Darling Cabaret (Prague, Czech Republic)

Quality of Dances (19/20) – You won’t find dances much better than these.  If you opt for the 1500 czk version (~$75 US), tit sucking is encouraged and you get full two way contact, some aggressive stick shifting and some excellent grinding from a nude dancer.  If you want more than that, though, it’s available from most if not all of the ladies.  I was quoted 2400 czk for a blowjob or 3000 czk for sex, but I was just looking for dances, so I don’t know whether those prices are firm.  If they are, they’re on the high side for Prague, but you get what you pay for, because these ladies are stunning.

Quality of Dancers (9.5/10) – In a city of beautiful women, these are some of the best.  Nowhere, Darling included, can quite match Goldfingers’ A-team, but the ladies at this place are as good or better than any other club’s offering.  If you restrict the discussion to clubs where sex is openly available then it’s no contest – Darling comes out on top by a fairly wide margin.

Number of Dancers (9.5/10) – I don’t know that I’ve ever seen more girls per square foot in a stripclub than at Darling.  They’re everywhere, which is very nice on the eyes ,but can be a pain if you’re trying to relax since you’ll have to constantly fight off the approaching ladies. 

Variety of Dancers (0.5/5) – A room full of thin white girls usually bores me after a while, but when they’re this gorgeous, I’m not going to complain.  Still, half a point for a mix of hot blonds and hot brunettes is all that I can give. 

Attitudes (0.5/10) – I’ve been in plenty of clubs where I’ll buy a dance only to have the girl do an intentionally shitty job while trying to convince me to pay more so that “we can really have some fun.”  That wasn’t the case here, though, with all of the ladies giving a solid dance before making another attempt to get me to agree to one of the more intimate options.  Unfortunately, the fact that they deliver in the lap dance rooms is about the only good thing I can say about these ladies.  The sales pitch to buy that initial dance and an overpriced (~690 czk) lady drink is relentless.  It starts from the time you sit down until you leave, and many of the ladies won’t give up without you demanding that they go away, and even then they’ll throw in some parting shots about what a cheap bastard you are.  

Value (1.5/10) – They would love to rip you off, so be smart, leave your credit cards and ATM cards in your room, and pay as you go.  Just as an example of their bait and switch tactics, they have a sign outside advertising “free entry,” but they don’t tell you that it’s only to sit at a depressing little satellite stage that’s in a separate room from the actual club.  To get into the real club will cost you 300 czk, and each beer is another 300 czk, so you’re about $30 US in by the time you sit down.  Throw in a 690 czk lady drink and a 1500 czk dance, and you’re up to about $140 US.  The stage value is good and the sights are amazing, but you better bring some serious cash if you plan on staying long enough to really enjoy them. 

Club Setup (8/10) – Darling Cabaret is a beautiful two-story club.  Downstairs is the main stage and lots of seating, and upstairs is a lively balcony area overlooking the main stage.  There are more tables and small stages up there, plus there are a few bar areas throughout the club.  Whether you’re part of a large group or by yourself, the setup should provide you with somewhere excellent to take in the sights. 

Dance Setup (9/10) – The dance area is an elevator ride away from the main club, and you get your own private curtained room up there.  There are signs in the rooms indicating that there’s a no-contact zone between customers and dancers, but I thankfully can report that this is not enforced.

Atmosphere (6.5/10) – The hustling dancers do their best to ruin it, but otherwise, this place has an amazing party atmosphere on peak nights.  For a bachelor party or as part of a night out on the town, it would be pretty much perfect.  I found it to be a little more laid back on a Sunday night, but even then, it was a lot of fun.  As long as you’re either prepared to constantly drop cash on lady drinks or can make peace with the fact that you’re going to look like a cheapskate, you should have a good time.

Location (5/5) – Darling Cabaret is just steps away from Wenceslas Square and is directly across an alley from Atlas Cabaret.  It’s the ideal location for most visitors to Prague, and is particularly glorious if you stay next door at the very nice K+K Fenix Hotel. 

