Friday, July 31, 2009

Sportsman's Inn (Providence, RI) - CLOSED

Note: This club closed in 2012, but I'll leave the review up as a history lesson for anyone who never got to experience Providence in all of its pre-2009 glory.

Quality of dances (15/20) – Everything is available, but most of the girls won't try to grind you to completion during the regular dances because that would hurt their extras business. Still, the lap dances are much better than at Cheaters, and there's plenty of contact in both directions.

Quality of dancers (2/10) – They have a few decent dancers, but these certainly are not Providence's finest. I wouln't even consider getting a dance from three-quarters of the girls in here.

Number of Dancers (4.5/10) – I've only been here during the day shift, but there have been significantly more dancers than customers each time I've visited. I can't give them too high of a score though, because most of those girls weren't even worth looking at.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (3.5/5) – There was a good mix of black, white, and Latina dancers, which should let you know just how unattractive these girls were. For me to not find a Latina attractive, she has to be heinous.

Attitude of dancers (4/10) – Maybe my expectations were lowered because of the atmosphere, but I actually found most of the dancers to be surprisingly pleasant. You're going to get some hustle-factor at any club that doubles as a whorehouse, but it's much less prevalent here than at Cheaters.

Value (5.5/10) – Dances are slightly overpriced with $5 going to club and $20 to the dancer, but you don't have to get a private room for extras, so you can save money there. Also, you can get dollar dances at the bar, and even though they aren't great, you can't complain for a dollar. Drinks are a fairly standard $4.

Dance Setup (9.5/10) – The dance setup is probably the best thing about the Sportsmans Inn. There are decent sized booths with a comfortable couch and an open door, but the door only faces at most one other booth. A guy takes your dance ticket when you walk downstairs, and he directs traffic to make sure that people aren't in opposing booths unless there aren't enough booths available to avoid it. So basically, you get a private dance booth for $5.

Club Setup (0.5/10) – This club is designed horribly. It's in a basement, and even though there's a pool table and a stage, everyone just congregates at the tiny bar, where there are only 5 or 6 pathetic little stools.

Club Atmosphere (1/10) – This is a good place to get your dick sucked, but other than that, I can't really see coming here. People have been murdered here in the past, and I'd be willing to bet they will be in the future.

Club Accessibility (5/5) – This club is in downtown Providence, right around the corner from the Satin Doll.

Overall – The Sportsman's Inn has a little bit of everything, but it isn't great at anything, which puts it in a tough spot in Providence. If you care about the "strip club aspects" of the club, you're better off at the Cadillac Lounge or Fantasies. If, on the other hand, you care about the "whorehouse aspects," then Cheaters is a better option, with far more fuckable girls. If you're looking for a mix of the two, I'd probably recommend splitting your night between two of the aforementioned clubs, but the Sportsman's Inn wouldn't be a bad option either.

TOTAL SCORE = 50.5

3 comments:

  1. wow thats a horrible thing to say about such hard working women but, i guess every one has different standards of taste.

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  2. would like to find a girl I met named melina.

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  3. I read in the paper, Sportsman Inn is closed. In the 1990's, I met a dancer there. The dancer is now my girlfriend. We been together over 12 years. She quit dancing after we met. Sportsman Inn changed our lives.

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