Quality
of Dances (14.5/20) – These are some of the most aggressive lap dances that
I’ve gotten in Las Vegas. There’s great grinding, upper and lower body two-way
contact is encouraged (my hand was moved straight to one girl’s crotch despite
me having neither the intention nor the interest in reaching down there), and
the girls that I got dances from were active with their hands and mouths over
the pants. Extras would be difficult given the lack of privacy, but I wouldn’t
be shocked to find out that some of these girls offer them anyway.
Quality
of Dancers (2/10) – Sadly, there was nothing bonita about these chicas. Out of
the eight dancers who were working when I stopped by, only 2 would have been
above a 5 on the 0-10 non-dancer scale, and there would a few who could not
have paid me to accept a dance.
Number
of Dancers (3/10) – There were nearly as many dancers as customers during my
afternoon visit, but I can’t give them too much credit since there were only
two attractive ladies in the building. You shouldn’t have to wait too long for
attention since the regulars don’t seem to be big spenders, but you’re out of
luck if you’re hoping to have a lot of beauties to choose from.
Variety
of Dancers (1.5/5) – There’s a nice mix of thin and very thick black and Latina
dancers, but there are exactly as many white dancers as you would expect from a
club called Chicas Bonitas.
Attitudes
(6/10) – Despite the fact that this is a neighborhood type of place where
everyone is treated well, these ladies had a hard edge to them that prevented
me from wanting to get into any long conversations. They’re not unfriendly, but
I don’t think you’ll be making any real connections with these dancers.
Value
(7/10) – For Vegas, it’s hard to complain about no cover charge, $4.50 drinks
and $10 table dances, and even the $25 lap dances in the back aren’t a bad
deal. If you’ve blown all your money at the casinos and the more upscale clubs,
this might not be a bad place to stretch a buck if you care more about a
bargain than you do about your personal safety.
Club
Setup (1.5/10) – There’s a brightly lit main stage in the front, a large bar
with TVs showing soccer games in the back, and a ton of uncomfortable chairs
with wraparound tables attached throughout the club. Those chair/table combos
were annoying enough in elementary school, but in a strip club where women
should be sitting on your lap, they’re completely inexcusable.
Dance
Setup (2.5/10) – Dances are given in a back room that’s mostly separated from
the main room by a curtain, but the curtain is somewhat sheer and there’s a big
opening in the middle where people can look in, and the bouncer pokes his head
in once per song to make sure that you aren’t haven’t too much fun. A soft
bench goes around the perimeter of the back room so there are plenty of choices
of places to sit, but there’re no dividers or anything else to block the view
of other people who are getting dances. Luckily, table dances seem to be a more
popular option than real lap dances, so you shouldn’t have too much company in
the dance room if you do decide to go back there.
Atmosphere
(0/10) – I enjoyed the mix of hip hop and Latin music, but that’s pretty much
the only good thing I can say about the atmosphere in here. Seeing a shoving
match and a drunk guy passed out in the club without management reacting in any
way whatsoever would be bad enough at night, but it’s just ridiculous to
witness that during the day shift. If you do go here, I strongly encourage you
to do so before the sun goes down, because I got the impression that this is
the kind of place where some of the customers could get a little stabby at
night.
Location
(1.5/5) – It’s right down the street from the Palomino (the only nude Las Vegas
club that serves alcohol) and is right across the street from a relatively
small casino, but Chicas Bonitas is pretty far out of the way if you’re staying
on the Strip or even on Freemont Street.
Overall
– Chicas Bonitas is the type of place where, if you’re murdered, no one will
feel bad for you. It’s kind of what you expect to have happen when you go to a
place called Chicas Bonitas in North Las Vegas. Now, don’t get me wrong, there
are many strip clubs that I love so much that I’m willing to visit even if it
means that I have to risk dying a death that will bring shame upon my family. It’s
just that Chicas Bonitas is not one of them. If you’re in this neighborhood and are
desperate to hit a club, go to the Palomino and let me know what you think. I
still haven’t been there, but it has to be better than this dump.
RAW
SCORE = 39.5
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