Darling Cabaret (Prague, Czech Republic)

Quality of Dances (19/20) – You won’t find dances much better than these.  If you opt for the 1500 czk version (~$75 US), tit sucking is encouraged and you get full two way contact, some aggressive stick shifting and some excellent grinding from a nude dancer.  If you want more than that, though, it’s available from most if not all of the ladies.  I was quoted 2400 czk for a blowjob or 3000 czk for sex, but I was just looking for dances, so I don’t know whether those prices are firm.  If they are, they’re on the high side for Prague, but you get what you pay for, because these ladies are stunning.

Quality of Dancers (9.5/10) – In a city of beautiful women, these are some of the best.  Nowhere, Darling included, can quite match Goldfingers’ A-team, but the ladies at this place are as good or better than any other club’s offering.  If you restrict the discussion to clubs where sex is openly available then it’s no contest – Darling comes out on top by a fairly wide margin.

Number of Dancers (9.5/10) – I don’t know that I’ve ever seen more girls per square foot in a stripclub than at Darling.  They’re everywhere, which is very nice on the eyes ,but can be a pain if you’re trying to relax since you’ll have to constantly fight off the approaching ladies. 

Variety of Dancers (0.5/5) – A room full of thin white girls usually bores me after a while, but when they’re this gorgeous, I’m not going to complain.  Still, half a point for a mix of hot blonds and hot brunettes is all that I can give. 

Attitudes (0.5/10) – I’ve been in plenty of clubs where I’ll buy a dance only to have the girl do an intentionally shitty job while trying to convince me to pay more so that “we can really have some fun.”  That wasn’t the case here, though, with all of the ladies giving a solid dance before making another attempt to get me to agree to one of the more intimate options.  Unfortunately, the fact that they deliver in the lap dance rooms is about the only good thing I can say about these ladies.  The sales pitch to buy that initial dance and an overpriced (~690 czk) lady drink is relentless.  It starts from the time you sit down until you leave, and many of the ladies won’t give up without you demanding that they go away, and even then they’ll throw in some parting shots about what a cheap bastard you are.  

Value (1.5/10) – They would love to rip you off, so be smart, leave your credit cards and ATM cards in your room, and pay as you go.  Just as an example of their bait and switch tactics, they have a sign outside advertising “free entry,” but they don’t tell you that it’s only to sit at a depressing little satellite stage that’s in a separate room from the actual club.  To get into the real club will cost you 300 czk, and each beer is another 300 czk, so you’re about $30 US in by the time you sit down.  Throw in a 690 czk lady drink and a 1500 czk dance, and you’re up to about $140 US.  The stage value is good and the sights are amazing, but you better bring some serious cash if you plan on staying long enough to really enjoy them. 

Club Setup (8/10) – Darling Cabaret is a beautiful two-story club.  Downstairs is the main stage and lots of seating, and upstairs is a lively balcony area overlooking the main stage.  There are more tables and small stages up there, plus there are a few bar areas throughout the club.  Whether you’re part of a large group or by yourself, the setup should provide you with somewhere excellent to take in the sights. 

Dance Setup (9/10) – The dance area is an elevator ride away from the main club, and you get your own private curtained room up there.  There are signs in the rooms indicating that there’s a no-contact zone between customers and dancers, but I thankfully can report that this is not enforced.

Atmosphere (6.5/10) – The hustling dancers do their best to ruin it, but otherwise, this place has an amazing party atmosphere on peak nights.  For a bachelor party or as part of a night out on the town, it would be pretty much perfect.  I found it to be a little more laid back on a Sunday night, but even then, it was a lot of fun.  As long as you’re either prepared to constantly drop cash on lady drinks or can make peace with the fact that you’re going to look like a cheapskate, you should have a good time.

Location (5/5) – Darling Cabaret is just steps away from Wenceslas Square and is directly across an alley from Atlas Cabaret.  It’s the ideal location for most visitors to Prague, and is particularly glorious if you stay next door at the very nice K+K Fenix Hotel. 

Overall – Darling Cabaret reminds me a lot of the Hong Kong club in Tijuana.  Sure, these women are white and the prices are significantly higher, but both places have great party atmospheres, amazingly hot girls everywhere you look, excellent lap dances, and readily available sex.  The big difference is the big drawbacks of each club: here, it’s aggressive, borderline belligerent dancers; at Hong Kong, it’s the possibility of being kidnapped, held for ransom and murdered by a cartel.  It’s kind of a tossup. 

You might ultimately find that you prefer Goldfingers or Cabaret Carioca to this place due to their less aggressive girls (though don’t expect to find anything more than lapdances at those places), but whether it’s for a bachelor party or just a fun night out, I’d plan to make a stop at Darling Cabaret a part of any visit to Prague. 

RAW SCORE = 69