Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Gold Club After Dark (Hartford, CT)

Note: This is the nude, alcohol-free side of the Gold Club in Hartford. It is alternately referred to as the Gold Club Connection and the Gold Club After Dark.

Quality of Dances (8/20) – These dances are slightly better than at the topless club next door, primarily because there is no strange pedestal that the dancers are required to keep one foot on. There is one-way contact from the dancers, but touching of the dancers seems to be frowned upon. You might be able to get away with a little bit with some dancers, but that seems to be the exception rather than the rule. The grind action is alright, but nothing special. One dancer who works in both the topless and nude clubs did offer takeout, but she was really struggling to make any money because she was not the least bit attractive. I don't get the feeling that many, if any, of the attractive dancers offer their services outside the club.

Quality of Dancers (4.5/10) – Most of the girls were in the 6-7.5 range, but a few dancers who have no business being in this line of work bring down the score. A few of the dancers from the topless club don't work on the nude side, but for the most part, the girls walk back and forth between the clubs.

Number of Dancers (3.5/10) – They send a few girls over to the nude club when there are customers, but there aren't nearly as many over here as there are in the topless club. They seem to keep it stocked enough to keep the customer-to-dancer ratio decent, but there aren't usually many women to choose from.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3.5/5) – I've seen plenty of black, Latina, and white girls here, including at least one very friendly eastern European. There may be a slighly smaller percentage of white women in the nude club than in the topless club, though that could have just been the case on the few nights that I've been there.

Attitude of Dancers (1.5/10) – These girls seem to be clingy and pushy, which is a terrible combination. The day shift girls at the topless club aren't nearly as bad, but since the nude club is only open at night, they miss out on that slight boost in the rating.

Value (0/10) – I seriously considered giving them the first ever negative score for value. A $10 cover isn't great, but the real killer is $35 for the dances. I've had girls offer me a handjob in other clubs for that, and here you can't even touch the girl. That's just brutal.

Dance Setup (2/10) – The dances are given in a narrow raised area at the back of the club. There aren’t booths, but at least it isn't a bench either. The chairs are fairly comfortable, but for $35, the dances should be given on a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed in a room with a locking door. 

Club Setup (5/10) – The stage is about average and there are plenty of small tables throughout the room. I'd like to see some comfortable chairs and bigger tables, but I was pleased that the club was sufficiently dark.

Club Atmosphere (1/10) – As with all nude clubs in Connecticut, there's no alcohol here. The crowd seemed harmless, but an alcohol-free strip club is never going to score well on atmosphere.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – The club is in an industrial area in northern Hartford, but it isn’t too far from downtown and is right off of I-91.

Overall - This club is open after everything else in the area closes, but unless you're desperate to see some bush at 3am, there's no reason to come here. The topless Gold Club next door isn't good, but it's at least better than this.

RAW SCORE = 32.5

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