Overall – Darling Cabaret reminds me a lot of the Hong Kong club in Tijuana.  Sure, these women are white and the prices are significantly higher, but both places have great party atmospheres, amazingly hot girls everywhere you look, excellent lap dances, and readily available sex.  The big difference is the big drawbacks of each club: here, it’s aggressive, borderline belligerent dancers; at Hong Kong, it’s the possibility of being kidnapped, held for ransom and murdered by a cartel.  It’s kind of a tossup. 

You might ultimately find that you prefer Goldfingers or Cabaret Carioca to this place due to their less aggressive girls (though don’t expect to find anything more than lapdances at those places), but whether it’s for a bachelor party or just a fun night out, I’d plan to make a stop at Darling Cabaret a part of any visit to Prague. 

RAW SCORE = 69

Cabaret Carioca (Prague, Czech Republic)

Quality of Dances (10.5/20) – You won’t be getting any extra services or a whole lot of grinding, but otherwise, the 1500 czk (~$75) dances are very enjoyable.  The only rules were that I couldn’t “touch the pussy or kiss the mouth,” both of which I was perfectly fine with.  Unfortunately, the contact will only be one way if you stick to the slightly less overpriced 1000 czk option, but I probably wouldn’t bother with either opinion at these prices. 

Quality of Dancers (8.5/10) – These girls are a small step down from what you’d find across the square at Goldfingers, but they’re still very attractive and all fall within the 7-9 range.  It varies from one night to the next, but I’ve generally found them to be among the hottest dancers in Prague. 

Number of Dancers (6/10) – If you want company, you’ll get it almost immediately, but most of the girls hang out in the dressing room if customers aren’t buying ladies drinks.  The real reason to come here, though, is to drink some beer while taking in the stage show, and the number of girls is perfect for that.  The stage is always occupied, often with multiple girls, and it takes a long time until they have to repeat performers. 

Variety of Dancers (0/5) – Over the course of three visits, I’ve seen exactly one dancer who wasn’t white and thin.  She was white and had an average build. 

Attitudes (5.5/10) – “If you want to be left alone, that’s no problem.  If you want some company, here are the prices for drinks.”  The dancer won’t bother chatting if you don’t buy her a marked up drink, but at least they’re honest and straightforward without the bullshit here.  Plus, they’re fairly friendly if you do buy them drinks, and most of the ladies don’t ask for tips.  For a club that relies on selling dancer drinks (which is pretty much every club in Europe), this is as good as it gets. 

Value (4/10) – As long as you keep lapdances (starting at 1000 czk and going all the way up to 8000 czk) to a minimum and specify that you’re only buying the 240 czk dancer drinks (they go up to 10 times that much), the value at Cabaret Carioca is pretty solid.  The well-choreographed stage show can be viewed for free, and often includes some light girl-girl action.  The real value, though, is that you can get entry and 5 small Budweisers (produced in Budweis, Czech Republic – no relation to the American brewery) for 200 czk (about $10 US).  They should offer that at the door anyway, but if you want to be safe, you can get of the their street salesmen to take you to the entrance, though you might want to take your chances first because those street guys are pretty sketchy.  I made the mistake of talking to one of them while I still had half a can of beer and part of a sausage to finish (yes, drinking in the square is perfectly acceptable), so I had to hear his theories about how black people who are born in the U.S. or Britain have normal intelligence, but the ones born in Africa “do not have fully developed brains.”  I just backed away slowly and went to his Senegalese co-worker so that that guy could get the commission instead.  Anyway, once you use your drink tickets, beers are a reasonable 90 czk each.   

Club Setup (6.5/10) – This is a fairly small club in a basement just of Wenceslas Square.  There’s a tiny bar area at the entrance, but there’s no reason to spend any time in there except when you’re using your drink tickets.  In the main room, there’s a nice long 3-polled stage in the center of the room with several small tables around it, then there’s a raised area around the perimeter with more tables and several booths that work for groups of up to 4 or 5.  It’s not overly fancy, but for a laidback club, it works. 

