Thursday, June 18, 2009

Gold Club (Bedford, NH)

Note: This review was based on a visit that took place while this was still Mark's Showplace. Some things may have changed since then, but based on comments from my readers, the dances aren't much better than they've ever been.

Quality of dances (1/20) – This category needs a lengthy explanation, because the club is great but the dances are among the worst I've ever had. In New Hampshire apparently it's state law to wear lame ass pasties over nipples, and there is absolutely no contact. One of the girls I talked to rolled her eyes sarcastically when she told me that, and unfortunately I wasn't smart enough to get a dance from her. I fell in love with a gorgeous young blonde who I'm sure would give a great dance in another state, and she appeared to try to cheat the rule as much as possible, but that is completely irrelevant to me. The only good thing is that the dance area is walled off from the rest of the club for good privacy, but what does it matter that no one can see a girl dancing 3 feet away from you.

Quality of dancers (8/10) – Every single dancer there was at least a 6, and a few were in the 8-9 range. No fatties, grandmas, or fakes. They all had very sexy outfits on as well.

Number of Dancers (9/10) – On a Monday afternoon there were 6 dancers, all out and about. I was told that, on Tuesday nights when it's a $2 cover and $2 drinks, they get 30+ dancers. Clearly I'll have to revisit the club on a Tuesday for, ahem, fact checking.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (2.5/5) – Though mostly white girls, there were a variety of body types and styles, and no fake tits. One Latina helped a little, but only a little.

Attitude of dancers (5.5/10) – After two girls ignored me walking by several times, a seasoned veteran came to sit down and invited her friend to hang out. They told us a few lame jokes and laughed at my awesome joke, and never pressured us about getting a dance. They didn't even get terribly upset when I went to get a dance from the hot blonde calling my name.

Value (5.5/10) – The cover is always $5, except on Tuesday it's $2 with $2 drinks. Monday has $1 Miller High Lifes, and $1 wing plate with french fries. Not much could be a better deal. Dances, however, at $20 are about $17 more than they should be for what you get. Stage value is terrible as well because of the no contact rule, and if you go up empty handed, you get what you pay for. (note: according to some readers who have visited more recently than I have, most or all of these prices have gone up since the Gold Club took over)

Dance Setup (2/10) – There's a room in the back end of the club that is 3/4 walled off and very large which is nice, but then there are uncomfortable old benches all along the walls, so everyone is watching everyone else's dance. There are also no partitions anywhere so you better hope Larry Craig isn't sliding his foot over even a little bit.

Club Setup (9/10) – One main stage, and two smaller stages spread almost equidistant so that when it's very busy you never have to look far for someone up there. Chairs/tables are very comfortable and spaced apart so you never feel cramped. There are two dark corners to hide out if you so choose, three large screen TV's with ESPN on, and the bar is a good size and never cramps anyone sitting nearby.

Club Atmosphere (9/10) – The feel of this club is that of a slightly upscale restaurant while still pulling off the casual relaxing pub type atmosphere, with lots of titties roaming around. A very difficult task to accomplish, but they pull it off. Hopefully next time I go back I'll see the shower show that received rave reviews from another patron.

Club Accessibility (1.5/5) – Roughly 5 miles from route 93, It's still pretty far from any real civilization. What can ya do, it's New Hampsha. Still, there is a hotel less than a mile away, so bachelor party possibilities linger in my mind. If you are going to go out of your way to get here though, just make sure that they're open, because, as I found out the hard way, they've got some strange hours of operation.

Overall – If you're in the area, stopping by is a must. Unfortunately, unless you are a hippie or are on your way between Boston and Canada on business, you'll never be in the area. Thankfully this place is worth a visit on the right nights to rip it up hard and crash at a hotel nearby. Just don't get your hopes up for dances, and forget about extras, as the manager banned girls making out during the shower show because it was "too sexual."



  1. Agree 100% with your review. Only has gotten better since. Now opens at noon weekdays and serves a great lunch too.

  2. Mark's was recently sold to the owner of the "Gold Club" chain. the small room that made up the VIP area has been torn down, and now the private dances take place in a small room down a hall past the billiard room. As of the end of Januray that room had no heat, and almost no lighting. It raises the hopes that the dances will be extra special- dont get your hopes up! The ladies are hot and the contact is minimal.

  3. Peter

    Any recent visits after this club changed hands?


  5. I checked out the Gold Club just last week while up on work and was there for three nights straight (Sun-Tues). The girls are mostly very attractive with mostly smaller breasts (A-B cups) and I only saw one with "fakes". The pasties were pretty lame and the girls never took off their panties (stupid NH laws), but they don't have a problem getting close to you while sitting at the main stage. Their favorite thing seems to be to lean back against you, nibble on your ear while either moaning or purring. For the most part they don't rub their breasts against you like in other clubs in Mass, they save that for the lap dances (if even then).

