2001 Odyssey (Tampa, FL)

Quality of Dances (18/20) – Regular lap dances don’t get a whole lot better than the fully nude grinding versions with plenty of stick shifting that you get at 2001 Odyssey.  If you’re looking for more than that, it will cost you (I’ve heard prices in the $300-400 range for some services that go above and beyond), but it’s always nice to have options.  I’ve never gone for that, but I can confirm that the $200 dances in the spaceship are excellent.  I was going to make a joke about blasting off, but it would be too corny, so I’ll just say this – they’ll usually offer to make you cum in your pants.

Quality of Dancers (7/10) – You might expect a little more quality out of a famous club like this, but they don’t have any terribly unattractive girls and a few of them are stunning.  Most, though, are in the 6-7 range. 

Number of Dancers (8/10) – There are usually two girls on the tiny stage at a time, and there are almost too many working the crowd considering how small this place is. I’m sure the number of customers goes way up on weekends, but the dancer to customer ratio has always been greater than 1-to-1 during my weeknight visits.  

Variety of Dancers (2/5) – You’re going to find mostly thin white dancers at just about any of the Tampa clubs, but there are at least a few curves and black girls mixed in at this place. 

Attitudes (2/10) – 2001 is a hustle hut.  “Wanna dance?” is about the extent of the conversation, and most girls try to hide the fact that there’s supposed to be a $5 fee paid to the bouncer every time that you go for a dance.  Once you spend some cash, some of the girls soften up, but even that isn’t a sure thing.   

Value (3/10) – The $15 cover is to be expected at an alcohol-free club, but they need to either lower it a little or drop the 1 drink minimum.  The club also theoretically takes $5 each time that you go to the dance room, but I’ve found that they usually only charge that a few times if you tip the bouncer a few bucks or if you’re a lap dance fiend like me.  The value for the dances themselves, though, isn’t too bad at $25 for each relatively short song, and the stage value is pretty solid. 

Club Setup (3/10) – For such a famous joint, this place is shockingly undersized.  There’s a small stage and several small tables with shitty chairs, and there’s a small juice bar, but you should be spending most of your time getting dances anyway, so the fact that it isn’t a great setup isn’t a dealbreaker. The only real bright spot on the inside is the rain making machine, but the spaceship on the roof of the building is so amazingly ridiculous that I had to give them a few points here. 

Dance Setup (4/10) – You get your own mirrored booth during the regular dances, but the privacy is still limited since people can see you when they walk by and cameras are pointed right at you.  The setup in the spaceship is much better, but that’s to be expected since it’s $200 to go up there. 

Atmosphere (3/10) – 2001 is more laid back than Mons Venus, but it still has a fun party vibe.  The score would be much higher if they served alcohol, but I didn’t even miss that too much since there are liquor stores and a convenience store within walking distance, so you can periodically pound some drinks in the parking lot to keep the buzz going.  I wouldn’t go for multiple consecutive Modelo tallboys though, because that didn’t work out so well for me the last time I was there. 

Location (4/5) – There’s a reasonably priced HoJo next door and the world famous Mons Venus is right across the street, plus it’s right by Scores if you want to down a few adult beverages without going the paper bag route.  It’s a little out of the way if you’re staying in downtown Tampa, but why would you do that when you could just crash by this little oasis of excellent strip clubs?

Overall – I like Mons Venus better overall, but 2001 Odyssey is a very good club in its own right and actually has slightly better lap dances and infinitely better potential if you’re looking for more than a lap dance.  Since you can walk back and forth between the two, you might as well hit both in one night.  

RAW SCORE = 54