Mario's Showplace (Webster, MA)

Quality of dances (11.5/20) – Mostly full contact, depending on the girl, though I’ve never been offered any extras. The last time that I was there, my dance was fairly mediocre, but there was a substance on the side of the booth that almost certainly was some other dude's jizz, so it's safe to say that experiences can vary wildly from one girl to the next. At least all the women know how to grind on the pipe, which is always a plus.

Quality of dancers (7/10) – I’ve been there both during the week and on the weekend, day and night, and the quality of dancers is pretty consistent, which is a plus. There are always a few 8+ girls, though they are usually taken to the back room by a revolving door of middle-aged locals.

Number of dancers (7/10) – Always at least 1 on stage, and at least 8-10 walking around. The dancer/customer ratio is always a good one.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (4/5) – It used to be mostly white girls, but they've had several attractive black girls and a few Asians working during my last few visits. Sadly, all of the Latinas in the area work over at Centerfolds.

Attitude of Dancers (6/10) – Almost no girls are pushy, and many will sit down and talk for a while. Though I always buy the girls a drink, it’s never expected and thanks are always given. Very rare to have a bad attitude at this place. Unfortunately, a lot of girls complain about back child support and unpaid student loans, which is kind of a buzzkill, and I've had one girl blatantly miscount dances.

Value (6/10) – You can go to the website and print out a “free cover” coupon, which is up to a $20 value. The only time it doesn’t apply is Saturday after 6pm, but that’s because some porn star is usually being featured. Beers are $5-$6, drinks around $8. For dances, you get a wristband ($5) with your first dance, and all dances afterwards are $25 full nude. So it's $30 for one and the average cost falls after that. Also of note is the $9 prime rib. It comes with crappy frozen veggies and mashed potatoes, but who cares? The 12 ouncer is actually above average, cooked properly and the only food I've ever ordered at a strip club.

Dance Setup (4.5/10) – Comfortable chairs and decent privacy between other guys getting dances does not help the fact that you can probably see someone in the bad seat getting a dance from the entrance if you look hard enough. Bouncers are also right around the corner.

Club Setup (5/10) – When they aren’t too busy, there are 4 tables very close to all three corners of the stage, but not so close that you need your dollar bills out, which is pretty awesome. When it’s busy, it’s very cramped unless you get a good seat before someone else does. The bench seats on the sides are key to getting dancers to sit with you.

Club Atmosphere (4/10) - This is a fully nude, fairly small club that’s comfortable most of the time. The attitude of the girls makes it easily likable, as long as you’re not a jackass yourself. Unfortunately, it completely lacks privacy, which is important for working the game, and it fails to give off that intangible good feeling vibe possessed by some other clubs.

Club Accessibility (1/5) – If you live in Worcester and love to gamble, you're in luck, because Mario's is almost directly on the route to Foxwoods/Mohegan Sun, making it the perfect place for a quick warmup. But if you're anyone else, you're screwed. Relative to most metro areas, Mario's is in the fucking boonies.

Overall – I have a special place in my heart for Mario's, and I'd never recommend that you not go there. But given its relative location, I can't encourage a long trip just for the experience. If you're in the area, then by all means, stop right in. Just make sure you bring a designated driver, because I've often found myself stopping with a group of guys for one beer, only to leave at 2 AM with 75% of us hammered.

TOTAL SCORE = 56

Last Updated: September, 2010