Friday, June 28, 2013

Cheetahs (Las Vegas, NV)

Most recent visit: September, 2016

Quality of Dances (12/20) – The lack of privacy prevents anything too crazy from going on, but most girls provide a good grind and are open to two-way contact. Although there’s still variation from one girl to the next, a “bad” dance at Cheetahs now is comparable to the best dances that I received here a few years ago.

Quality of Dancers (7.5/10) – There’s more variation in quality at Cheetahs than you’ll find at most of the other big name Vegas clubs, with some girls I’d go out of my way to avoid, some stone-cold killers and everything in between, but it’s a fairly impressive workforce overall and I don’t think anyone will have a problem finding several worthy girls on any given visit.

Number of Dancers (8.5/10) – The number of women varies, but it’s usually perfect for the number of customers. When the club is busy, it’s absolutely teeming with women, and when it’s slow, they still have more than enough women to keep everyone entertained.  During each of my visits, virtually every group of patrons has been joined by multiple women, and I’m always approached by one or more within minutes of arriving.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (5/5) – Name your shape, size, race or country; you’ll find it at Cheetahs.

Attitude of Dancers (9/10) – It seems crazy to say that the best dancer attitudes of all time could be at a famous Vegas club, but my group and I interacted with dozens of them over our three most recent visits and all of them were at least friendly if not downright awesome. One girl in particular spent about 4 hours on my lap, only getting up to pour me drinks, before I gave her so much as a dollar. Even when we did go for dances, it was at my request, not hers. Of course, don’t take advantage of that or they’ll become a whole lot less friendly in a hurry, but if you take care of them, they’ll take care of you. These girls really are great.   

Value (6.5/10) – The cover is $20 if you arrive by cab, but they’ll waive it if you take their limo or valet park your own car for $20. Most of the other prices aren’t too bad with regular dances being $20, slightly more private dances 3-for-$100, and 30 minutes in the VIP “G-Spot” going for $200, but the $9 beers are pretty rough. Fortunately, at least on Sunday through Wednesday nights, you can get a bucket of 5 beers for a reasonable $31 or a 1L bottle of liquor and 3 mixers for $125, which is a huge bargain.

Dance Setup (1.5/10) – As long as they aren’t too busy, most of the girls will take you to rows of benches along the front or back walls, but some of the dances occur right on the crowded main floor, where even the most dexterous dancer will have a hard time doing her thing. Fortunately, if you’re willing to drop a reasonable $200 to go to the “G-Spot” (named for Jack Galardi, the former owner of Cheetahs and Miami’s King of Diamonds, among other clubs), you’ll have a lot more space and won’t be visible to anyone other than the half dozen or so other girls/guys who are giving/receiving dances.

Club Setup (6.5/10) – Cheetahs has the classic strip club setup that one sees in TV shows and movies: a single longish stage in the center of the club, a long bar lining a raised area off to the side, and a bunch of small tables (3-4 seats) all around. Although it’s a little cramped, it has been renovated somewhat over the past few years and has some dark corners where you can sit without all eyes on you, and I really like it overall.

Club Atmosphere (8.5/10) – From the bouncer who offered to allow me to bring my In-N-Out burger into the club, to the girls who latched onto our arms the second we walked in, to the bartender who promised to recommend a “Peter Tips” aka a “Dirty Peter” (redbull with a double shot of whiskey) to anyone who can’t decide what drink to order, to the DJ who played an hour block of hip hop at my request, my group is always treated like VIPs at this place, and I have no reason to believe that everyone doesn’t receive similar treatment. With its tendency to draw large crowds for a small space, Cheetahs could easily have a meat market type atmosphere, but they do a nice job of avoiding that vibe. The low lighting goes a long way to make up for the close quarters and the music keeps the energy up nicely.

Club Accessibility (3.5/5) – Like all Vegas clubs, Cheetahs isn’t walkable, but it’s just a short cab or limo ride away from anywhere on the Strip.

Overall – The Spearmint Rhino is a bigger spectacle, the dances are better at Little Darlings, the happy hour is cheaper at Treasures and the setup is better at Hustler, but is there a better all-around club in Las Vegas right now than Cheetahs? Based on the fact that my group ended up here 3 of the 4 nights that we were in town during my most recent trip, I don’t think that there is. Either way, Cheetahs is a great club that has easily earned my Seal of Approval.

RAW SCORE = 68.5


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