if ur "paying for it" fantasy or otherwise I feel for ya! My man is the KING of his castle and he has any one of his numerous fantasies met at any given time! If ur paying for something u need or desire may I suggest taking the time and money u spend in these places and find urself the right woman to keep u out of these places because if it weren't for the money remember girls like this wouldn't b showing u the time of day not that I would understand why u would want any of them to.

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  10. They now serve alcohol. The drink prices are fair: Not 'local corner bar' cheap. Not the overpriced drinks found at other strip clubs. I would say, more equivalent to any typical nightclub prices.

    Too bad I don't drink.



    Dance prices have skyrocketed to an absurd amount when you consider the area that its in, the quality of the dancers, and the quality of the dances themselves.
    I equate their new dance prices with going to eat at a run down building in the ghetto and being charged for a 5-star meal because the chef was classically trained, but only being served chicken nuggets cooked in a microwave by a dishwasher.

    Absolutely outrageous.


    I have gone there for years. I have gone to the other 'family owned' establishments for decades. I have always liked them for what they were, and I defended them for what they were versus what the naysayers thought they were supposed to be.
    But they have literally priced themselves out of my business. I can afford it. I just don't think it is worth it.

    Savannah's in Harrisburg, for all of the praise that I see people giving it, IS NOT WORTH IT. But I can see a far greater value for my money.




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