Electric Blue (Tolland, CT)

Quality of Dances (19/20) - It varies from girl to girl, but a good dance here is as good as any dance that you'll ever have. Most of the girls are willing to go the extra distance to make sure that you leave satisfied, and a few of them seem to be ashamed if they can't finish you off. The only negative is that some of the girls, especially on the day shift, will play ridiculously short songs in the dance room. If you hear "Extra Pale" or "Acoustic #3" by the Goo Goo Dolls, insist that they wait until the next song. There's no shortage of girls who will give you a great dance, but the Latinas are the safest best if you aren't willing to go through a little trial and error.

Quality of Dancers (6/10) - They don't seem to be very exclusive about who can work here and there have been too many fake tits recently, but there are usually multiple girls in the 7-8 range. That's been less of a sure thing recently though, and I've had to lower my usual standards a few times in order to get a dance. Still, these dances are good enough to justify going with a girl who is a little larger or a little older than I'd usually be spend my cash on.

Number of Dancers (7/10) - There are usually several girls that would be worth getting a dance from, and because the club is rarely too crowded, the dude/dancer ratio is always favorable. There's been more filler than usual lately, but the overall numbers are still pretty solid.

Variety/Diversity of Dancers (3.5/5) - There are a ton of Brazilians, but African Americans are rare and Asians are nonexistent.

Attitude of Dancers (7.5/10) - If they're busy, you may have to approach them, but they're mostly friendly and won't keep pestering you to get dances if you're not interested. Also, they never ask for tips after dances and the stage action is pretty solid. There's been a little more of a push for the Champagne room recently, but most of the girls only ask once and still provide great dances if you decline.

Value (6.5/10) - The $5 cover and drink prices are reasonable, and the dances are an amazing value if you're interested in letting the dancers do everything that they're willing to do. My only complaint here is that they recently started charging the $5 cover even in the afternoons, but at least that means the one drink minimum is gone. If you're anything like me, your sole purpose of being in a club in the afternoon is to get dances, so you can make up for the cover charge by refusing to buy a beverage, that way the net amount of cash that you have available for the ladies won't change.

Dance Setup (2.5/10) - There are partitions between the chairs, but anyone can look in to see what's going on. Also, there are closed-circuit cameras watching, though most of the dancers are skilled enough to block the angles with their body. If a girl asks you where you want to sit, go to the booth in the back left corner, because the dances are significantly better when you're back there.

Club Setup (8/10) - This is not a super-classy club, but it is very well-designed. The stage is fairly large, the chairs are relatively comfortable, and there are plenty of dark corners where you can sit if you don't feel like being out in the open.

Club Atmosphere (7/10) - This is a great place to relax, and seems to be fairly safe (except for the night where one of the dancers came at the bouncer with a knife. It's too bad they fired her; she was a ton of fun). Also, the music is usually pretty solid, even if the late-night DJ (ponytail) is kind of a dickbag.

Club Accessibility (1/5) - The club is right off of the interstate, but there are no hotels and no mass transportation options in the immediate area. If you're looking to stay at a hotel nearby and catch a cab to the club, I recommend the Howard Johnson Express in Vernon. The rooms are cheap, and there are built-in bottle openers beside the toilets. The taxi will cost you about $30 each way and the room is around $65, but it's easily worth it to make an epic night of drinking and strip clubbing.

Overall - This is one of my favorite clubs of all time and is by far the best club in New England.

Last Updated: January, 2011

TOTAL SCORE = 68