Saturday, October 22, 2016

Notes on Visions Men's Club (New Orleans, LA)

As I mentioned in my Penthouse Detroit post, I'm clearing out some old notes. I'm just going to post them as is, so they won't be in full sentence and may not make any sense at all, but hopefully they're of some use to you. Just keep in mind that these aren't proper reviews - they may have been based on only 1 or 2 visits that probably took place 2-3 years ago, and I may have been extremely intoxicated. 

Value (8/10) $8 cover with one drink ticket at night ($4 with a drink ticket during the day), , $4 domestics, $6 mixed drinks. Dances are $20 per song in the communal room, $30 in booths 

Club Setup (3/10) Huge M shaped bar/stage combo snakes through the room, a few pool tables in the back, fairly large club but a little run down. Bar stools attached to the floor and a little too far from bar so slightly uncomfortable. Nowhere else to sit. A few TVs but too small and/or too far from people who can see them to really watch much (not that you'd want to). I was told standing room only on weekend nights, but maybe a quarter full at prime time on a Sunday during jazz fest.
Atmosphere (7/10) Good mix of music. Mixed but reasonably decent crowd. Male bartenders, but at least they're. Least pushy shot girl ever asked "shot?" while walking by, barely slowing down. Dive bar strip club in the best possible way. Need a dart board to complete the effect though. 

Variety (3.5/5) Good mix of black and white, thick and thin but not many/any Asians or Latinas.

Dancer quality (6/10) A few in the 8 to 9 range but mostly 6s and 7s. A few post pregnancy bellies, but No one bad though, and the thick girls are the good kind of thick.

Dances (16/20) I got an excellent grind with over the pants hand action and some mouth teasing. 2 way contact was encouraged and tit groping was tolerated or encouraged, depending on the girl. 

Dance setup (7/10) In the communal dance room, a shitty uncomfortable bench surrounds the room. 3 corner seats are poor, everywhere else is unacceptable. For 10 dollars more, you can get your own room with an open door, which is solid because the angles are good, especially in the back 2. Would be a 1 for the $20 option or a 7 for the $30 option, but that's reasonably priced, so I'll go with that. If you want to splash a little more cash, the party rooms are even better. They're $175 for 20 minutes and I was told that "what happens in there stays in there" and that we could "do anything but have sex." I didn't try it out, so I can't comment on whose definition of sex that was referring to. 

Attitudes (8/10) chatty, low pressure, the opposite of bourbon street. One girl gave an unsolicited tour. They go person to person around the huge stage and shake it for a buck. Topless. One girl pointed out that I dropped a dollar. Most wait for a new song to start before counting dances.

Number of Dancers (6/10) There were about 3 girls on stage at a time while I was there. Several working crowd but more of a locals place so don't expect quick attention if you aren't one, still over a dozen working a relatively small crowd. 

Location (2.5/10) It's not a bad area, but you'll definitely need to drive or pay for a ride to get there. It cost me about $20 for a cab from the French Quarter, and an Uber should be a little cheaper than that. 

Overall - This is a great club. Definitely my favorite in New Orleans, and there's plenty of competition for that title. 


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