Quality of dances (14/20) – In a move that was either
incredibly clutch or incredibly sleazy (probably the latter), one of my best
friends fingered a girl on the main floor. Yes, he’s a handsome dude who tends
to get more mileage than the average guy, but that should still give you a good
idea of the type of dances you can expect here. No matter where you are in the
club, you’re gonna get a very good grind with her hands on your junk and
possibly creeping up your shorts (Okay, I confess, I wore shorts to the club. I
know that’s a faux pas. But it was fucking 95 degrees and I was walking from
club to club; there was nothing I could do). Most girls will invite you to
grope them on the main floor while promising much more in the VIP. I didn’t hit
up the VIP room (see below), so I can’t claim that I know what goes on back
there. But let’s just say if you’re shy, I wouldn’t recommend it.
Quality of dancers (6.5/10) – In contrast to Diamond Dolls,
which I had visited directly before here, I didn’t see any stone-cold stunners.
It was mostly a mix of 6s and 7s, women who you’d almost certainly sleep with
and who would be hot in most other contexts, but lacked that jene se qua to put them over the top. I think this captures my feelings nicely. The one advantage to the Booby Trap, though, was that I didn't see any dropoff in talent from the night shift to the day shift.
Number of dancers (7.5/10) – Between fifteen to twenty
dancers on a Thursday with probably one for every customer. Can’t complain
about that.
Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) – Like virtually every
South Florida club, the women are largely white with some black girls mixed in,
but virtually no other diversity, other than differences in the range of
curves.
Attitude of Dancers (8/10) – “I don’t dance, I just play,” said
the stripper when she literally refused to dance for me. And I’ll tell you,
even though I really wanted that dance, I appreciated her candor. She ended up
hanging around for a bit, having a drink and then finding someone else to “play”
with. That straightforward attitude was standard practice at the Booby Trap.
Most women were agenda-driven, but that agenda didn’t get in the way of their
socializing and having a good time.
Value (7.5/10) – The $5.25 Miller Lites are a little overpriced, but they're a bargain during the day since they're 2-4-1. Dances are $10 on the
floor, $25 in back room, and $50 to the club plus whatever you negotiate with the girl for 5 songs in the VIP room (though the implication was that what they do back there doesn't usually require 5 songs).
I want to take a quick moment here to highlight the best
part of the Booby Trap, something that transforms this from a very good club to
a must-visit. The cover is $5 at night (there's no cover during the day, but self parking is a buck), but you get a free a burger and fries from
the bar on Thursday nights and during the day all week. And the burgers are goddamn incredible. I don’t know what the fuck
they are putting in those things, but I hope they never stop. My burger was so
good that I went back the next day just to make sure my impressions from the
night before weren’t influenced by some Four Loko-induced euphoria. I was
stone-cold sober in the middle of the afternoon and it was just as good, if not
better, than the night before. Eat this burger.
Dance Setup (5/10) – For $25 dances, there’s an area in the
back of the club containing 6-8 booths with dividers in between them. Although
they aren’t visible from the rest of the club, several of the booths face each
other, and anyone walking through to get a dance can sneak a peek of what
you’re up to. The only way to get any real privacy is to take the last booth.
Of course, remember that you won’t be the first guy that night who came up with
that idea, so buyer beware when it comes to getting a clean place to sit.
Club Setup (7.5/10) – Almost immediately upon entering,
you’re greeted by a quiet bar that sits far from the action, but is a decent
spot to have a drink and chill. From there, you enter the main floor of the
club. There’s a smallish main stage directly in the middle of the club and a
mostly ignored stage near the back. A large bar lines the one wall, a long bench is along another wall and there are a number of tables and rolly chairs on the floor. Seating
is ample and it’s hard to imagine you’d ever have a problem getting a spot. The
two major problems with the setup are that the seats are a little too close for
my tastes and there are absolutely no dark corners in which to chill. Solve
those issues and this score will be pushing a 9.
Club Atmosphere (5/10) – Jesus Christ is the lighting
terrible in this place. I’m talking about hospital-like levels of brightness.
My working theory is that it’s an intentional choice by the club owners to
drive business back towards the VIP rooms where the real action can happen.
That’s such a shame, because it otherwise has incredible potential, especially since they have a breathalizer machine that you can use to see which one of your friends can blow the highest score. With that
lighting, though, it doesn’t matter how hard they work; it will never have
either an intimate or party vibe. Instead, you’re looking at a place where
you’re going to catch the eye of your fellow customer way more often than you’d
prefer.
Club Accessibility (2/5) – Hmmm. It’s walkable from two
other clubs and from the prison. Other than that, it’s a long-ass cab ride from
Fort Lauderdale.
Overall – Apparently, the Booby Trap used to have a policy
where if you showed up with your discharge papers from the prison, you got free
admission and a free drink (FYI: this policy does not exist anymore, as I
learned when a just-released female inmate tried to enter the club at the same
time as I and a friend. Don’t worry, like gentlemen, we paid her admission and
bought her a few beers). Just the fact that such a policy used to exist makes
this spot worthy of a recommendation. When you add in the free burger and high
mileage, it’s a must visit.
TOTAL SCORE = 65
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