North Hollywood Deja Vu (North Hollywood, CA)

Quality of Dances (13.5/20) – The narrow booths mean that you won’t be able to spread your legs to the optimal grind-inducing angle, but, otherwise, these dances are very good with full two-way contact often encouraged and almost always tolerated.  Several of the ladies implied that extra services would be available during the VIP sessions, but I got the feeling that this was more of a sales pitch than a promise, at least from most of them. 

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – Most of the ladies are fairly young and attractive, and I was surprised to see that there were less implants in the room during my visit than at most of the other clubs in southern California.  And you should particularly enjoy the sights if you’re into the porn star look, because several of these ladies are in the industry.  Though hearing about how a girl just finished shooting a blow bang scene didn’t really make her more attractive in my eyes. 

Number of Dancers (6.5/10) – There were about twenty women working on the Sunday night of my visit, and since the club was dead, that should have been more than enough.  Unfortunately, only one or two women were working the sparse crowd for most of the evening since everyone else was doing who-knows-what in the dressing room.  Still, the total number meant that patient customers had plenty of women to chose from.

Variety of Dancers (4.5/5) – They lose half a point because almost all of the ladies were on the thin side, but the variety was otherwise perfect.  Black, white, Latina and Asian ladies were all well represented. 

Attitudes (2/10) – A few of these ladies were nice, but overall, I was less than impressed.  My biggest issue is that most of them were content to stay in the dressing room, presumably waiting for their regulars to show up, rather than cultivating new business.  I could see if one or two girls were in bad moods and were doing that, but it was easily three-quarters of the workforce.   The worst were the girls who would line up on the stage for the dance specials, then walk straight to the dressing room without even giving customers a chance to give them some money.   If you don’t want my money, I’m fine with hanging onto it, but why even show up if that’s your attitude? 

Plus, when some of the ladies did mingle, I kindof wished that they hadn’t.  One in particular had a real attitude when I turned down her offer for a dance, saying, “Oh, so you’re just hanging out taking in the free show?”  No, I’ve spent a few hundred dollars on other girls over the last hour while you were busy sitting in the dressing room. 

Value (6/10) – Dances are a solid value, and since they have the dance counting machines, you can’t be ripped off.  If you’re not familiar with those machines, you insert your money before the dance, then it counts down the time until the end of the dance, when a red light goes on, alerting you that your dance is over unless you add more cash. The regular dances are $20 for about 3 minutes, dances in the couch area are $60 for three songs and the normal VIP price is $150.  The cover charge is a steep $20, but that’s understandable since this is an alcohol-free club and you can get free sodas throughout your visit.  Plus you can save half of the cover charge by printing out this free admission coupon – and, no, that’s sadly not a typo.  They claim that of the $20 fee to get in, $10 is for admission (that’s waived with the coupon) and $10 is for an “entertainment fee” that you still have to pay.  As long as you consider that money to be going toward the sodas that you’ll drink, it’s doesn’t seem like too much of a rip off. 

Club Setup (6.5/10) – This is a fairly large club, with a ton of small tables with rolly chairs spread throughout the room.  The crowd area is a little brighter than I’d like, but the lighting on stage is tastefully bright, and everyone has a nice view of the ladies.  The stage itself is fairly nice and they even have a rain making machine that can be a fun way to waste $20.  The way it works is that you put a $20 bill into the machine, and it will either give you 19 ones back or you can press a button so that it will rain 19 ones down on the stage.  It’s gimmicky, but I did it once to try it, and the girl came over afterwards and seemed to be genuinely appreciative to get her money that way rather than through the normal tipping routine.  And, since a happy dancer makes for a happy customer, it ended up being $20 well spent.   

Dance Setup (6/10) – The dance booths are tiny, but that has it’s pluses and minuses.  On the bright side, it means that you have a good bit of privacy, especially since they’re angled in a way that really prevents anyone from getting a direct view of what you’re up to.  The drawback, however, is that larger customers might feel a little cramped and your legs aren’t going to be able to spread wide enough to allow for maximum access.  Besides that, the only thing that’s noteworthy about the dance setup is the aforementioned dance counting machines, which really do add to the experience by eliminating the need to divert some of your attention from the girl to counting to make sure that you aren’t being ripped off.  I really wish every club had those machines. 

Atmosphere (2/10) – Maybe it was the lack of alcohol combined with the lack of a bar within walking distance, or maybe it was the long stretches of empty stage, or maybe it was the slightly rough looking crowd, but, whatever it was, the bottom line is that I didn’t particularly enjoy hanging out at this club.  It wasn’t bad enough to keep me away and I wouldn’t mind sticking around if a girl caught my eye, but I would never plan on spending my evening here.

Location (3/5) – The club is in an industrial part of North Hollywood beside the railroad tracks.  I don’t really know the neighborhood so I’m not sure whether it’s a safe area, but you can valet park your car in a garage inside the building for a few bucks, so you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. 

Overall – The North Hollywood Deja Vu is a nice club and is worth a visit if you’re in the area, but the fact that most of the girls hang out in the dressing room the majority of the time makes it frustrating to the point that I can’t recommend going too far out of your way to get there.  If you’re going to travel to get to a Deja Vu, just go to the one in the City of Industry, because it’s a significantly better club. 

RAW SCORE = 57.5