    The semi-private lap dances were decent for the most part, with most of the girls I was with not having a problem rubbing against me in a nice way on my lap. The bigger issue I had was the price ($30 per dance) and strangely enough the "2 for 1" on Tuesday was $40? One of the dancers that I was getting close with told me if I wanted to touch her, then I would need to get the Champagne Room for a private dance ($300 for 30 minutes). I decided not to, but it was tempting....

  6. I also went within the past few weeks and had a good time. Stopping in right after they opened, I was the only customer in there. After enjoying a leisurely (mediocre, but who's really there for the food) lunch, I sat at the stage and met all three girls that were on as they rotated through. All three of them were attractive. One was particularly smoking, but I didn't get such a great vibe from her (as is often the case).

    Instead, I went with the one that was slightly less hot, but had a very palpable dirty streak. Sure enough, she didn't disappoint when we went to the back room for a few dances. If only I had more time and enough cash on me for the champagne room, I'm fairly certain there was potential for an even better time.

    All in all, it's definitely worth a repeat visit the next time I'm up that way.

  7. I went to The Gold Club in Bedford last night being Friday and was excited to go because I just needed an exciting night out compaired to bars which I went to first instead of clubs. Amission price $10 not so bad right? Got in grabbed a Bottle of Budwieser way too overpriced for one bottle almost $6.00, $5.50 to be exact. Relaxed for a little while then one of the dancers came over and asked me if I wanted a dance of course I said yes. So I went to the booth to have a dance, pretty good contact. When I went to pay for the dance at the counter I still had all my money and I bought a porno DVD to with the 2 dances $30 altogether not bad. Only thing that sucks of course that everyone's mentioned is the pasties over the girls nipples. New Hampshire sucks in that way for some reason like they're trying to sensor nipples and asses for some reason compaired to other states which pisses me off. Anyway so when I left the booth from the dance I decided I wanted anohter drink so I went to take money out of my left jeans pocket where it had been the whole time and it was gone! I was in a world of hurt when I found that out. I was wondering if when I had taken it out earlier if the rest dropped on the floor but I wasn't that drunk to not notice. So I checked where I had sat prior to getting the dance, nothing. I checked that whole row of seats and tables in the area I was sitting asked people of course they're not going to say they saw your money or picked it up. So I asked the manager and a couple of other staff members they said there's nothing we can do obviously and we don't know what to tell you except that it's gone somehow exactly when is what I'm trying to pin point. I asked the manager if I could speak to the girl I had the dance from he said no. So I ended up wasting my night and more money than I wanted to. I probably would have spent more if stayed longer. My guess or idea is that the dancer could have pickpocketed me during the dance which I figured I would have noticed but I was kind of in to it. Other possibility which is not likely dropping a whole wod of cash on the floor and not knowing. Would of picked it up though. What is anyone's take on this what can I do besides let it go. I will never go back to The Gold Club again because it is too overpriced once you get in the door and the manager didn't help me out that much trying to locate my money. Instead of The Gold Club I call it The Cold Club for not helping me out enough to locate my money. Also by the way it is $300 an hour to go upstairs and have sex with a dancer. Tip to anyone don't bring a whole wod of cash in your pocket put some maybe in your wallet where it is not as acessible to hands or falling out on the floor.

  8. I don't see any point with going all the way to the sticks 4 this club. Absolutely not worth my time. One girl looked like the heroin was dripping from her arm! Drinks were fairly priced but the girls aren't allowed to drink AT ALL you know what that means.

  9. I got kicked out this weekend. I had a really pretty flirty girl chatting me up. Very friendly.. I bought her a drink and she convinced me to go to the champagne room. I was caught in the moment, drunk, talking dirty. I ended up rubbing her leg more than I should have. She didn't ask me to stop, but I did when I realized what I was doing.

    So the manager had me leave and told me never to come back. Thata fine. I get it. There are rules to follow. But to ban someone, caught up in the moment, but realizing his mistake is stupid. The girl got $350 out of me that night. I was respectful and friendly the entire time... well till the leg rubbing thing. I
    will take my money elsewhere.

  10. This place is gross, you would save more money and have a better time driving an extra 45 mins to a mass club! The girls here are an improvement over "marks showplace" but definitely not worth the time or money. Also I have a friend who worked there, and what I read above About having lost their money, or the girl picked his pocket, she has said that happens all the time. As well as many of the girls taking full advantage of the "champagne" room, being just a more glorified dance, unless the girls into you she will screw you, but you better wear protection, coke and smack are most of these girls' boosts. Check out amesbury ma