Club Risqué on the Delaware (Philadelphia, PA)

Quality of Dances (8/20) – Most of these girls give a fairly solid grind, and even though full two-way contact is not allowed, hands on the outsides of the legs is generally okay. Best of all, at least one of the girls really takes pride in her work, apologizing profusely because she noticed that I wasn't at full attention by the end of the dance. The fact that I'd been drinking moonshine and Yeungling all day had more to do with that that than anything that the girl did or didn't do, but it was still nice to know that she actually cares about customer satisfaction. Sadly, another girl pretty much undid that goodwill by ruining a dance with baby talk bullshit. It wasn't the first time that a dancer has put on that little girl voice with me, but this girl was way over the top with it, and even when it isn't as bad, it's still pretty lame. Creeps who get off on having little girls on their lap are more likely to be working in a department store as Santa Claus than to be in a strip club, so I don't know why so many dancers think it's a turn-on. I come to strip clubs for the women, so is it too much to ask for you to act like a grown-ass woman?

Quality of Dancers (6.5/10) – Most of these ladies are fairly cute, but for one of the most popular clubs in one of the biggest cities in the U.S., it's a bit of a letdown. Even though Philly's more famous for deliciously unhealthy food and overweight, angry sports fans than it is for attractive ladies, there are still more than enough around here to fill up a club with girls in the 7+ range, but Club Risqué just isn't getting the job done.

Number of Dancers (5.5/10) – I've only been here on weekend evenings, but there have always been lots of girls in the place. That's a good thing though, because it's a popular stop after sporting events, so it can get packed with customers and it can be somewhat tough to get a dance.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (1.5/5) – This club isn't all that diverse for anywhere, but it's particularly monochromatic considering that it's in Philadelphia. I've seen a few black chicks and a few curves, but the vast majority of dancers in this joint are thin, white and, at least in my opinion, kind of boring.

Attitude of Dancers (3/10) – I realize that most strippers put on an act when they're in the club, but these ladies are particularly poor actors. They're friendly enough, but it takes away from it a little bit when you don't even get fooled into thinking that you saw a glimpse of the real person behind the g-string.

Value (3/10) – The stage value is lacking, but for a major city, $6 beer and $20 dances aren't all that bad. Plus, there's no cover if you have tickets to a sporting event or a hotel key card. It's kind of like how Vegas clubs waive the cover for locals because they respect their repeat customers, only the exact opposite. Since I've only been to Risqué after sporting events while in various states of drunkenness, I never remember exactly how much the cover would otherwise be, but I think it's somewhere in the $10-15 range.

Dance Setup (3/10) – There's a separate area off to the side of the main stage area in the back of the club where they take you for lap dances. Though there's no privacy back there, the individual comfy chairs do a lot to make up for it. Or maybe I just don't mind the lack of privacy as much as I usually would since I'm always too tanked to give a fuck.  

Club Setup (4.5/10) – They've got a long narrow runway style stage down the center of the club and a raised area along the side with booths and chairs that are great for sight seeing.

Club Atmosphere (7/10) – There's a very nice party vibe at Club Risqué, and if the dances were a little better, it wouldn't be a bad place at all to spend an evening.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – Risqué isn't really walkable from anywhere, but it isn't far from center city or the sports complex by cab. You're probably looking at about a $10 ride from most of the city.

Overall – Club Risqué on the Delaware (they have other locations in the area that I've not yet visited) is better than Delilah's as far as the Philly upscale clubs go, and is generally a solid place to stop after a Sixers, Phillies or Flyers game. I wouldn't go out of my way to get here under normal circumstances, but sports, tits and beer are the perfect combination, so I usually try to make that happen when I'm in the area.

TOTAL SCORE = 45