Seventh Heaven (Tokyo, Japan)

Quality of Dances (11/20) –Two way contact is expected, there’s some grinding, and some girls make hand contact with your crotch, but you shouldn’t be coming in your pants here unless you’ve got a very quick trigger.  That's not my style anyway, but I can't really blame some guys for expecting an effort to finish the job since you're paying about $85 US for each dance.  

Quality of Dancers (8/10) – I'd have preferred to see less implants, but it's still hard to have any major complaints about the ladies at Seventh Heaven.  Almost all of them are very attractive in a generic Eastern European sort of way.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – Two girls are on stage at all times and they have more than enough working the crowd to make sure that every group of guys is accompanied by at least one lady.  In total, there were probably a little over two dozen dancers working on the night that I was there.   

Variety of Dancers (2/5) – Surprisingly, there aren’t many Japanese women at Seventh Heaven, but there are at least a few, and there was one very attractive black dancer mixed in with all of the Russians. 

Attitudes (6/10) – This place operates on the drink hustle system, but most of the ladies are relatively friendly and will leave you alone if you turn them down when the club presents a lineup of girls for you to chose from upon your arrival. 

Value (0/10) – Even though it includes two free drinks, the 7000 yen (about $85 US) cover is ridiculous, and the 1500 yen beers and 7000 yen four minute lap dances aren’t much better.  You can probably negotiate a slightly lower cover charge, but even if they waive it (they almost certainly will not), a night at Seventh Heaven will not be cheap.  On the bright side, you do get free edamame to snack on.     

Club Setup (5.5/10) – This is a medium sized club, but it feels cramped since there’s a huge divider in the club that effectively splits it in half and prevents you from seeing anything that’s happening on the other side.  There’s a small stage on each side, a small bar in the back and several nice couches, tables and chairs throughout, which do give it a slightly classy look.

Dance Setup (7/10) – The night was pretty hazy by this point and I forgot to write down any notes about the dance setup, but I’m fairly certain that I had a private room. Or at least I wasn’t sober enough to notice anyone else in there. 

Atmosphere (6/10) – For better or worse (I think worse), between the American music and the white girls, there’s nothing Japanese about the vibe in this place.  The crowd is somewhat mixed, but it’s mostly made up of locals with white fever, though all of the Japanese guys were fighting over the one Japanese dancer on the night that I was there. Go figure.

Since dances are so expensive, most people seem to just hang out, drink a few overpriced beers and take in the stage show.  It’s fairly weak for the most part, but I do have to give one girl credit for the most impressive (or most reckless) move I’ve ever seen.  She had a guy lay down on the stage with cash on mouth, then she spun around the pole several times with her knees just inches over him before coming to rest with her crotch on his face to take the cash.  Either she knew exactly where her knees were or she didn’t care if she knocked out all of his teeth, because it was a matter of inches.     

Location (5/5) – Seventh Heaven is within easy walking distance of many hotels and the Roppongi Metro stop. 

Overall – Seventh Heaven isn’t a bad club, but it’s certainly nowhere near being the #7 strip club in the world, as it was ranked by askmen.com. If I was in Tokyo for months on end and got homesick for a Western style strip club, I’d probably stop by again, but it’s not worth the cash otherwise. 

RAW SCORE = 46.5