Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Kitten's (Salisbury, MA)

Quality of dances (0/20) – In my lengthy strip club career, I've walked out in the middle of exactly two dances. The first was during an epic night at another club when I had too much to drink and thought I was about to empty 15 beers and 3 Subway cookies on the back of a very attractive stripper. The second time was at Kitten's, but here, the only thing that made me want to vomit was the girl wiggling around on the floor in front of me. Even for air dances, these are bad.

Quality of dancers (4/10) – The girls vary from 2s to 8s, with most falling toward the bottom of that range. Still, there was one beautiful dancer and a few other acceptable girls working.

Number of Dancers (3/10) – This is a small club, so I don't expect them to have a ton of girls, but the girls that are working should at least be on the floor when they aren't dancing. On a Friday night, I saw more girls when the door to the dressing room swung open than I saw interacting with customers.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (2.5/5) - There's a wide range of black and white girls, but the lack of Latinas is a real shame. This club is no exception to the rule that the quality of dances is directly proportional to the number of Latina dancers that are working. Zero and zero.

Attitude of dancers (2/10) – Most of the girls weren't too bad, but there's nothing worse than hearing a dancer who isn't earning tips say something along the lines of, "you guys here for a free show?" Also, the one shot-girl was really pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer, finally insisting that I buy her a shot if I wasn't going to buy one for myself.

Value (5.5/10) – The only good deal here is the beer. Normal beer starts at $4, but you can get 16 ounces of something that they call "Kittens Brew" for only $3. The stage value is poor, but you actually get more of a show there than you do during a $20 dance, because some of the girls here are legitimately skilled on the pole. The cover is $5 at all times.

Dance Setup (1.5/10) – This was the brightest dance room that I've ever seen. All but the most shameless of strip club goers would be embarrassed to stare at a girl in this atmosphere, especially if anyone else is getting a dance at the same time. Plus, I doubt that a spotlight would be flattering even to the girls from a club like the Spearmint Rhino, but it's devastating to these girls. People in the rest of the club can't see you and there's no bouncer watching, but there are no partitions and there's at least one camera keeping tabs on the (lack of) action.

Club Setup (3/10) – There's a decent stage and a separate shower stage, but the bar is fairly small and there aren't many tables. There's a separate game room with pool tables in the back, but it was empty when I was there.

Club Atmosphere (4/10) – This is more of a dive bar than a gentleman's club, and it wouldn't be a bad place to hang out it it weren't for the dancers and the shot girl constantly harassing you for money.

Club Accessibility (1/5) – This place is in the middle of nowhere, and I really can't see any situation that would justify driving here.

Overall – When $3 mystery beer is the highlight of a club, that's a problem. I really tried to like this place, just because I didn't want to rate a place called "Kitten's" worse than I rated "The Golden Banana," but they left me with no choice. This place sucks.



  1. Hello....
    I have been working at kittens for three years now.. I'm really sorry to hear that you had a crappy time..It is true that we do need to make some improvements and such.
    By the way the mystery beer, is produced by the moosehead beer company. a canadian company located in New Brunswick...
    Come back to see us!

  2. I just got back from kitten's. The only place I'd compare it to is a place in Camden, NJ frequented by truckers--but this place is not so nice.

    They need to send the girls to a real club to see how it's done.

  3. Wow Peter I love the honesty from you the most! Ive worked at kittens for four months, and its the only place Ive ever danced. I couldnt compare our club to another, but Ive been watching this one to see how the industry is. Im a people watcher. shot girl is ugly and annoying and most the girls that work nights are catty and yeh they do hide in the back room. and yet when your out they hound you for your money. ive seen it.
    there are only a few girls I would recommend depending on what your looking for.
    Temper who works days with me. Carrie does awsome pole work. Casey Lane has the naughty bad girl mouth I like. Taliyah and Mistic are very hott and resemble latinas althought they are not. Im sorry you had a bad time. but not everybodys experience is the same. or the same everytime. sorry you missed me anyway we coulda had some fun!

    1. complete pathetic too

  4. Thanks for the recommendations, Kimmie. Maybe this summer I'll give Kitten's another shot and keep my eyes out for these girls.

  5. Ive worked at kittens now for 5 years on and off, its no tens. but any customer nos tht. aside frm tht none of the grls r ugly. but in my eyes every women has there own beuty. it taks a lot to get up there and of course it maks us all in a better mood when were making money. thts wht we r there 4. the door swings both ways, we mak no 1 stay. aside frm tht ur money can b stretched more than a upper class astomphere. its laid bak cool and chill and of course comin to c me , michelle and my grl summer is a goodtime. lots of laughs with pretty girls wht more cld u ask 4? and naked too rely? i mean wht cld u not like????

  6. i visited kittens a few months back me and a group of my buddies!!! place is a shit hole. The girls all smell like smoke. The place is filthy and the stage looked really dirty. The bathrooms looked like they had not been cleaned in weeks.The toilets were clogged and no toilet paper. One of the girls there had this rash all over her body. I wander where she got that from. Probably because the stage was so filthy. There was one dancer with blonde hair and big boobs her name was wildfire she had all these sores all over her mouth looked like herpes. She bragged about having four kids and working as a dancer like it was a good thing!!! she was wasted and very trashy looking she also reeked of cigarette smoke!!! The place was dead and the girls complained that they were not making enough money. I thought the place was closed because the parking lot was empty. The bartenders are rude and fat. The website says there is food there isn't any at all except chips. they had amateur night that night!!! They hire anything literally fat women with stretch marks who look all fucked up. This not a place you wanna go to. There were four guys in the club and it was almost 11 pm when i left. If you are the only guy at the stage be prepared every girl working will harasse you for a dance. There was a shot girl we met she looked like a monster out of a scary movie she ran around bothering me and my buddies to buy her shots and when we refused she said "come on they will make you horny" and she shoved her gigantic boobs in our faces i wanted to puke. Honestly guys save your money and go to tens in-less you want to watch a whole bunch of untalented junkies with track marks all over their arms dance around on stage. None of these girls have any talent Mystic one of the other girls was fat she had a face like a dogs and a fat ass and she smelt really bad horrible body odor. I give kittens a rating of 1 this place should be called dogs not kittens

  7. Magick happens here. Search the web for the difference in spelling and give thanks to the two girls that know that here.
    Thanks for the lessons girls.

    Blood sugar sex magick....

  8. 12-5-2012. Local. Regular. U know I've been 2 ciubs from st. Catherine st. Can't. Believe. Reading. B.S. LIKE. THIS what a. Bunch of Fags you guys writing 4 HOME & gardens there to watch dancers .never had problem there eye of beholder u no there R some hot talented ladies. Here MAYBE. U should. Only go when flush seems like just. Cheap. U mustev lost it on rt1 /tens / sguires rule 1 never. Ever go 2. Clubs broke only make tips. Back room wild. Girls blow tens away &also less cops in area like I said ur cheap homos never had any thing pushed on me &all u do say no then again I treat them nice so put glasses on/&talk 2 them buy em drink /stay outside r club & go buy playboy because all chiks look like that % kiss your PREPPIE ASS &OF. COURSE U SCORE %%$#@*:"WHITH YOUR. HAND

    1. What? Above post is lost in translation. Girls at Kittens do their job and are real. Had a good time here and met more than a few girls with the same interests.

      Best club in Salisbury.

    2. Hi Michelle. I'm new to dancing but I thought I'd give it a try. I was thinking of trying out kittens. Do y'all make money?

  9. I speak English, but not a clue as to the GED candidate above "speaks" about.

    Love girls.