Sunday, February 5, 2012

Hallo Bar (Budapest, Hungary)

Quality of Dances (14/20) – “You touch me anywhere and I’ll touch you anywhere” was the sales pitch, and for the most part, they delivered.  No one tried to get inside my pants, but there was plenty of over-the-pants rubbing, tit grabbing was encouraged, and the girls get fully nude.  These are the best dances in Budapest, though they’re not quite good enough to make up for some of the drawbacks of this place.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – I didn’t see any real stunners, but, with one unfortunate exception, the entire work force was in the 6-8 range.  Overall, it’s enough to make for some decent eye candy even if there’s no one that you feel like you absolutely must get a dance with.

Number of Dancers (7/10) – With twice as many dancers as booths (15 and 7, respectively), everyone who wants to be joined by a few ladies will be.  The number of dancers was just about perfect for a small club like this. 

Variety of Dancers (1.5/5) – You won’t like Hungary if you don’t like relatively thin white girls, but there is at least a variety of skin tones at Hallo Bar.

Attitudes (0/10) – Watch out for ripoffs at this place, because agreeing to buy a girl a drink does not ensure that she’s going to buy one of the cheaper ones.  I thought I was pretty clear about what I was buying for one girl, but made the mistake of allowing her to place the order in Hungarian, then she got something that was moderately more expensive.  Not enough to break the bank (though they do have some of those drinks on the menu), but I hate spending time with a girl who rips me off for even a cent (or, in this case, about $15 US).  Even the ones who don’t try stunts like that are relentless with the sales pitch, asking you to buy a drink immediately, then if you do get one, they immediately ask you to buy the other, and this process repeats from the time she sits down until the time you cut her off or leave. 

Value (1.5/10) – There’s no cover, the nude stage show is a solid value, and dances aren’t bad at 10000 HUF (about $50 US) for 10 minutes of moderate to high contact, but watch out for the drinks because that’s where the club makes its money.  2000 HUF for a bottle of Heineken is rough, but it’s a bargain compared to the dancer drinks that start at 15000 HUF (about $75 US) and go up to at least 90000 HUF (about $450 US).  Whatever you do, pay in cash as you go, because I strongly suspect that a few of those 90000 HUF drinks will find their way to your bill if you use a card.  If you are going to go here, at least plan ahead and print out the free beer coupon from their website, because they do honor it.  

Club Setup (4/10) – This is a fairly classy looking place with a long raised runway-style stage in the center of the room, seating around the stage, a bar at the far end, and seven booths around the outside of the room.  It’s small enough that everyone has a good view of the stage, but you’re pretty much out of luck if there are at least 7 other groups of customers in the place. 

Dance Setup (8/10) – There are only 2 dance seats, so you may have to wait for one of them to open up (that’s just enough time for the girl to ask you to buy her another champagne), but once you get there, it’s nice and private.  You sit on a small bench/couch hybrid thing, and thick black curtains surround you.  It’s not a large area, but I’ll take privacy over spaciousness any day. 

Atmosphere (5.5/10) – There’s a fairly solid party vibe to this place, but the booth setup makes it unintimidating for more conservative customers who just want to relax as well.  Unfortunately, the ever-present sense that you’re about to be ripped off prevents you from being able to enjoy it as much as you should.

Location (4.5/5) - Hallo Bar is two blocks from the Octagon and is within walking distance of the touristy part of the Pest side of Budapest.  There’s also another strip club across the street, but I’d tread very carefully in there (or avoid it altogether), because I’ve been told that it’s a pure rip-off joint.

Overall – I’m never a fan of clubs that rely on overpriced dancer drinks to make their money, but when done properly, I’m occasionally willing to put up with it.  At Hallo Bar, though, it’s so bad that I’ll never return despite the fact that they have the best lap dances in town. 

RAW SCORE = 53.5


  1. I just got back from 4 days in Budapest and before hand had read plenty that would make someone dubious. We hired a guide our first night and she took us here at the end of it.
    We got free entry and were charged 2000 huf (£6.50)for our first drink and the second one came free, the thing I found weird after my pre trip research was that in none of the strip bars were we asked to buy the dancers a drink, maybe as we were in a group, they assumed we'd drink plenty and get plenty of dances anyway.
    As for the dancers, I agree, none were stunners here but the majority were very tidy with nice bodies, 1 exception been the poor girl who looked like sally gunnell. Anyway, the dances started at 10,000 huf (£30ish) and from all the reviews from my friends, whichever girl you decided upon was pretty much the same, you could touch them anywhere and the favour was returned. In addition to this it seemed the norm to offer extras and especially on quieter nights it was easy enough to play it cool and barter them down. Without going into too much detail for 20,000 huf each (£60ish) 2 of our group took 1 of the girls into a room for an hour and were allowed to do anything they liked pretty much.
    We attended 3 strip clubs in total, here, marylins which we abandoned after about an hour and returned to this place and fourplay where the girls were more attractive, some were absolutely stunning but there was a no extras allowed policy, saying that, we did go there on a saturday night and it was busy, maybe on quieter nights this changes. Depending on what youre looking for, this place is definitely worth a visit.

  2. Visited Hallo bar in April and all I can say is we went back again he night! It is so laid back and comfortable, I had down loaded the drink voucher and it was greeted with a smile. The girls were fantastic, they casually sit down with you and talk then they just tell you their rates. Its up to you to haggle and they are pretty much up to doing deals. The quality of girls was very good when we were there, about 8 in all half were all natural and very firm.
    There was no entrance fee and a part from 1 bruiser on the door that was it, it just offers a great relaxing experience with no intimidation at all.
    Charges havent changed much as 10,000 hufs was the price for an all feely dance and you will be offered more but not in a forceful way. Oh and if you go back the girls will recognise you and do you a better deal if you 've had them before!
    Thoroughly recommended.