Gold Club Groton (Groton, CT)

Quality of Dances (7/20) – There's huge variation from girl to girl, with some girls giving what amounts to little more than an airdance and other girls giving a really solid grind. Of course, the usual skin color correlation is in full effect. There are exceptions, but generally, the quality increases as the skin gets darker right up until the Brazilian bronze, then slightly tapers off after that. Like the Gold Club in Hartford, they've got some strange rules in this place, with dancers having to keep their feet on floor at all times. Also, they say that you can't touch the dancers, but hands on the legs seems to be fine.

Quality of Dancers (7/10) – I haven't seen any real models here, but almost all the ladies are decent and most are well above average.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – There are usually about a half dozen girls dancing in the afternoon, and many more than that later in the evening. By the night, it's crawling with women, but no matter when you visit, it shouldn't take you long at all to get the attention of an attractive lady or two.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3/5) – They've got a decent mix of white and Latina dancers a with a few black ones mixed in. In my somewhat limited experience at the Gold Club, there seems to be more Latinas during the day shift, which is why you're much more likely to find me here in the afternoon. There's some variation of body types with a few thicker black girls, but most of the ladies seem to be in pretty good shape.

Attitude of Dancers (5/10) – The bartendresses are really friendly and the dancers aren't bad to talk to, but more than one has asked me to prepay for a dance and that's brutal. Do they really think that people are going to get a dance and then walk off without paying? If so, they either have some really shady customers or give some really unsatisfying dances.

Value (3.5/10) – Beers are usually $4.75 but they have $3 specials and it's BYOB next door at the nude club (After Dark) after midnight. Dances aren't as good of a deal, however, at $25 each. My first few visits were during the day shift when there was no cover, then the bartender gave me a bunch of free admission passes, so I'm not sure how much the cover would usually be. It's $10 at their Hartford location, so I'm assuming that it's comparable to that here as well.

Dance Setup (3.5/10) – They give lap dances on individual bench style seats that look comfortable at first but really aren't. There's a small divider between the benches, but people who are across from you can still watch you if they want.

Club Setup (5/10) – The mouth shaped urinals are somewhat unique, but the rest of the club is fairly mediocre. The whole place is very dark and has a warehouse feel, but the lap dance area is strangely brighter than everywhere else. There are a bunch of 2 person tables scattered around the club, two small stages, a pool table in the back and a very large nice bar. It looks like a dump from the outside and isn't all that well thought out but it's actually kind of classy despite the warehouse look.

Club Atmosphere (5.5/10) – The crowd is decent, but the 2-person tables and all the wide open space prevent it from being great for large or even medium sized groups. It seems to be a popular bachelor party destination on Saturday nights, so that may not be a great time to go if you're hoping to get lots of attention from the girls.

Club Accessibility (2/5) – The Gold Club isn't hard to get to from I-95, but you'll be driving to get there and to get home. Luckily, there's more than enough parking and there're some spots along the side so that everyone driving by won't see your car. There is, however, no discreet way to walk in the entrance in the front of the club.

Overall – The Gold Club Groton is a decent club. It's nothing that I'd go out of my way for, but it's a much better option than the Gold Club's Hartford location or Rose's Cantina down the street. If you've got time though, you'd be much better off driving the hour to Providence to have a really good time.

TOTAL SCORE = 48.5