Club Alex's (Stoughton, MA)

Quality of dances (6.5/20) – It seems like fun could be had in the champagne room, but the regular dances here are fairly disappointing. The dancers make decent contact with you, but the only person that you’ll be touching is the dude who’s getting a dance next to you.

Quality of dancers (7.5/10) – Two of the hottest strippers that I’ve ever seen work here, but most of the girls are in the 6-7.5 range. There are a few women that I wouldn’t even consider getting a dance from, but everyone is worth a buck or two when they do the dollar dances.

Number of Dancers (7.5/10) – Considering the size of this club, there are a ton of dancers. If you want a dance, you won’t have to wait for long at all.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (3/5) – I’d love to see some black dancers here, but there’s a good mix of white and Latina dancers. Strip club veterans already probably assume this, but if you’re going to get a dance, go for the Latinas, especially the Brazilians.

Attitude of dancers (4.5/10) – Most of the girls aren’t particularly chatty, but they’ll see if you want a dance, and they don’t give much attitude if you don’t. Only one of the dancers was overly pushy about the VIP room.

Value (4/10) –The cover is $3 in the afternoons and $10 at night, and drinks are $6. Some of the girls have decent pole moves on the stage, but their interaction with people who are giving tips is pretty poor. The dances are overpriced, but the dollar “dances” improve the value if you’re there at the right time. Every so often, the dj announces that the girls will be giving dollar dances for the next 3 songs, then all the girls go around and basically give 30 second samples of their dances at the tables. The dollar dances are too short to have much fun, but it’s a good opportunity to see who’ll give a good dance without wasting $20 to find out.

Dance Setup (0/10) – There’s an area toward the back wall where the tables are designated for lap dances. You have to sit in the same uncomfortable chairs that they have throughout the club, and you’ll probably be bumping knees with at least one other guy the whole time.

Club Setup (2/10) – The building is fairly nice and they get some credit for having a shower on the stage, but the club is way too cramped and the setup along the stage is terrible. The stage isn’t much above floor level and there are benches in a dugout area beside it. To make matters worse, there’s enough space between the bench and the stage so that other guys can walk by, so you aren’t close enough to the stage to get any action.

Club Atmosphere (5/10) – The atmosphere isn’t bad, but this is an 18 and over club and the crowd is very young.

Club Accessibility (1/5) – Alex’s is about half way between Boston and Providence, but it isn’t really close to anything.

Overall –A few of the dancers were hot enough to make me consider going back, but I'm all about the dances, and Alex’s just doesn’t have good enough dances to justify driving to Stoughton. If you’re going to drive this far, you might as well go the extra half hour to Rhode Island.

TOTAL SCORE = 41