Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Spearmint Rhino (Las Vegas, NV)

Quality of dances (12/20) – Totally depends on the girl. I’ve had full contact in both directions, and I’ve had mild contact from her and no contact for me.

Quality of dancers (10/10) – Despite way too many enhanced titties, this shit is the cream of the crop. If you can’t find a dancer that you love here, you don’t belong near a strip club.

Number of dancers (8/10) – The dancer/dude ratio is almost always very favorable. The one exception is at about 2 AM on Friday and Saturday when it gets packed with asshats. At those times, girls are often just shuttling guys back and forth from the back room and it’s difficult to pin one down for a dance.

Variety/Diversity of dancers (5/5) – Pick your flavor. The Rhino has it.

Attitude of Dancers (3/10) – These girls are hustlers. No doubt about it. Their game is really transparent to anyone who has spent real time at clubs. If you’re new to the scene, don't be fooled.

Value (3/10) – Always at least a $20 cover, unless you set something up ahead of time. Beers are like $6-7, dances are $20 on the floor and then maybe 3 for $100 in the back (it has been a while). If you pick the right girl, this number might jump a bit, but I don’t think I could ever rate it above a 4.

Dance Setup (4/10) – $20 dances are out on the main floor, and who wants their friends watching them get a dance, so that blows. The backroom has partitioned booths, but the bouncer is pretty close and there aren’t many private spots.

Club Setup (8/10) – Tons of square footage, comfy rolly chairs, big stage, and lots of seating options (next to the stage, elevated and back from the stage, private roped-off area). A very well-planned joint.

Club Atmosphere (8/10) – There's a real good vibe to the Rhino, especially during slower hours. Once you walk through the doors, you feel like you're shut off from the rest of the world and ready to throw down. It's hard to explain, but I'm confident you'll understand upon arrival.

Club Accessibility (4/5) – As accessible as any other Vegas club (shortish cab ride from anywhere on the Strip), but the fact that you can’t walk prevents it from being a 5.

Overall – Here's the thing. The Rhino is well-known as the best strip club in the world. It's got the hottest girls I've ever seen and it's brilliantly set up, but it falls short in several key categories, including quality of dances and dancer attitude. I developed my rating system as a result of years of experience; you should trust my judgment. If you're going for the experience, visit the Rhino. But if you're going for the dances, you've got plenty of better options.



  1. Overall which club in Vegas has the best dances / value?

  2. Most dance prices in Vegas are a standard $20, but if you're willing to wait for the frequent 2-for-1 dances, you really can't beat Little Darlings for dance quality and value. Just remember to print out one of these passes (http://www.littledarlingsvegas.com/passes), because their cover charge is brutal. It's an alcohol-free club though, so you'll need to plan your evening accordingly.