Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Airport Lounge (Milwaukee, WI)

Quality of dances (6/20) – Unlike Encore, there's no sign on the front door of the club threatening a felony if you touch the dancers, but it is on the door to the dance room, and posted on the inside of every individual booth. I received solid one-way contact dances (alot of knee action), but I can't rate a dance very high at all when there is a felony warning right over my shoulder.

Quality of dancers (4/10) – There were about three attractive girls here, but unfortunately only one had a good stripper body, aka the requisite 1/2 inch of "filth" that provides a sweet, sweet dance. That being said, I did fall in love with a stripper. Also, I'm happy to report that there was not one set of fake tits in this club.

Number of dancers (4/10) – There were about 10-15 girls working; the rotation of girls was completed in about 45 minutes. However, there was only really one girl worth getting a dance from, and some stiff in a shirt and tie took up an hour of her time without getting a dance, and there was a backlog of customers waiting for her when she became free. She agreed to give me a dance, but then a guy offered to go into the VIP, and she vanished. If you ever consider paying $150 dollars for 30 min at the VIP at a club like this, you should save the money and go see a psychiatrist.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (1.5/5) – Despite its proximity to the south side, there was only one Latina working, one darker skinned girl, one hot white girl, and ten girls who basically looked the same- in fact two were even sisters.

Attitude of Dancers (7.5/10) – The attitude of the dancers is the only thing that saves this club. For a one-way contact club, the girls give you an insane amount of stage play- motorboating, blowing of the ears, and they're aggressive on the stage! The girl who gave me a dance went out of her way to get Akon on for the dance, and the girls will sit with you, but you have to buy them drinks.

Value (1.5/10) – The value drops sharply the longer you stay here. $5 dollar cover, but they give you a free entrance voucher. $3 beers on special, but anything over $1.25 in MKE is highway robbery. You can get a $10 dance, but you really have to pay $25 if you are going to get a real dance, and that's way too much for a one-way contact dance. Tip walk is a ball-buster, and the girls will hustle you for $9 drinks if you allow them to hang around.

Dance Setup (0/10) – The $10 dance booths are on the main floor along the wall, and I swear they stole shoe-shine chairs/booths from the airport accross the street and stuck them along the wall. The $25 dollar room has a bouncer at the cash register an arm's length away the whole time, and you're in the same shoeshine-esque booth with nothing accross the front. Even for $150, you only get a half-wall blocking your view, but you get a leather couch. I dropped this value from a 0.5 to a 0 solely because there are signs in each booth reminding you of the felonious consequences of touching the dancers.

Club Setup (3.5/10) – You are basically forced to sit at the stage or the bar, which faces away from the stage. The stage has two circular areas where the girls dance, but not enough seats; when you sit in the middle, you can't see the dancers, and they rarely approach. There are tiny tables against the wall, but really only large enough for one person. When asked where groups should sit, the waitress pointed to a 2x4 with 5 chairs in front of it.

Club Atmosphere (4/10) – I spent 2 hours here, which was 1 1/2 hours too long. When you walk in, you can't even see the dancers due to all of the smoke in the air. The music was good at first, but degenerated into heavy metal. Since it is right next to the airport, the girls cluster around the stiffs in ties who act like they're going to spend money, but only waste the dancers' time. There's nowhere to really hang out, and you're going to get hustled if you stick around too long.

Club Accessibility (2.5/5) – The club is right by the airport, but really isn't that accessible from downtown. Most of the clientelle is just people staying at the hotels in the surrounding area.

Overall - For Milwaukee, this club seems decent. I would recommend it if you are killing time before a flight, or for a very brief stop in. This is definitely not a place to hang out with friends or not get lung cancer.


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