Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Zachary's Pub (Mashpee, MA)
Quality of dances (3/20) – You know what to expect from the minute you walk into the place, as the dj's most frequent line is, "Now's a great time to get a dance from one of our lovely ladies. Just as a reminder, in compliance with Massachusetts state law, contact with the dancers is strictly prohibited." The club was too bright and too wide open for me to bother trying anything, but according to the girls, the rules are uniformly enforced. The dancer did make some contact with me, but even that was fairly limited.
Quality of dancers (3/10) – There really aren't many terrible girls here, but there aren't any that would be above average at a respectable club either.
Number of Dancers (3/10) – According to the dry erase board at the entrance, 5 girls were working the evening I was there, but I didn't even see that many.
Variety/Diversity of dancers (2/5) – Unsurprisingly, most of the girls here are white. I did see one Asian or Latina girl during my visit.
Attitude of dancers (5/10) – The girls didn't look any happier to be here than I was, but when they got on stage, the attitudes were great. For a buck or two (usually 2 since the club gives $2 bills as change), the one dancer walked off the stage and gave short versions of her lap dance. I wish I'd known that before I bought a dance from her, but I liked the effort nonetheless.
Value (4/10) – The cover ($8 when I was there, but different by the hour) and the dances ($20) were way too high, but I can't complain about $3 drafts and solid stage shows. Just as a warning though, the stage value varied wildly from one girl to the next.
Dance Setup (0.5/10) – This is about as bad of a dance setup as I've ever seen. You sit along the one wall, but it's right in the middle of the brightly lit club, within sight of the dj who keeps making announcements about the state ban on contact. They get half a point because there was a lit fireplace beside the dances, but I'm probably being too generous with that.
Club Setup (1.5/10) – The inside isn't any better than the outside. The stage is terrible, the seats are uncomfortable, and the club is comically oversized for the number of girls and patrons.
Club Atmosphere (2.5/10) – I can't imagine ever having a good time here, but due to the reasonable beer prices, it might not be a terrible option for an after work beer if you're a local.
Club Accessibility (2/5) – There's a motel/apartments above the club, but other than that, this place is in the middle of nowhere.
Overall – The picture and the dance description tell you all that you need to know.
TOTAL SCORE = 29.5