Little Darlings (Las Vegas, NV)

Quality of Dances (18/20) – Although there's variation from girl to girl and extras are rarely if ever offered, most of the dances at Little Darlings are among the best I've ever gotten. You just can't beat laying down on your back with a naked girl laying/sitting/grinding on top of you. There are a few girls who try to take you to the couches instead of the "beds," and they're a waste of time, but everyone else that I've experienced has been amazing. Also, some of the girls charge extra to allow you to touch them "anywhere but the pussy," but for the price, it's hard to blame them. The only warning that I should give is that you should probably wear reasonably thick pants if you're squeamish about bodily fluids, because under the black lights on the main floor, my pants looked like evidence from a scene on CSI.

Quality of Dancers (8.5/10) – My most recent visit was a little underwhelming, but I'm going to assume that I just caught them on an off night, because the quality of ladies here has been consistently outstanding over the course of several visits over the past 4 years.  Girls have to be old enough to drink to work at a club that serves alcohol in Nevada, so when they turn 21, the hottest ones spread out among the big-money places. Until then, they only have a few choices, and most of the hottest ones end up at Little Darlings. Older women who don't have their shit together know that they can't compete with hot teenagers, so most of the 20-somethings who work here also look great.

Number of Dancers (8.5/10) – This place doesn't have as many girls as a place like the Rhino or Sapphire, but it doesn't have nearly as many customers either. I've visited several times and never seen worse than a 2-to-1 customer to dancer ratio, and it's usually much better than that. Generally, there are a few dozen girls working.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (4/5) – You won't find a lot of old girls here, but other than that, the variety is great. Black, white, asian, thick (some would argue a little too thick) and thin dancers are all well represented.

Attitude of Dancers (3/10) – For years, the dancers here were some of the friendliest I'd ever met, but I've barely been able to get a word out of any of them before they ask if I want a dance and then either take me to the back or walk away during my past few visits. They are at least friendly enough while you're getting your dance, but most of them don't even offer to join you back at your table after your dances these days.  For anyone who got used to the way the club was from 2009 until around 2011, the current attitudes are tragic.

Value (6/10) – The $33 cover here is brutal (reduced to $5 before 10pm if you print a pass from their website and don't show up in a cab), but sodas are free, so if you've brought your own liquor, you'll be drinking on the cheap. Also, they give taxi drivers some money for dropping you off, so before you get a ride to Little Darlings, get the cabbie to agree to give you $10-15 each. If you don't feel like dealing with that, you can get the club to send you a limo for free, but since they aren't making money on alcohol, you'll still have to pay the cover. Officially dances are no-contact and cost $20, but almost every girl will allow your hands to roam if you pay $30. That's usually more than I'd be willing to spend, but since there are frequent 2-for-1 specials, it's hard to complain about paying $15 per full contact dance.

Dance Setup (10/10) – The dances are given in booths back in a maze of hallways, and the entrances to the booths are covered with a semi-opaque curtain, so the only people who can even partially see in are dancers and customers who are walking to/from their own dances. There is one booth at the end of the hallway that is completely private, so if a girl takes you there, you know you're in for a good time.  The real key to the dance setup here, though, is that most of the booths have "beds," which are basically tables that are horizontal from the waist down and at a 30 degree angle from the waist up. This really is a spectacular dance setup.

Club Setup (5/10) – The tables are a little bit cramped, the chairs aren't terribly comfortable, and there are no private corners, but everyone has a good view of the stage where the pole action is about as good as I've seen.

Club Atmosphere (2.5/10) – Since this is a nude club, they can't serve alcohol or allow customers to bring their own. Because of that, my crew usually makes this our go-to place early in the evening while we're still recovering from the previous night or late in the night once we've already had enough to drink. Also, as long as you aren't too obvious about it, you shouldn't have any problem bringing in your own liquor and mixing it with the free soda. Other than that, the atmosphere is pretty relaxed and you'll probably have a good time here either by yourself or with a group of guys. The music is good, but check their website to see if it's a theme night, because I was ready to stab my eardrums by the end of rock night.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – Like everywhere else in Vegas, it isn't within walking distance, but they'll send you a limo.

Overall – I'm not quite as high on Little Darlings as I was a few years ago due to the declining attitudes, but it's still an excellent club. If they served alcohol, it would probably be my top choice in Vegas, though, realistically, if they started serving it the young girls would be gone, less attractive girls would move in, and the overall experience would probably decline. The bottom line is that if you only hit one club in Vegas, it should probably be somewhere with alcohol, but if you hit several, Little Darlings should be one of them.

TOTAL SCORE = 69

Little Darlings NOLA (New Orleans, LA)

Quality of Dances (16/20) – I was told that you can do “whatever you want to do” in the $200 private rooms, but the regular lap dances are excellent as well, with lots of grinding, some over the pants hand action, and lots of two-way contact.  I guess I was being too respectful and one point because a girl grabbed my hand, moved it straight to her crotch, and said, “you didn’t spend $40 to not touch my pussy.”

Quality of Dancers (4/10) – Some of these ladies are a little sloppy, but others are very hot, though you’re out of luck if you don’t like black ladies.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – They had more than enough dancers for the number of customers in the club.  One is on stage and one hustles at the entrance to the club, plus several more work the crowd at all times. 

Variety of Daners (1/5) – There’s a mix of thick and thin dancers, but there’s no racial diversity because this is an all black club. 

Attitudes (1/10) – The hustle is out of control at Little Darlings NOLA.  One girl followed me into the club from the door, another latched on immediately, and they both attempted to escort me straight to the dance area without even giving me a chance to grab a beer or have a seat in the main area of the club.   

Value (2.5/10) – The night was getting a little hazy by this point so I’m missing some details here, but dances range from $20-40, the private rooms are $200, beers are $6 and the cover is somewhere around $10. 

Club Setup (1/10) – This is a tiny, cramped club with a bunch of chairs in the main room facing the small stage, and a stand up bar with no stage view off to the side. It’s definitely not a place that you’d want to or be able to make yourself comfortable.  

Dance Setup (1/10) – There are curtains for the private dances, but the main dance area is a bright communal room with shitty benches and absolutely nothing to obstruct the view of anyone else in the room. 

Atmosphere (3/10) – There’s a party vibe in here, but it’s very loud and smoky, and I got some not-so-friendly looks for adding a little diversity to the previously all black crowd.

Location (5/5) – Little Darlings is right in the heart of Bourbon Street, so it’s the perfect location if you want to check it out on your way to somewhere better.

Overall – I had high hopes for this place based on my experiences at their Vegas location (one of my favorite clubs of all time), but Little Darlings NOLA was disappointing in pretty much every way.  Your chances of getting extras are probably better here than at any of the other Bourbon Street clubs, but unless that’s your sole objective, I’d prefer pretty much anywhere else over this place.  Hell, even if that were my sole objective, I’d still probably hit a different club and just end my night over at the Hollywood Spa a few blocks away.   

RAW SCORE = 41.5