Dance Setup (6/10) – Dances are given in a separate hallway, so no one can see you from the main part of the club, plus curtains block the view of most other dance recipients.  There are 3 seats inside each of the curtains, so it’s possible that you’ll have some company if it’s busy, but otherwise you’ll be left alone.  And even if other guys are back there, there’re mirrors optimally angled for each dance seat, so everything will have much better things to look at than your dance. 

Atmosphere (6.5/10) – I wouldn’t bring a bachelor party here, but for solo strip club goers and small groups who want to relax, down a few beers and take in the sights in a low hustle environment, there’s nowhere better in Prague.  It’s become my go-to place for bridging the gap between a heavy, pork-based dinner, and hitting the more high energy night spots. 

Location (5/5) – It’s a little hard to see from the street since it’s down a little hallway, but Cabaret Carioca is just off Wenceslas Square, right in the middle of all the action.  There’s really no excuse for you to stay anywhere that isn’t within walking distance of this and the other half-dozen-plus clubs in the area.

Overall – Cabaret Carioca isn’t the craziest spot and their lapdances are a huge waste of cash, but I like it a lot as a place to drink some cheap beers, see some nice stageshows, and relax before really hitting the town. 

RAW SCORE = 58.5

Cabaret Atlas (Prague, Czech Republic)

This place is a slightly cheaper, slightly more laid back version of Darling Cabaret, but with significantly less attractive dancers.  For me, the tradeoff just isn’t worth it – Darling Cabaret is a much better club, or at least that’s what I wrote down on a napkin while blackout drunk.  I hit this place and Darling back-to-back and confirmed on another night that my Darling scores were accurate (I took detailed notes including category scores while in the clubs), but I didn’t revisit Atlas, so there are still a few holes here.  Do they offer regular dances? If so, are they any good? Are they given in the same rooms that are used for sex? Did I have sex with one of the strippers?  I really couldn’t tell you the answers to any of those questions, but if I had to guess, I’d say yes, pretty good, I hope so, and I hope not, respectively.  I’m not going to try to fake it, though, so I’ll just write my unfiltered notes below, but the bottom line is that Darling Cabaret is a better club if you’re looking for sex, and Cabaret Carioca and Goldfingers are better if you’re looking for a relaxing venue to view some beautiful ladies.  Atlas isn’t a bad club by any means, but there’s really no reason to go there over some of the other Wenceslas Square options.   

Quality of Dances (17/20) – Thought I just paid for more time, but suck and fuck apparently included for 2600 czk.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – Hot. Mostly fit. Noticeable step down from Darling and Goldfingers.

Number of Dancers (6.5/10) – Lots of girls. Many sitting alone waiting for customers. If you want attention, you got it.

Variety of Dancers (1.5/5) – Mostly white, but some of the only black girls in Prague.  All thin.

Attitudes (1/10) – Drink hustle sucks, but not as bad as at Darling.  Decent if you buy drinks.

Value (5/10) – 300 entry, 55 czk draft Budweiser, 2000 czk for 20 minutes, 2600 czk for 30 minutes, about 600czk for dancer drinks, ok stage value

Club Setup (3/10) – Long bar. Several couches, though not facing stage.  Small but nice main stage.  Two smaller stages in corners.  Not great seating for large groups but small groups should be fine.

Dance Setup (10/10) – Private room with closed door.  Oversized bed, shower, toilet and sink all inside room.

Atmosphere (6/10) – More chill and less party than Darling, but still pretty good. 

Location (5/5) – Right across street from Darling, by Wenceslas Square [and, thankfully, right next to my hotel, because there’s no way that I’d have safely made it far that night].

RAW SCORE = 62.5

Hot Peppers (Prague, Czech Republic)

Quality of Dances (11/20) – There are several dance options at Hot Peppers (starting at 1000 czk for the no-contact version), but I stuck with the 1500 czk (about $75 US), full-contact version, so that’s what I’ll review.  There was plenty of tit groping and lap riding and the girl was fully nude for the second half of the dance, but there needs to be lots of grinding (there was none) and the girls needs to stay on me the entire time (there was lots of laying on the floor showing me what I’d rather be feeling) if I’m going to spend the equivalent of $75 for 5 minutes.   If they were 500 czk, these dances would be marginally worthwhile, but they’re priced so high that it detracts from your enjoyment unless you get off on burning money.    

