Sunday, January 2, 2011

Centerfolds 2000 (North Oxford, MA)

Quality of dances (4/20) – True to the general Massachusetts trend of the-hotter-the-dancers-the-worse-the-dances, Centerfolds dances are pretty brutal. No contact from customer to dancer, and minimal contact from her to you. Don’t expect to be satisfied here.

Quality of dancers (7.5/10) – I’m not sure what draws them here (perhaps the assurance that they won’t get groped by creeps), but the crop of dancers at CF2K is pretty incredible for Massachusetts. Although they don't live up to the DJ's aggressive claim of "the hottest dancers in the world," many rank among the hottest that I've seen in New England.

Number of dancers (7/10) – There were perhaps 15-20 girls on a weeknight, much better than my last visit and the dancer to customer ratio was excellent. But their weak performance last time prevents them from really making some noise here. Also, given that I visited just a few days before Christmas, I have a sneaking suspicion that the number of dancers was artificially inflated by a bunch of women working an extra shift to bank some money for holiday presents.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (1/5) – Almost exclusively skinny white women who, as readers know, are way outside of my wheelhouse. On my second visit, there was also an unfortunate abundance of fake bombs, my least favorite kind. Especially disappointing was the single gorgeous Indonesian dancer whose enormous well-shaped cans were later discovered to be imposters.

Attitude of Dancers (6/10) – A complete 180 from a year ago. Within two minutes of sitting, each guy in my party had a girl sitting with him or on him. No one was pushy about dances, and only one girl was venomous after being turned down. The servers were likewise cool, and I was even able to coax one waitress into working a stage set, a feat attempted by many but accomplished by few. It's also a huge plus that my first featured dancer, Shelby, is back gracing the stage at CF2K. Still, further research is needed for a better average score and I can't totally disregard how terrible the attitudes were a year ago.

Value (2/10) – Miller Lites are just under $5 and the cover is $7 before 5 PM ($14 when they have feature dancers). Dances are 2 for 1 until 7 PM every day, but that’s hardly any consolation. My first dance was so bad that I almost didn’t even want a second. And stage value is minimal for most dancers.

Dance Setup (1/10) – Dances are conducted on wall benches in slightly raised areas along both sides of the club, in plain view of nearly every person in there. Since I first reviewed this club, it appears they've dimmed the lights in the dance area and added some translucent curtains (bumping the score slightly), but it's still not enough to shield you from onlookers. Call me picky, but if I’m gonna get a shitty dance, I’d at least like a modicum of privacy. Centerfolds 2000 offers none.

Club Setup (7/10) – Despite the awful dance setup, CF2K’s overall design is solid. Plenty of seating, however uncomfortable, at the stage and on the floor surrounding it, good table space, and enough private spots to hang out and drain a few beers. I also like that the bar hangs off the back of the club in a large outcropping, preventing the logjam of douche pickles that often happens during busy hours at clubs.

Club Atmosphere (5/10) – [From my first review] Having spent the better part of my 20’s in strip joints, I understand – and have come to accept – the reality that many dancers/DJ’s have terrible taste in music (I once heard Smooth Operator TWICE in one night). No matter where you are, you’ll invariably be forced to listen to a handful of abominations by the likes of Kid Rock, Nickelback or their equivalents. But CF2K took it to another level. For the first 45 minutes, literally every song was cringe-worthy material. And even after I tipped the DJ to play a few favorites (a move that never fails), the DJ only squeezed in one request amongst the rubbish. This musical misfortune is especially sad because the club has an otherwise good feel to it.

Having given this place a second chance, I'll say that the musical choices weren't nearly as bad this time through. However, there's still way too much rock and crappy pop (Black Eyed Peas), and not nearly enough Lil Wayne.

Club Accessibility (2/5) – Located almost ten miles outside of Worcester, Centerfolds 2000 isn't really in acceptable taxi range. It probably deserves worse than a 2, but because Worcester is very much a driving city, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Overall – Centerfolds 2000 has great potential, but I don't think they'll ever put it all together. I can really only imagine three scenarios where I'd recommend sending you to CF2K:

1) You're looking to take a somewhat-square, shy-ish girl to her first strip club. This place is a great bet for that type of thing.

2) You love Nickelback and white brunettes, and hate lap dances.

