Sunday, May 23, 2010

Pier 34 Lounge (Seymour, CT)

Quality of Dances (12.5/20) – There's a lot of variation between girls here, but I've experienced a few dancers who are very generous with their hands and their mouths over the pants. Whether or not you're interested in having these girls touch you may be a different story, but that aside, the dance quality is pretty good.

Quality of Dancers (1.5/10) – You might find a gem here from time to time, but overall, the quality is about what you'd expect from a dive bar in the middle of nowhere. They were too friendly for me to feel good about being harsh here, but I'll just say that most of the girls that I've seen have been bigger, older, or both.

Number of Dancers (1/10) – Even though there aren't a whole lot of customers, two girls working on a Friday night just isn't very good.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (2/5) – The sample size is small, but I've only seen white and Brazilian girls here. There's a wide variety of body types and ages, though the variety in both of those categories go beyond what most customers would be interested in seeing.

Attitude of Dancers (9/10) – The girls here are about as friendly as you'll ever find in a club. Given the dance setup and the quality of girls, I'm guessing that most of the customers come here for the conversation more than anything else, and these dancers are nice enough to make that possible.

Value (5/10) – There isn't a cover charge (or at least there hasn't been while I've been there), beers are $4, and dances are $20. If you get one of the better dancers, $20 isn't a terrible value. I haven't seen much stage action, but that's probably a good thing.

Dance Setup (0.5/10) – There are two small benches in a corner of the main area of the club where they give the dances. Most of the people at the bar can't see you, but management does have a decent view from the one end of the bar, and anyone at the stage can watch.

Club Setup (3/10) – There's a small bar, a decent but barely used stage, and a big open room with a few shitty tables scattered around. They also have two pool tables by the bar, but I haven't seen anyone using them.

Club Atmosphere (4/10) – If you're looking for a dive bar to have a drink and joke around with the dancers and bartender, it's pretty solid. Honestly, I have no idea why I enjoyed it here, but I did, so I'll give it a decent score. Just don't expect a traditional strip club vibe, because it doesn't have that.

Club Accessibility (1/5) – This club is in the middle of nowhere, but I do like the somewhat unique location right beside the Housatonic River.

Overall – I actually have a soft spot for this place as a dive bar, but if you're hoping to see attractive topless women, you'll have to go somewhere else.

RAW SCORE = 39.5

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