Quality of Dancers (8/10) – In a city of beautiful women, these are above average.  They might be a small step below the ladies at Goldfingers or Darling Cabaret, but they’re still very attractive and you should not be disappointed. 

Number of Dancers (8/10) – Even with a jam packed room, if you want company at Hot Peppers, you won’t have to wait long to get it.  There were easily 30+

Variety of Dancers (0.5/5) – Most of the girls are blonde, an even higher percentage are thin and all of them are white.  If you’re looking for variety, Hot Peppers is not your club and Prague is not your city.

Attitudes (1/10) – “You want a dance?” or “You want to buy me a drink?” will be the first words out of almost every girl’s mouth, and spending money on dances won’t win you any goodwill to get the girl to hang out for a bit.  They just take your cash, give you 5 mediocre minutes, then move on to the next one.  On the bright side, it didn’t seem like anyone was trying to rip me off (though, as always, if you agree to buy a girl a drink, make sure you know which drink you’re buying) – it’s just that they’re all business.

Value (2/10) – There’s no cover, good beer is a reasonable 90 czk and the topless stage show, while somewhat tame, does provide a decent value since the ladies put some nice effort into the presentation.  That goodwill, however, is largely undone by the dance prices.  Even though it’s pretty standard for the touristy part of Prague, 1000 czk ($50) for less than 5 minutes of non-contact dancing and 1500 czk ($75) for the same amount of full-contact dancing is ridiculous.  If you feel like spending even more, 2000 czk will get you and your buddies a short table dance in a separate room in the back of the club, and 3000 will get you a lesbian show.  For comparison’s sake, you can bang the ShowPark girls for 20 minutes for that amount of cash. Even if you aren’t interested in going that far, just knowing that it’s available makes this place feel like every bit of the ripoff that it is.  At least you can save some cash at several of the other clubs in the area by relaxing and taking in the sights, but here, you’re also going to be pressured into buying  lady drinks, and they start at 300 czk but more typically run closer to 1000 czk each.    

Club Setup (2/10) – This is a relatively small club that can get absolutely, uncomfortably packed to the point where it’s difficult to move.  There are bars at both ends of the room, a raised area with a few tables near the entrance, and a long bench that runs the length of the club along one wall, but most of this place is just jam-packed with tiny tables and moveable chairs.  The stage is fairly sizeable, so you’d expect that everyone would have a nice view, but unfortunately there are two large pillars in the way, meaning that much of the crowd is stuck in obstructed view seating.  I’ll give it some credit for being clean and modern, but the setup here is far from ideal.

Dance Setup (5/10) – You get individual booths in an area behind the bar where the mob of patrons won’t be able to see you, but the front of the booths are unobstructed, so you’re open to anyone who is walking to or from their own lap dances. 

Atmosphere (7/10) – Hot Peppers has a pretty solid party vibe, thanks in part to the fact that its visible location in Wenceslas Square makes it a favorite destination for bachelor partiers, though the foosball table and boxer game in the back don’t hurt either.  Even when the other clubs are slow, this place is usually going strong.  A ton of loud, drunken Brits and Russians might be annoying if you’re looking to chill, but otherwise, the atmosphere is pretty solid here.  

Location (5/5) – Hot Peppers is located right on Wenceslas Square, so it will be walkable from pretty much anywhere that you’d likely be staying in Prague.  Plus, there’s great food in the stalls right outside the club and there are at least a half dozen other strip joints within a quarter mile of this place, so you have plenty of other options if you decide that it isn’t where you want to spend your evening.

Overall – Among the Wenceslas Square clubs, the show is better at Goldfingers, the sales pitch is more subdued at Cabaret Carioca and the girls are more “available” at Darling and Atlas, but Hot Peppers is a passable option if your top priority is a party atmosphere.  Just don’t party so hard that you forget how expensive these dances are in your home currency, because that would be a good way to go completely broke. 

