Monday, April 11, 2011

Delilah's (Philadelphia, PA)

Quality of Dances (5.5/20) – The girls mostly give some moderate friction, but having my hands moved immediately from the outsides of a girl's legs is a huge buzzkill, especially when the girls already give off a stuck up vibe.  If I can't touch your legs for $20, you won't be getting a second $20.

Quality of Dancers (8/10) – If you're into white girls, you'll have a hard time complaining at the quality of dancers at Delilah's. Basically, other than the hints of Amish inbreeding, it's as close to Spearmint Rhino quality as you'll find on the east coast.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – They've got a ton of dancers, but they lose a few points because there are often so many guys in here that it can be a challenge to get a dance.  I've only made one day-shift visit and it was dead in terms of customers and dancers, but the ratio was much more acceptable then.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (1/5) – Thin, white and mostly blonde works for a lot of guys, and that's a good thing, because that what Delilah's has.

Attitude of dancers (1/10) – One girl walked up to my table and asked if I wanted a dance.  I started to say something like, "maybe in a bit, but I want to get a drink first, so check back in a while," but
the girl stormed off about half way through "maybe". Some of the other ones aren't quite as bad, but it's rare to find a girl in Delilah's who isn't full of herself.

Value (4/10) – For an upscale club that takes itself way too seriously, the prices are surprisingly reasonable, with $20 dances and$6 beers.  They do have a fairly steep cover (something like $15 on
weekends), but it's waived if you have a ticket to a sporting event or a hotel room key. That's kind of shitty for locals and is the reason that I never visited while living in the area, but it seems to be
standard at the more upscale Philly clubs. There isn't any interaction between customers and dancers at the stage, but the view is great so you can ration your money if you want to just be a spectator.

Dance Setup (2.5/10) – Thankfully, dances are not given on the main floor because that place can get packed. They're in a separate room that's behind a curtain and is filled with couches.  It's not at all
private, but at least the couches are reasonably comfortable.

Club Setup (4/10) – There's a long stage down middle of the club with stairs that come down to it from the Delilahs Club Level.  You have to be a member to go up there, (I have no idea what it takes to become a member, but I wasn't interested), but it's sweet how they have girls gyrating around on the stairs while other girls are on the stage. The seating isn't nearly as nice as the stage though.  There are a bunch of small tables and a few booths in raised areas along sides of club, but those are mostly reserved for bottle service, so it can be tough to find a seat on nights of big sporting events. Overall, it comes very close to having a solid setup, but you should never have to circle a club 4 times to find a seat that you're immediately tossed from because you're only drinking beer. I like beer, so they can go fuck themselves.

Club Atmosphere (3.5/10) – This place is very upscale, so depending on your tastes,you might think it's either classy or stuffy. Thanks to the sights, it would be an awesome place to chill and have a few beers after a game, but the atmosphere isn't conducive to that at all. Still, it wouldn't be a bad idea to take a curious girlfriend to a place like this if you want to fool her into thinking that nothing inappropriate goes on at strip clubs.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – Delilah's is along the Delaware River near Penn's Landing right across the street from Dave & Busters.  It's walkable from the Center City/South Street areas, but it will be a fairly long walk.  If you're going to do it, I'd walk over to Columbus and then walk north to the club, because you'll be bordering on some shady areas if you walk north to Spring Garden and then east to the club.

Overall – This place might be good for a bachelor party with your soon to be father in law or a business meeting, and it might even be an okay place to do some sightseeing before the night really gets started, but the attitudes and stuffiness prevent it from ever being great for anything beyond that.

Total score = 40.5


  1. did you check out Club Risque (the NE) location? It is more remote. But the lapdance is great if you find someone you like. I even had someone said to me "you can touch anywhere but the kitty".

  2. I want to surprise my husband with some dances from Hollywood at Delilah's for his bday. If I am dropping some serious cash because she is hard to get, I want to see a picture of her. Do you know any way I can find a picture of her? They say she has nothing posted because she has been having issues with stalkers. All I want to do is see a picture of her.