DB's Golden Banana (Peabody, MA)

Quality of dances (1.5/20) – The dances here are slightly less terrible than down the street at the Cabaret Lounge, but they're still among the worst in the state. If you're lucky, the girl might bump into your leg, but that's about as good as it gets here.

Quality of dancers (6/10) – Most of the girls here have good bodies but worn faces, but it's dark enough that it's hard to complain unless you're within a few feet of the them. If you do come here, I recommend that you just watch the stage from the bar or a distant table.

Number of Dancers (3.5/10) – There weren't many girls here when I visited on a Friday evening, but the club was dead so the ratio wasn't too bad. I actually wish there had been fewer girls so that I wouldn't have had to see any of them up close.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (2/5) – The majority of the girls here are white, though the evening shift is usually slightly more colorful.

Attitude of dancers (3.5/10) – The girls were nice enough to talk to, but when one guy started throwing around money, they ignored everyone else. I saw one dancer spend her entire four song set with the guy even though she was the only one on stage and other guys had money on the rail.

Value (2/10) – Nothing is ridiculously priced, but everything is a few dollars more than it should be. There's always a cover change that ranges from $5-15, depending on the time and day. The cheapest beers will run you $6.50 and anything that you spend at the stage will be a waste. The value is helped somewhat by the availability of $10 dances at your table, but the real dances are $20, and both options are overpriced.

Dance Setup (2.5/10) – The dance room has the typical Massachusetts non-partitioned bench seating setup, but at least most of the room is out of the view of the rest of the club. Still, a bouncer sits right outside of the room watching most of the time, and the setup would be terrible if 2 or more people were getting dances at the same time.

Club Setup (6/10) – This is a large club with a long bar, a decent stage, and plenty of tables. They have so much space that they should have been able to do something more interesting than just having dozens of small tables throughout the club, but it's so rare to find ample seating in Massachusetts that I can't complain about that too much.

Club Atmosphere (2/10) – This place is full of stuffy old white guys. If there's one guy in a club with his Bluetooth earpiece blinking, I blame the guy; if there's more than one, as there was here, I blame the club. They do have several TVs, but they're all fairly small, and this would be a terrible place to watch a game anyway.

Club Accessibility (1.5/5) – You'll have to drive to get here, but there are a few cheap motels in the area where you can crash if you feel like going wild.

Overall – If you care about the quality of girls more than the atmosphere, this is a better option that the Cabaret Lounge down the street, but if you have any self-control at all, you're better off avoiding both of them.

TOTAL SCORE = 30.5