RAW SCORE = 49.5

Goldfingers (Prague, Czech Republic)

Quality of Dances (10.5/20) – In Prague, you generally won’t get an extras-free lap dance with lots of grinding – it’s either a full service place, or it’s a nude, two-way contact, grindless dance.  At Goldfingers, it’s the nude, two-way contact, grindless version. I found it to be fairly enjoyable overall, but I really do wish there was some sort of middle ground for customers like me who want to stop just short of fucking for money. 

Quality of Dancers (9.5/10) – The ladies at Goldfingers are among the finest that I’ve ever seen.  A few too many implants and an average age that’s slightly higher than at most of the other clubs in the area prevent them from maxing out this score, but even factoring that in, these ladies are pretty close to perfection.

Number of Dancers (6/10) – There are usually plenty of ladies in the building and most of the stage shows include multiple (up to 4) girls, but it looks less impressive because they don’t work the room all that much, and they disappear to the dressing room if customers aren’t buying them dancer drinks that start at 600 crowns (about $30 US).  Still, since this is primarily a sight-seeing club, it’s nice to be able to see the sights on stage for an extended period of time without seeing any repeat performers. 

Variety of Dancers (0/5) – I don’t have anything against thin white girls, but I like to see a little more variation than Goldfingers offers, because the look can get a little boring when it’s shared by every lady in the place.  Or at least it would get boring if the ladies weren’t quite this stunningly attractive. 

Attitudes (2.5/10) – Normally I’d be frustrated by girls who don’t circulate through the crowd, but since this place relies on selling dancer drinks, it’s actually kindof nice to not have girls constantly approaching.  When the ladies do finally stop by, they’re actually very friendly and don’t give much attitude if you decline to buy them a drink.  They do, of course, leave instantly, but they do that at every club I’ve ever been to in Europe if you’re not buying marked up beverages.  These ladies do generally ask for tips, but, overall, the attitudes aren’t too bad. 

Value (3/10) – You can usually get entry and 5 beers for 300 crowns (about $15 US), which is an amazing deal, but they charged me 450 crowns during my second visit with no drinks included, so I’m not sure what’s going on.  To be safe, you could find one of the guys in the square who get paid to bring people to the club and get them to get you the deal.  Once you’ve used up your ticket, additional beers are a reasonable 90 crowns, and you can take in the excellent stage show for free.  Most of the shows are choreographed and some of them even include lesbian action.  During my first visit, I wrote down that there was a double sided dildo show, but after downing my 5 beers here, my 5 beers across the square at Cabaret Carioca, lots of absinth and some Becherovka, I have no recollection of that.  Maybe it actually happened, but it definitely didn’t during my second trip here.  Either way, just know that the stage shows alone make this place worth visiting.  The actual lap dances are a little overpriced though, with non-contact dances going for 1000 crowns, full-contact dances for 1500 crowns, something called the “pussy galore” (no idea what that is) for 4000 crowns or the champagne room for 8000 crowns (about $400 US). 

Club Setup (7/10) – This is a very classy club spread over two floors, though the upstairs is basically just an empty balcony that overlooks the main stage.  Downstairs, there’s a very nice, large stage in a sunken part of the room, and it’s surrounded by small tables and moveable chairs that have a great view and are perfect for solo customers or groups. 

Dance Setup (5/10) – People in the main part of the club are separated from the dance area by a curtain and there are dividers between each dance bench, but there’s nothing blocking the view of anyone who’s walking by. 

Atmosphere (8/10) – This place has a great party vibe and really feels like it should be in Vegas.  Whether you’re part of a bachelor party or looking to relax and take in the stage show, the atmosphere at Goldfingers is just about perfect.   

Location (5/5) – Goldfingers is beneath the Hotel Ambassador right on Wenceslas Square in central Prague.  It’s within walking distance of most of the hotels in the city, and it’s just seconds away from several other strip clubs. 

Overall –You might ultimately prefer Cabaret Carioca among the sightseeing clubs, but the girls are so hot and the stage shows so impressive, you should plan to stop by Goldfingers at least once during your visit to Prague unless you’re strictly interested in clubs where the girls are willing to fuck. 

RAW SCORE = 56