3) You want to meet and get a dance from Featured Dancer Shelby.

Otherwise, I'd say it's not worth your time.



  1. As one of the original Centerfolds management staff I have to say the mission statement of must have changed. Having come from Minnesota with the GM he was always very customer oriented. I haven't been there for over ten years and truly miss the great crew that helped open the place. The entertainers were solid but occasionally had to be prodded when the club was slow. I'd have to say that back in the day you actually had to babysit the girls so they wouldn't go too far. Apparently they have gotten either too big to concern themselves or too big to concentrate on North Oxford, maybe both. Stop by the Worcester Centerfolds, ask for Bobby and tell him Ray sent you. The girls may not be as hot but Bobby is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. He'll hopefully show you some girls who appreciate dirty perverts checking them out. Good luck to you

  2. I have been coing there scense it opened and the quailty of the girls is no longer there the wait staff are by far better looking than the entertainers latley ray needs to come back and fix this mess that is now happening

  3. yeah okay - where else can you work and drink on the clock. I have never been here but they are such a-holes. $9.00 drinks for two people for a couple of hours came up to over $350.00 and that was at the bar. WTF!!!!! Jessica - u r awful!!!

  4. This blog saved me alot of money i always wanted to stop in this club i found this blog and even with the bad review i went anyway and all the girls are cut from a cookie cutter on a friday afternoon around 4pm there was only 3 girls and not one was over a Bcup. Again as with other clubs in the area the waitress are way hotter than anything on stage. All this makes me ask where are the boobies ? ?

  5. My husband and I recently went to Centerfolds for a little added fun. There were probably 18 customers total that night and most of the dancers were just horrible looking. We settled for one that was halfway decent and after talking with her asked for a lap dance. She let me (wife) touch her everywhere but between the legs during this dance. After that she came back to our table for a drink and proceeded to show us pics of her pierced pussy from her phone. Then she asked if we wanted a "couples lap dance" We of course said sure. It was still 20.00 so what the heck. This time we both were allowed to touch her and she took my hand and had me feel her piercing. Not sure what all the bouncers were doing but no one stopped us at anytime. Next is the kicker...Somehow without my seeing she was able to fling her hair around my husband when pushing her boobs in his face and slide her nipple in his mouth for a good 5 second suck. I was drunk and touching her ass at the time so I was unaware. I knew they were more lenient with female customers but didnt realize men could touch and be touch. After that I guess she was backwards against one of each of our legs with her huge ass between us and actually stroked my husbands cock through his pants off and on for about a minute. I never saw any of it. This place is disgusting and I saw lots of two way touching from many girls that night. I just cant believe for 20 bucks they will let you suck their tits and jerk you off!

  6. LMFAO.. i used to work here and i def agree with everything yall are saying about a shitty club.. the girls were fat and ugly on day shift and at night and on weekend there were just a bunch of whores.. literally.. yes the lap dance areas are aweful and uncomfortable and a lil ragged looking and in plain view of everyone (which the men hated) and lets get real if someone is watching a girl dance- there is nothing left to the imagination come time for them. no touching? ya right!! a lot of girls (including me) didnt touch the men unless the dances were more $ but even then wouldnt jerk anyone off.. nasty. of coarse in any strip club you have the girls that will talk you into going in back and fucking you- but lets get real- if they fuck you, you have to think how many other ppl they fucked that week or even day! disgusting!! what ever happened to the classy clubs?! this is def a waste of time! and even the girls werent making money b/c the shitty GM's they have like woody and mike. so you have a few choices.. an anorexic chick, a fat one, a fully fake one, or a whore.. once in a while youll find a girl like me who's more the girl next door lookin to make some money the clean way where she can look in the mirror the next morning, and lets be serious, this is hard to find this day and age cuz everyone suckin dick for money.. lookin for the gift that keeps giving?>you might find yourself wakin up to herpes on your mouth or dick the next day!! i quit dancing almost 2 yrs ago b/c it is BEYOND hard to make an honest living being a CLEAN dancer!! good luck to anyone who enters this dump!!

  7. The club closed, was re-modeled and opened as a Mardi Gras club. The upscale interior features a customer lounge area, two smaller separate bars with TV's and a main bar combined with a stage and pole. There is a separate private lap dance area. I stayed at one of the smaller bars and watched some boxing.