King's Inn (North Dartmouth, MA)

Quality of dances (7/20) – These dances are limited contact for the most part, though the regulars seemed to have slightly more luck than I did. As far as limited contact dances go, these are pretty solid with a fair amount of friction. The girls make a lot of promises of fun to be had in the champagne room, but the prices that I was hearing were way too high for this quality of girl.

Quality of dancers (2.5/10) – The girls here ranged from slightly above average to atrocious. Most of the them are very plain and either are obese have horrible boob jobs.

Number of Dancers (4/10) – This is a small club with a few dancers, but it doesn't seem to get very busy, so you'll get more more than enough face time with the girls.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (1/5) – I'm willing to compromise a little on quality if a club throws in some variety, but the girls here were almost exclusively white.

Attitude of dancers (6/10) – Nearly everyone is friendly and it doesn't seem like they usually make much money, so they appreciate anything that you give them. The girls don't look happy when they're on the "stage," but I can't really blame them for that.

Value (3/10) – Dances are a terrible value at $25, beers are $5.75 each, the stage value is non-existent, and you need a spreadsheet to figure out the cover charge. Every day is different, but just as an example, on Fridays it's $3 before 6pm, $5 from 6-7, $10 from 7-midnight, and $20 from midnight-2am.

Dance Setup (2/10) – The dance room has bench seating and no partitions, and the bouncer has a clear view of everything.

Club Setup (1.5/10) – There are some cramped tables, a fairly small bar, and a pool table in here, but the main attraction is the "stage." It's just a section of the floor that's separated from the rest of the club by waist-level wooden livestock fencing. Seeing a pig of a woman jiggling around inside that pen was one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

Club Atmosphere (3.5/10) – This might not be a terrible place to stop for a beer, but I can't see anyone wanting to stay much longer than that.

Club Accessibility (1.5/5) – King's Inn isn't particularly close to anything worthwhile, but it isn't too far from New Bedford and they have plenty of parking.

Overall – This is the type of club that must survive by being a crime of convenience for locals, but it isn't even good enough to justify that. As with any club that I review that scores below a 35, I have to strongly discourage you from visiting.

TOTAL SCORE = 33