Camelot East (Lexington, KY)

Quality of Dances (8/20) – The dances at Camelot East as mediocre as can be.  The girls all provide some slow, sensual friction, but there isn't much grinding and two way contact is rarely encouraged.  Several girls promise that much more fun can be had in the VIP room, but I need to see a little more out of the girls during the regular dances before I consider dropping that kind of cash, so I can't confirm that.   

Quality of Dancers (6/10) – Just like the dances, the dancers at this place are pretty run-of-the-mill.  I saw two beauties, but most of the girls were 6s and 7s, and a few would rate a little below that.  They do have decent quality control, though, because I didn't see anyone who was terribly unattractive.

Number of Dancers (5.5/10) – They had over a dozen women working during my lone Saturday evening visit, which was at least one dancer for every customer.  Unfortunately, half of them barely peaked their heads out of the dressing room and the other half barely circulated, so it took way too long to get anyone's attention to get a dance.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) – Like a lot of the other Lexington clubs, this place has mostly white dancers with a few token black girls.  A few hot redheads and a few slightly thicker (though still far from thick) girls were enough to keep things interesting for my hour and a half long visit, but I'd have definitely gotten bored by these ladies if I'd stayed for an entire evening.

Attitude of Dancers (4/10) – I saw a few strung-out girls, but most of them are fairly friendly once you get a chance to talk to them.  The real problem, though, is that it's next to impossible to get any of them to talk to you if you aren't a regular.

Value (5/10) – The good news is that the cover is only $5, the $5 table dances are a bargain and you can get beers for just $3.75.  The bad news is that the dances are overpriced at $25 for the topless version or $40 for fully nude and the stage action is fairly weak, with entire songs frequently playing to an empty stage.  If you want to upgrade to private dances, that will run you $100 for 15 minutes or $50 plus whatever you negotiate with the dancer for a half hour.

Dance Setup (2/10) –  Dances are given on relatively comfortable couches in a separate raised area near the entrance of the club.  No one from the main part of the club can see you, but there's no privacy within the dance room.  That means that anyone else who is back there can see as much as they want, so it's pretty bad if other guys are getting dances at the same time.

Club Setup (2.5/10) – Camelot East really makes an effort to pull off the classy look but somehow falls short of that and just ends up being sterile.  That's a big step up from their other location, which leaves you feeling like you need to be sterilized, but I hate the long white tablecloth look at an otherwise mediocre club.  The tables themselves are only big enough for two people and all of the seats are lined up to face the medium sized stage in the center of the room.  The tables at least break up the rows of chairs enough to prevent it from feeling too much like a theater, but I'd much rather avoid them and sit at the bench along the right side wall or the small but nice bar near the entrance.  The one place I really don't want to be sitting, though, is on their stall-less shitter.  I guess they're just trying to prevent guys from going in there and beating off, but having to worry about that kind of undermines their attempts at classiness.  

Club Atmosphere (2/10) – The setup prevents this place from working for large groups and the sterility prevents it from being ideal for a quick beer after work, so I'm really not sure who it's supposed to appeal to.  It seems safe enough, but I was itching to leave by the end of my first beer and generally wouldn't want to hang out there for an extended period of time.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – I've seen strip clubs in strip malls before, but this is the first time that I've ever seen one that shares a strip mall with a church.  I don't know which was there first, but I'm impressed that they can coexist.  You don't need to worry about anyone seeing you go into the club though, because Camelot East's entrance is at the back of the building.  The club is a few miles from downtown, but they have plenty of parking and there's a bus stop right across the street.

Overall – That's like a 40-degree day. Ain't nobody got nothing to say about a 40-degree day. Fifty. Bring a smile to your face. Sixty, shit, niggas is damn near barbecuing on that motherfucker. Go down to 20, niggas get their bitch on. Get their blood complaining. But forty? Nobody give a fuck about 40. Nobody remember 40, and y'all niggas is giving me way too many 40-degree days! What the fuck? ~ Stringer Bell (The Wire)

Camelot East is the 40-degree day of strip clubs.  Not good enough to warrant a visit or bad enough to be memorable.  Just average or slightly below across the board.  

RAW SCORE = 41