Friday, October 14, 2016

Notes on Crystal City Restaurant (Arlington, VA)

As I mentioned in my Penthouse Detroit post, I'm clearing out some old notes. I'm just going to post them as is, so they won't be in full sentence and may not make any sense at all, but hopefully they're of some use to you. Just keep in mind that these aren't proper reviews - they may have been based on only 1 or 2 visits that probably took place 2-3 years ago, and I may have been extremely intoxicated. 

Club Setup (6/10) Like a restaurant. Tables with table cloth and lots of booths. Separate room enclosed by glass for cigars. Bars at both sides (small one in main area and small one in smoking section) lots of TVs, electronic board with betting odds. Seems like a place bookies would hang out but not sure? Smallish main stage with a few seats and poles at the corners but can't do pole moves on those ones. Horizontal bar at the top but not really utilized. 

Atmosphere (6/10) business crowd. Old dudes in business attire. Top 40 type music. 

Girls (6/10) Pasties and thongs. Mostly a little older but still hot. None amazing but mostly decent other than one rough one. Pasties small enough to not be bad. Some implants but not too many. 

Number (4/10) hardly any sit with customers but one on each stage and short stage sets so get to see a variety but hard to estimate #

Variety. (1.5/5) some size and age variation but mostly white with medium build.  A few thin and a few thick and one amazing part Latina/Asian?  One blond. A few black. 

Attitudes (3/10) tip walk but no pressure. Smile on stage. They take tips in their hands while doing the tip walk and pick them up off the stage so not much interaction. That's why bad score. Not actually unfriendly. Seems like should be great . Can buy dances from waitress. One dancer warned that the rules were too strict and the dance wouldn't be bad. She couldn't understand why I gave her a tip (she thought I accidentally paid twice and tried to give my money back). 

Value (5/10). No cover. $5.45 beer after tax. What strip club charges tax?!?!? Stage interaction very weak. Food decent price. $3 something for cheeseburger. $20 for 5 minutes of lapdances (based on time rather than songs)

Dance Setup (7/10) - You get a private room with a stage and a bench. There's only 1 of them so you might have to wait your turn. Nothing happens, but it's nice and private. 

Dance Quality (3/20) - You might get some let to leg contact, but that's about it from most of these girls. I was warned that they're "private dances," not "lap dances," because there will be little to no contact made with your lap. One girl apologized for how shitty Northern Virginia dances are and implied that we could have more fun after her shift, but I didn't pursue it. 

Location. (2/5) It's beside a 7-11. Street parking is a pain in the ass but there's public transportation.

Overall - Northern Virginia clubs are a waste of time, but this one is slightly less of a waste of time than most. The fact that I once lived within walking distance of this place and still only visited a few times should let you know that it isn't great though. Unless you're desperate for something in the area, save your cash and find time to drive to Baltimore. 

RAW SCORE - 43.5

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